Dear Onew Ch. 3
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played by your dark twisted games when I loved you so?
3
The two of them were sitting side by side in front of the piano while Onew gave Minho the music sheets of the song he chose. Minho browsed through it, nodding and pretending to know what it means but he was just really trying to show off.
“Do you really know what those notes stand for?” said Onew.
Minho looked at him with his wide chocolate brown eyes for a moment before shaking his head slowly like a child. Onew clicked his tongue.
“It looks so complex! Why didn’t you let me choose which song I would want to play?” said Minho.
“That’s because you’ll probably choose something that even a kindergartner would master in one day. Ms. Cho was particular with the difficulty of the task you choose for extra credit. Plus, this isn’t even that hard! But judging by your skills, Ms. Cho would probably know that this is really hard for you,” said Onew seriously.
Minho scoffed at what Onew said but nodded, anyway.
“So, shall we start?” said Onew.
“Fine,” said Minho.
“Are you familiar with the basic chords?” said Onew.
“I may be failing but I’m not an idiot,” said Minho.
“I’ll take that as a yes, snappy pants,” said Onew. “I’m going to play the left hand slowly first while dictating the chords, ok?” said Onew.
“Neh~” said Minho. Onew placed the music sheets first on their place.
You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain…
“Majority of the song is played on E flat major. As you can see there’s a pattern that you’re going to repeat throughout the song for that left hand. The first one’s A flat, then E flat, then B flat followed by E flat then A flat,” said Onew.
“You know, you could’ve just said an A flat chord plus an extra E flat and A flat,” said Minho.
“Shut up. If you want to get this piece perfect, learn to shut up when I’m talking,” snapped Onew.
He then proceeded on playing and explaining the whole music sheet to Minho. There were no jokes, no snide remarks and no teases from the older guy. The atmosphere changed and became heavy. Onew’s seriousness was making Minho tense. It’s as if he was a different guy.
Minho would flinch whenever Onew clicks his tongue when Minho presses a wrong key. Minho wasn’t usually that affected if he makes a mistake but it was different with Onew. He was afraid to make a mistake in his presence. He wanted to show the senior that he wasn’t stupid. Minho wanted to make sure that he will not disappoint Onew.
They were halfway through the left hand chords of the song when Onew decided to accompany Minho’s chords with the right hand notes. That’s when things started to get confusing. Minho kept making a mistake on a certain part. Onew was clicking his tongue repeatedly and more frequently. Minho wanted to shout at Onew to stop doing that because he can’t concentrate with Onew pressuring him. But he chose to shut up.
“Fuck, Minho! A flat, after the D flat! A flat, A flat, A fucking fucktard FLAT,” shouted Onew.
Minho tried to play the part again but failed. Onew smashed the keys beneath him, making a scary sound, while Minho flinched away from him.
“FLAT. NOT SHARP! FLAT, FLAT, FLAT. FLAT LIKE YOUR FUCKING ASS!” said Onew, his voice shaking with annoyance.
“I’m sorry, I’ll j-just t-t-try a-again,” said Minho in a strangled voice. He felt the corners of his eyes welling up with tears as he swallowed the lump in his throat.
Minho’s trembling fingers pressed on the piano keys. He paused on the part where he usually makes a mistake and then pressed on A instead of A flat. Minho prepared himself for another smash by Onew but it didn’t come. Instead, Onew exhaled deeply.
“That’s enough, Minho. I think we both had enough today. Go home,” said Onew.
Minho looked up at Onew’s glaring eyes and nodded. He moved out of the piano bench and bowed to Onew before taking his things and exited the apartment.
Minho’s POV
It was raining when I left his place. I searched for my umbrella but it seems like I chose this day to forget it at home. I sighed and started to walk under the rain. I felt the lump in my throat return as I remember the look on his face before I left. Onew looks so furious and disappointed. It hurts to know that I disappointed him.
Why can’t I ever do anything right? Why am I such an idiot? My stomach growled in hunger, commanding me to feed him. But I ignored it. I thought someone was actually seeing the other side of me. I thought that someone was actually looking beyond my reputation as a loser and seeing me in a different light. Sure, I was close to convincing him that I’m more that what people see but I ruined it all. I ruined it with my stupidity. I wanted to disappear because I’m obviously just a waste of space.
A bus finally came. There weren’t many people on the bus and I’m thankful for that. I didn’t even bother to at least wipe the rain out of my face. As the bus started to move, I felt something hot stream down my face along with the cold droplets of rain.
Jeez, now I’m crying?
Is he really that important to me that I would cry over disappointing him? I just met him yesterday. Well, I’ve known him since middle school but I just got to talk to him properly yesterday but I think I’m starting to like him just a bit. I’m not supposed to be like this, right?
I’m a guy and I shouldn’t be developing feelings towards another guy. Besides, Onew wouldn’t really like me back. He’s like an untouchable celebrity. Yes, he kissed me yesterday while I was sleeping. But who knows? It might just be one of his jokes.
It’s funny how I was so happy just hours ago while staring at him during our motorcycle ride and now I’m crying because of him. Yes, news flash, people, I’m crying…uncontrollably. I feel like such a failure. I failed to help him in English yesterday and I failed to be a good student.
Why are you doing this to me, Onew? Why are you messing up my feelings? Why did you even kiss me? You're not supposed to mean this much to me in just a short period of time. I fell too fast, didn't I? I'm eating my words now. I swore that I would rather stare at my grandpa's rotting face. But now I'm regretting making his perfect face scrunch up in anger and disappointment.
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