I am writing this letter knowing that you might never read it, knowing you will probably never even know about it...but it's just something that I have to do.  I wish more than anything that I wasn't such a coward so that I could just tell you ( Read more... )

I feel so foolish.  He just took and took and left nothing.  When I needed him most, he balked.

Now I feel like I'm holding my breath, waiting for the moment when I can finally exhale.  The hurt from the disappointment is choking me and I want to cry, but I'm afraid I won't stop.  I want to talk about it, but I know that my anger will take hold ( Read more... )

i hate myself right now.  i just feel like i'm not me.  like everything is just wrong.  i need to make changes. i just don't know where to begin.

i am having a love affair with michael buble.  he's so smooth and listening to his voice makes me swoon.  he reminds me of someone just as wonderful, who pretends to be him to make conversation with me.

the bee needs to stop being so darn great.  how could i ever get over him if he keeps smiling the way he does, and he talks to me the way he does ( Read more... )

my love life is so messed up it's not even funny.  well it's so stupid, it's funny. ahh.

i don't know what the hell i'm doing.  i think i'm just gonna stay single forever.  this whole thing is driving me insane.

i did a lot of thinking today on my way home, and i realized a lot of things about my feelings for him.

i feel like i'm trapped with him and it's not really fair. i don't want to start shaking when i see him or when i talk to him. i don't want to have to make excuses to people, or keep telling people we're just friends. it's driving me crazy, and ( Read more... )

i made a big mistake last week. sometimes, i just get hella stupid, i don't think straight. all that's resolved now.

the bee is leaving. i wanted to get over him, and i prayed very hard for it, and now i have a chance to.  but i dont know why i'm so sad.

i wanted to blog about this, but i can't. it's too sad.

i wanted to update because i love my new layout. angelina is so hot.

anyway, i blogged on myspace, so i don't really have anything to say, except that i feel kinda sad. i can't pinpoint why, but i am. i guess i'm scared too, i dont know what it is.  it could be because of my mom, it could be because school's staring soon, it could be about my ( Read more... )

i just wanted to mention some resolutions i have for this year.

1) REMEMBER MY BEST FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY.

2) return phone calls or pick up the phone once in awhile

3) watch temper. i had a lot of nosebleeds this year.

4) straight a's

5) exercise

6) fulfill resolutions

7) get over the bee

( bored as heck )

i hate the holiday season.  this one, most especially.  it was so depressing for me.  for the first time in my life, i couldn't wait to go home and get into bed and just lay there and stare at the wall. i wanted to crawl under a rock and be away from life.  i'm pretty sure everyone noticed that i was aloof, and now i feel so bad about it.

i'm not ( Read more... )