counselor appt next week ( Read more... )

i was already apprehensive to go out with my two old high school friends today...and now there's one more coming along, one who i haven't seen since high school, and it seems like a big deal now. and i'm scared. but i don't know why--they're not going to hurt me or be mean to me, i just feel very...reluctant to go with them today. but now i ( Read more... )

i have an almost fanatical sense of perception, i realize ( Read more... )

i keep coming back to that place, that question place of what my life will become. i wonder if i can (want to) go through another three years at school. i wonder if the charm of being able to say that i have a degree in botany is really worth it all. i feel like i'm putting my life off for the next three years. i know that's not true--that i ( Read more... )

Work has become less amusing ( Read more... )

back at home, i have come to realize the differences between my parents and myself. Before i thought i just didn't get along with them, and now i realize that it is real differences that makes it hard sometimes to get along in everyday situations ( Read more... )

i hate that feeling of wishing you could go back and re-do something ( Read more... )

how do we decide what to do with our lives? this is a big question--this is what we shall be DOING for the remainder of our lives. here we are in college--the 1% of the world who gets a college education--and we so often waste it away drinking or smoking or just being lazy or having too much unprotected sex with too many partners. how can we ( Read more... )

today i listened and simmered in my disagreement with a conversation that took place in my religious studies class about factory and blue collar work, comparing this with poverty, spiritual poverty. This got into a discussion of all blue collar/manual/menial/non-specialist jobs, and how they're all just self-induced poverty. all of these people ( Read more... )

a close friend of mine was telling me this morning/last night about how his uncle used to go to humboldt state university when he was young. the joke was, the humboldt men are big and masculine--and so are the women ( Read more... )