its been a while... for those of you who don't know, i just recently completed a week of inpatient rehab at arms acres in carmel, new york. that week was like a big joke to me, i yessed everyone to death, participated half-heartedly in group, and everyone knew that once i got out my intentions would shift straight to using again. well, they were ( Read more... )

life has never been better. theres the occasional ups and downs, but being in love makes everything worthwhile.

if i don't get to spend spring break in california with my love i am going to die.

i want everyone to know that i'm not gonna be the person i've been lately. i've finally gotten to the point where i'm disgusted with where life's taking me. and to everyone who i have hurt i am sorry. right now i'm gonna have to realize who and what matters in my life. who is gonna stay and who is gonna leave, who is gonna come back from the ( Read more... )

i'll stop breathing if i don't see you anymore.

i basically got a job writing articles / editorials for vice magazine. a woman who works for them found me on myspace, and contacted me asking if i would like to write an article for an upcoming issue. i gladly accepted. i sent it in, and she really liked it. i've been asked to continue writing for them. it's really exciting ( Read more... )

today i surrendered myself to my higher power, and i am clean; even if just for today. i am recovering one day at a time. i joined narcotics anonymous and i will attend meetings as often as every day. i really didn't give it any thought beforeahand, just yesterday i was fucked up but the way i look at it if i was willing to give drugs a try, ( Read more... )

so now is when i actually have to grow concerned about my future. at this point i have to enroll to take classes at suffolk to graduate on time, so i've been thinking about just engulfing myself in classes and accumulating credits to graduate a semester early. meaning by next winter i will be complete with highschool. after that i want a little ( Read more... )

good turns to bad a lot faster than bad turns to good. i just found out that jackie's coming home for two weeks, and then going back to florida forever, her family found a house down there so yeah. jack's moving to california in january. how much more of my heart is gonna be thrown around the fucking country? i hate this, i hate building up ( Read more... )

fuck being drunk
i cant stop eating
shit shit shit