Today is a good day ( Read more... )

There is no fault to this ( Read more... )

Last night I though about Christmas and I cried.
I realized that I don't want Christmas.
Then I realized I don't want to go back to our house. My going back means you have to leave.
And I cried.
I imagined you in my arms.
That is what I want. It is what I can't have right now.
I don't want Christmas there would be no point.

I struggle, I know you struggle. I am trying to keep on top of everything. I watched for you everyday. Just to know you were there. Just to know you existed. I wish I knew you had known you were drowning. I feel horrible. I would have wrote and wrote and wrote, like I did one day almost 2 years ago. I just need to know. I just need to know ( Read more... )

Lost

Sometimes I just feel low
I try to understand why
But why eludes me

Without why I cannot fight
Without why I am lost
I need something to look towards

Sometimes things are too far
Sometimes they are not enough
So I stay lost and alone

Not sure how I feel today. Been depressed all day and yesterday too. Most of the day I managed to surf some emotional highs and stayed semi-ok. Now I just feel ... blah. Like I am missing somethng. Don't know what. I don't feel numb. Just sad. Just beyond the happiness and contentedness of those around me. Sometimes I feel most alone when ( Read more... )

Despair

To be numb in all ways but one
Sadness
Laughter, you can not share
Sadness
Beauty, you can not have
Sadness
Feelings that no one understands
Sadness
Completely alone
Sadness
Driven to seek it out
Sadness
Because it is the only thing
Sadness
It becomes your only friend
Sadness
Your worst enemy
Sadness

Everything