R | Handle With Care
So, good news, bad news kinda night. In a series of unfortunate events, Richard Dreyfus has once again ruined my night. Long story short, he's in town for a mini film festival and last night he told the crowd that we're not preparing our children in knowing enough about civics and we're all going to hell for it. Tonight he said the internet will either "Save our souls or send us straight to hell." So, yeah. He's a pompous jackass, who obviously likes to hear himself talk and talk and talk. He didn't answer a single question asked of him and instead talked about a subject that was barely relative to whatever was asked. As such, we were stuck at the movie theater until 11:30, when I thought we'd be done at 10. My evening plans of hanging with good friends, watching UFC, and drinking, were all foiled since we didn't get home until midnight and I wasn't going to drive out then when everyone was already drunk.
GOOD NEWS! This is really for you. Because while Richard Dreyfus has ruined my evening, he's blessed yours by making me stay in and write.
Title: Handle With Care
Words: ~1,300
Rating: PGish
Summary: Wherein Jensen does Jared a solid and encourages baby animals.
Notes: Because it was requested by cherrymmm
The day after the hamster incident, Jensen decides to do Jared a solid and encourage baby animal loving. So he drags Jared out of the Ackles’ guest house, out the front door, and into his rental without any idea of what they’re up to. He just smirks and drives, ignoring all of Jared’s rambly, childish questions about where they’re going (Jensen’s not telling), how long they’ll be (most the day, calm down), how long’s the ride (we’ll get there, jeez, if he’s dressed appropriately (with a fairly embarrassing plaid shirt and distressed jeans, Jensen insists it’s perfect), are they getting lunch first …
It finally stops when Jensen stops at a gas station about half forty five minutes outside of town to refill on coffee and take a quick piss. Even while it’s bordering on lunchtime, he levels Jared with a flat face as they enter the gas station shop. “We’re going to eat afterward. Don’t worry.”
“Dude, I’m starved now. Just some chips.”
“No, because with you, “just some chips” means a whole tube of Pringles and a bag of Chex Mix.”
Jared chuckles and eyes a few items on the shelves of the snack shop. “Chex Mix is not chips, so you’re not so wrong there.”
“Just, trust me, alright?” Jensen asks nicely and with a bit of a smile. “Just wait to eat until after. We’ll go somewhere good for lunch.”
With a small wince, Jared finally nods and lets Jensen do his business.
When Jensen exits the snack shop, unloaded from a trip to the bathroom and fully loaded and ready with a large coffee, he sighs and tips his head back. Eyes on the sky, he mumbles, “This will only end badly.”
“Wha?” Jared mumbles around a mouthful of … something that likely includes chocolate based on the brownness of the mush he’s chewing.
“I told you - ” Then Jensen stops, chuckles, and walks right to the car with Jared falling in step beside him. “Whatever, never mind. It’ll be your own fault you didn’t trust me.”
“What? What’re we doing?” Jared asks, and continues on while they get into the car. “Where we going? Can’t tell me anything?”
*
Jensen wonders if blindfolding Jared would’ve done any good. Just so he didn’t have to hear the loud laugh pierce the cab of the car once Jared noticed they were pulling up to a farm.
“Aces, dude!” he calls out happily as they exit the car.
He levels Jared with a concerned look and then puts hands to Jared’s chest so they stop in the parking lot. “Alright, here’re the rules. We go, look at whatever. Spend all day here. I don’t care. But no, and I mean absolutely no animals are leaving with us.”
Jared smirks and grabs hold of Jensen’s shoulders. “You are, like, the best roommate I’ve ever had.”
“What’s the competition? Me and Chad?” Jensen scoffs.
They make rounds through the farm, one an old high school friend’s family owns, and the guy gives them a quick tour but trusts Jensen enough to leave them on their own. Jared’s excited over the pigs, even though they’re mostly full grown and covered in filth, snorting their way through their pens. He leans over chicken wire and bawks at all the roosters and hens, going so far as to strut back and forth along the barrier, making Jensen laugh a little but more than he had planned. He goes so far as to try to mount a cow - okay, he really wasn’t going to, and it was for shits and giggles, getting any staff in the area to laugh with him. And they did. Even Jensen did, letting Jared have this fun without any reprimands.
Jared seems absolutely thrilled with the whole thing, and he gets even more excited when they march into the horse stables and visit a handful of mares. He strokes his hand down all their noses, feels hair flitter between his fingers, and coos them all with pretty lady and lovely little girl whenever he feels.
Then Jensen directs him to the extension of the stable, where most of the workers are surrounding a particularly uncomfortable horse. He murmurs to Jared as they get closer, “She’s birthing.”
Jared’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. Soon enough, though, it spreads wide, dimples piercing his cheeks and making Jensen smile right back.
