(Untitled)

[drunkwithpines]

I used to special order obscure books for weirdos. The service wasn't actually formally restricted to weirdos, but this seemed to be the bulk of my clientele, in spite of the stolid location (downtown DC) and the characterless megastore in which I worked. Closet keeblers masquerading as ponytailed programmers, fans of Suzanne Somers' poetry,

Comments

[vena_cava]

Man, I never know what to say when you talk about your mom. Wow.

It sounds like you're trying your best though, not just being a Terrible Daughter.

[drunkwithpines]

I know, it's a total silencer. There's really not much one can say, but I am always genuinely appreciative when folks try. I think it takes some bravery to pipe up about other people's troubles.

Thanks, I know I'm not a bad daughter, but shit is it a drag when you make them cry.

Two weeks to my birthday. You're coming, yes?

[vena_cava]

It also takes bravery to pipe up about your own troubles, you know?

And yes, if it's definitely happening, I'll definitely be there!

no guilt

[rambert]

I occasionally do this same thing. But then I think of the times, many more times, when my family has done the same thing to me, and I've forgiven them by the next day. I apologize and give myself a little of the same forgiveness.

I'd have smashed my face through some unyielding surface long ago, otherwise.

And don't make fun of Suzanne Somers. She is the greatest poet since Rod McKuen.

P.S. At your next meeting, combine the two words: fucking asswipe. Then look to the nearest empty chair and say: "Sorry."

I do things like this all the time. Probably why I do a lot of restaurant work.

speaking of empty chairs

[drunkwithpines]

where the hell have you been?
fucking asswipe!
sorry.

you've been missed.

Re: missed? i didn't even see you throw anything

[rambert]

Ooh! That sort of language gets me sort of, jazzed-up, ya know what I mean? (i feel like I'm channeling Michael Keaton's character in 'Beetlejuice' all of a sudden. This is not good...)

I'll be around, periodically. L.J. gets to be reflex with me, real fast. I hate this, the anxiety-tinged: "time to update, let's log-on and see if anyone answered my post," personal marketing bit.

Also, and bluntly, I hate everything i've ever written.

I'm really not sure why I continue to do it, unless it's all an attempt to defy my internal editor, that draconian little cocksucker.

Anyway, I'm going to get my fix of newly minted burracho con pines posts, now. Wish me luck ;)

Re: missed? i didn't even see you throw anything

[drunkwithpines]

I certainly have my own strident ambivalences about this forum. Different from your own, but no less anxiety-tinged. Recently I stopped caring, which is pleasant, though we'll see if that phase lasts.

Since we're being blunt, you are likely all alone in your low opinion of your screed. I've told you what I think. And I'd repeat it, but I hardly expect kissing ass will change your new approach. But there you have it.
It's a blow to those of us who know you only at a mediated distance.
Come to my birthday party and change all that, and I may stop whining.

Plus you're the only person I'm aware of who knows from where I stole my user name.

an addendumb

[rambert]

Oh, and it's hard to defend a character as a composite (love object? get the freak a blow-up doll) when the dialogue is poached verbatim from your letters.