i havent updated this thing in 19 weeks. thats almost 5 months. and it has been the fastest paced five months of my life as of yet. so we will go back ( Read more... )

hmmm maybe a lot changes when you lose someone you love...but you know. losing friends hurts too. especially when you never liked the person that supposivly is making them lose you...shes my best friend [one of] and i never thought that something of this nature would happen because of a fucking jackass that i pretty much have always not liked. i ( Read more... )

hmmm so it seems like i never update this thing...and i dont. i have a lot going on buddies. life is going by so fast i dont know how im keeping up but i guess lacking much of a social life helps with time issues...but not with feeling issues. im happy but i need amanda time. and one day a week for like two hours doesnt qualify. one of my best ( Read more... )

ok so i really dont know what i feel...this guy likes me a lot...but he bearly knows me. im just being a teenager and trying to figure everything out... its like im on layaway...i need to be convinced this is what i want. that this is what i need even though it doesnt feel like it is. im not sure how i feel...and i wish i knew. because this is the ( Read more... )

so i was right. subconcious and unaware...except this time about this other guy. but thats over and a new chapter has yet to be written. this summer is going by so fast this is the first week i have been home thus far andi have been trying to see as many people as possible i havent been home for more then like 3 hours [besides sleeping] in one day ( Read more... )

postive things ( Read more... )

i hate being so unsatisfied....well unpridictable. one minute im laughing the next minute im balling its like im bipolar but only because of whats going on but what IS going on because i dont even know. every rose has its thorn. it does. how can i want something soooooooooooooooooooo bad but it being near impossible to acheive what i REALLY want... ( Read more... )

the cows hate kayla ( Read more... )

i hate the female days the days u just wanna go shopping or hang out with friends i hate the days that you want to go out in public but you feel so filthy you dont want to your ashamed of who you are your ashamed of what you look like you cant stand what you were forced to put up with you hate what life your parents made for you i hate how i live ( Read more... )

christmas time is such a happy season yet very sad at the same time when i feel like i am very lucky and gratefull i get sad because i think of all the kids that are greatfull for what they have when they have almost nothing i think of how im so sad when i have EVERYthing i could possibly ever want and so much more... i have a car and im not even ( Read more... )