They get closer and watch everyone get to work. One farmhand is stroking the mare’s head while a few others focus on trying to get her comfortably to her side. Jared and Jensen are both feeling nervous while the mare’s hind are giving way, shaking and bending, and the crew helps her down with a thud. Jared’s hand scratches through his hair and he’s frowning, but Jensen pats a hand at his back. “It’s fine. They do this stuff every day.”
“They birth every day?” he asks with a dead tone.
“Well, no,” Jensen frowns at Jared while he watches the horse settle on its side and shake its head to and fro. “I just mean, like, a lot more than we do.”
“How many times’ve you experienced a horse birth?” Jared challenges.
Jensen crosses his arms and keeps watching the miracle just ten feet away. “Two? Three?”
Jared turns to him. “Really?”
He nods a little then points in front of them. His says in quiet wonder, “Here it comes.”
They stare as two slim sticks for legs find their way out of the mama horse and into the air. Seconds later, more is being pushed through and everyone sees about fifty percent of the animal sliding out and onto hay. Then the shoulders are being pushed out, followed by the head and front legs. It’s literally seconds for the whole thing and the mama seems to be infinitely more comfortable as she looks over hers shoulder and onto her foal, slicked all over with inner fluids but doing its damnedest to sit up.
Jensen’s smirking, feeling for the third - maybe fourth time in his life - all the gracious emotions of watching a live birth. And he keeps the content emotions as he looks over to Jared, whose face is curling down. “You okay?”
Jared swallows hard.
The workers are moving around the mama and baby in a very organized way, but enough to care with the animals. Jensen’s still smiling at how easily they mind the completely slicked-up foal, as if it isn’t completely gelled over with mucus.
He swallows hard again, and his breathing gets more obvious, chest rising high then dropping low while his eyelids drop and he frowns.
“You okay?” Jensen asks again, but a little more worried this time with a hand at Jared’s back.
Jared’s breath catches, then he turns and races around the corner. His hand grasps the doorway as he leans into the main part of the stable and empties his stomach of the Twix, Combos, and Monster he’d inhaled at the gas station just an hour or so earlier.
Jensen winces and waits until all the retching is done. Which takes a few minutes. Jared shuffles back into the area, leaning his forehead against the door jamb. Jensen moves closer rubbing at Jared’s back again. “I told you not to eat before.”
His voice is rough for obvious reasons, and he sounds kind of pathetic, too. “You knew we’d see that?”
“Yeah,” he smirks. “I thought you’d like seeing the baby.”
Jared pushes his palm against the doorway, now resting his temple against the back of his hand as he takes a look around the room. “Yeah, but it’s like …” Then his eyes land on the foal again, now standing and being graced by its mama. But it’s still pretty slimed, mucus everywhere and clouding the silky black coat its mama has handed down. He closes his eyes, turns away, and heaves again, but nothing comes. He’s thankful for that.
As is Jensen, made obvious by his heavy sigh and awkward smile while he rubs at Jared’s back. “I thought it’d be better. After choking out the hamster? Seeing a larger baby you wouldn’t have to worry about killing.”
He sighs and finally looks back at Jensen. “I think I need some water.”
Jensen flinches at his breath. “I think you need some mouthwash.”
Bonus Artzes!
Next | Everything Looks Better in Your Hands | Wherein Jensen kind of warms up to the idea of all those baby animals that went through Jared’s hands.
GOOD NEWS! This is really for you. Because while Richard Dreyfus has ruined my evening, he's blessed yours by making me stay in and write.
Title: Handle With Care
Words: ~1,300
Rating: PGish
Summary: Wherein Jensen does Jared a solid and encourages baby animals.
Notes: Because it was requested by cherrymmm
The day after the hamster incident, Jensen decides to do Jared a solid and encourage baby animal loving. So he drags Jared out of the Ackles’ guest house, out the front door, and into his rental without any idea of what they’re up to. He just smirks and drives, ignoring all of Jared’s rambly, childish questions about where they’re going (Jensen’s not telling), how long they’ll be (most the day, calm down), how long’s the ride (we’ll get there, jeez, if he’s dressed appropriately (with a fairly embarrassing plaid shirt and distressed jeans, Jensen insists it’s perfect), are they getting lunch first …
It finally stops when Jensen stops at a gas station about half forty five minutes outside of town to refill on coffee and take a quick piss. Even while it’s bordering on lunchtime, he levels Jared with a flat face as they enter the gas station shop. “We’re going to eat afterward. Don’t worry.”
“Dude, I’m starved now. Just some chips.”
“No, because with you, “just some chips” means a whole tube of Pringles and a bag of Chex Mix.”
Jared chuckles and eyes a few items on the shelves of the snack shop. “Chex Mix is not chips, so you’re not so wrong there.”
“Just, trust me, alright?” Jensen asks nicely and with a bit of a smile. “Just wait to eat until after. We’ll go somewhere good for lunch.”
