I had a dream last night that I was working for an ad company and I was in charge of coming up with a tag line for their newest product: a meat watch, which is exactly what it sounds like: a wristwatch made entirely of meat. All I could come up with was "Don't be late for your next meating, get a meat watch."

I think I need to get my brain

While at the liquor store with Jesse ( Read more... )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamboozled

I drove an hour this morning to go to Larimer county where they had a free dental clinic for low income families and individuals. I saw it on the news last night so I decided why the fuck not? I had an assessment done last year and my doc said I needed some cavities filled and possibly a tooth extracted. Then I lost my insurance after getting only ( Read more... )

I forgot that the dental industry is chock full of attractive twenty-something females. And here I am with my 3-day-old dirt 'stache.

There's something disheartening about watching a man answer his new 3G iPhone and discuss his plans to party all weekend while he's standing in line for free dental work for low income families. Also, someone in this line has some crazy halitosis. After a brief and nonchalant hand cup self check (under the guise of a cough), I have determined that ( Read more... )

Free bagels? Thx, I'll take 8. But why the fuck are you feeding us right before you work on our teeth? I brushed and flossed for 20 minutes before I came here. I even turned down the granola bars as a courtesy to these benevolent volunteer dentists when they came around ten minutes ago, but sorry doc, anyone that knows JayCo knows that JayCo doesn' ( Read more... )

I wish I would have brought a book. This line is slower than any of the ones encountered at disneyworld. And this line doesn't have a fun ending. At disneyworld you leave soaked in water spit at you by a monster at the climax of the ride. Here you have blood and saliva covering your shirt in it's stead. Instead of lasers, lights, and sirens, you ( Read more... )

I don't know, but LOL @ Michael Rapaport.

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