Comments | dslartoo: LJ Idol, Topic 23: "Silence and Darkness" [fiction]

dslartoo

LJ Idol, Topic 23: "Silence and Darkness" [fiction]

Apr 12, 2012 18:18

Weak.

Worthless.

Useless.

Stupid bitch.She hunches her shoulders, pulling into her shell, preparing for another blow. He never hits. Says that any man who would beat up on a woman is total scum. He never even raises his voice to her. But the impacts come in an endless stream, nevertheless. The scorn in his tone, the carelessly tossed phrases, ( Read more... )

Comments 39

similiesslip April 13 2012, 01:45:54 UTC

Your entry is very sad but you are right that a person who abuse almost always "passes the blame," saying, "If you were not ___ way, I wouldn't get so angry."

The sensory details in your entry are very vivid. Quite a picture you paint here. It is very well done yet very...upsetting too.

dslartoo April 13 2012, 12:35:05 UTC

One of the things that infuriates me the most about abusive people is that they blame the VICTIM for pissing them off. I tried to show some of my utter contempt for bastards like that.

And it's meant to be upsetting. I want people to remember there are still jackasses like this out there and that women do NOT have to put up with them.

Thanks for coming by.

cheers,
Phil

jacq22 April 13 2012, 02:17:28 UTC

For such a drastic subject, this was so beautifully written. Every time I read of abuse I cringe. My heart goes out to any woman suffering this. But the tide will turn, and bullies are always cowards.

A very disturbing and brutal entry, brilliant.

"But here, now, in this gray, austere house, with thunderclouds gathering on his brow, the dream shatters and falls in shards at her feet." wonderful description of a mood.

dslartoo April 13 2012, 12:35:52 UTC

I do try to paint vivid pictures, even if the picture isn't the most cheerful one. I'm happy you found it vivid enough.

Thanks for dropping by, as usual!

cheers,
Phil

basric April 13 2012, 02:34:22 UTC

Both scenarios are terrifying. Nicely done.

dslartoo April 13 2012, 12:36:46 UTC

I can only imagine what it must be like to be in a situation like that, so I have to just guess. Frankly, I'd rather not get any closer than that.

Thanks for coming by.

cheers,
Phil

medleymisty April 13 2012, 14:20:29 UTC

The first bit reminds me of an emotionally abusive friendship I was in over the past couple of years. And I totally did blame myself every time he raged at me and I tried to figure out what was so wrong with me that I was always making him mad and I was always apologizing to him for basically being myself.

But I'm extremely lucky, because it was just an online friendship that I could easily get away from physically, if not emotionally, and I have an absolutely wonderful husband. So my situation is not even close to your characters, but still, I can identify with her somewhat.

I like your phrasing and imagery. :)

dslartoo April 15 2012, 14:00:48 UTC

I could never understand why people who are in relationships like that blame themselves for the way the other person acts, even when it gets to the point of utter absurdity. It just doesn't make sense to me. Then again, little about abusive relationships makes sense to me -- I can't understand why someone would want to TREAT anyone else that way.

Regardless, I'm glad you ended that one and equally glad you have a strong and happy relationship with your hubby. Important stuff, there.

Thanks for coming by! I appreciate the comments.

cheers,
Phil

medleymisty April 16 2012, 02:39:53 UTC

Well - for me, at least, it had roots in my childhood, where I learned how to survive my mother's random rages by taking the blame and agreeing with her and promising to do better. It's not generally people with good self-esteem who end up in abusive relationships, after all. There were other circumstances too, but yeah - basically it comes down to me already having low self-esteem before we met. And there were plenty of good times too, when it was all fun and good and nice and I thought he really cared and that we were great friends, and that his random rages were just occasional occurrences like my mother's.

But I realized and learned and got better last year, so it's all good now.

Thanks.

genesisdesire April 14 2012, 19:32:59 UTC

This hurt. This hurt to the point I wasn't breathing. Because I've been the first. I've heard the words and convinced myself if I could just stop making him so mad, he wouldn't scream at me in public and mock me in private and tear down my self worth. It hurt. It kept hurting. I could feel her reality, feel the shock setting it. And then, like a breath I hadn't meant to hold, I felt relieved, seeing the end. Knowing it's terrible, yet how much worse, how defensible, all sorts of tangled thoughts.

Unsettling. But good.

dslartoo April 15 2012, 14:10:28 UTC

I was concerned that some people who had been in relationships like this in the past might see it and excoriate me for making light of the situations, or being overly dramatic, or not portraying things accurately, or not painting the abusers with a strong enough brush, or any number of a host of things. Also in my mind was the possibility that I might hurt someone or bring up unpleasant memories, and to that I could only hope it wouldn't be too bad ( ... )