With a small wince, Jared finally nods and lets Jensen do his business.
When Jensen exits the snack shop, unloaded from a trip to the bathroom and fully loaded and ready with a large coffee, he sighs and tips his head back. Eyes on the sky, he mumbles, “This will only end badly.”
“Wha?” Jared mumbles around a mouthful of … something that likely includes chocolate based on the brownness of the mush he’s chewing.
“I told you - ” Then Jensen stops, chuckles, and walks right to the car with Jared falling in step beside him. “Whatever, never mind. It’ll be your own fault you didn’t trust me.”
“What? What’re we doing?” Jared asks, and continues on while they get into the car. “Where we going? Can’t tell me anything?”
*
Jensen wonders if blindfolding Jared would’ve done any good. Just so he didn’t have to hear the loud laugh pierce the cab of the car once Jared noticed they were pulling up to a farm.
“Aces, dude!” he calls out happily as they exit the car.
He levels Jared with a concerned look and then puts hands to Jared’s chest so they stop in the parking lot. “Alright, here’re the rules. We go, look at whatever. Spend all day here. I don’t care. But no, and I mean absolutely no animals are leaving with us.”
Jared smirks and grabs hold of Jensen’s shoulders. “You are, like, the best roommate I’ve ever had.”
“What’s the competition? Me and Chad?” Jensen scoffs.
They make rounds through the farm, one an old high school friend’s family owns, and the guy gives them a quick tour but trusts Jensen enough to leave them on their own. Jared’s excited over the pigs, even though they’re mostly full grown and covered in filth, snorting their way through their pens. He leans over chicken wire and bawks at all the roosters and hens, going so far as to strut back and forth along the barrier, making Jensen laugh a little but more than he had planned. He goes so far as to try to mount a cow - okay, he really wasn’t going to, and it was for shits and giggles, getting any staff in the area to laugh with him. And they did. Even Jensen did, letting Jared have this fun without any reprimands.
Jared seems absolutely thrilled with the whole thing, and he gets even more excited when they march into the horse stables and visit a handful of mares. He strokes his hand down all their noses, feels hair flitter between his fingers, and coos them all with pretty lady and lovely little girl whenever he feels.
Then Jensen directs him to the extension of the stable, where most of the workers are surrounding a particularly uncomfortable horse. He murmurs to Jared as they get closer, “She’s birthing.”
Jared’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. Soon enough, though, it spreads wide, dimples piercing his cheeks and making Jensen smile right back.
They get closer and watch everyone get to work. One farmhand is stroking the mare’s head while a few others focus on trying to get her comfortably to her side. Jared and Jensen are both feeling nervous while the mare’s hind are giving way, shaking and bending, and the crew helps her down with a thud. Jared’s hand scratches through his hair and he’s frowning, but Jensen pats a hand at his back. “It’s fine. They do this stuff every day.”
“They birth every day?” he asks with a dead tone.
“Well, no,” Jensen frowns at Jared while he watches the horse settle on its side and shake its head to and fro. “I just mean, like, a lot more than we do.”
“How many times’ve you experienced a horse birth?” Jared challenges.
Jensen crosses his arms and keeps watching the miracle just ten feet away. “Two? Three?”
Jared turns to him. “Really?”
He nods a little then points in front of them. His says in quiet wonder, “Here it comes.”
They stare as two slim sticks for legs find their way out of the mama horse and into the air. Seconds later, more is being pushed through and everyone sees about fifty percent of the animal sliding out and onto hay. Then the shoulders are being pushed out, followed by the head and front legs. It’s literally seconds for the whole thing and the mama seems to be infinitely more comfortable as she looks over hers shoulder and onto her foal, slicked all over with inner fluids but doing its damnedest to sit up.
Jensen’s smirking, feeling for the third - maybe fourth time in his life - all the gracious emotions of watching a live birth. And he keeps the content emotions as he looks over to Jared, whose face is curling down. “You okay?”
Jared swallows hard.
The workers are moving around the mama and baby in a very organized way, but enough to care with the animals. Jensen’s still smiling at how easily they mind the completely slicked-up foal, as if it isn’t completely gelled over with mucus.
He swallows hard again, and his breathing gets more obvious, chest rising high then dropping low while his eyelids drop and he frowns.
“You okay?” Jensen asks again, but a little more worried this time with a hand at Jared’s back.
Jared’s breath catches, then he turns and races around the corner. His hand grasps the doorway as he leans into the main part of the stable and empties his stomach of the Twix, Combos, and Monster he’d inhaled at the gas station just an hour or so earlier.
Jensen winces and waits until all the retching is done. Which takes a few minutes. Jared shuffles back into the area, leaning his forehead against the door jamb. Jensen moves closer rubbing at Jared’s back again. “I told you not to eat before.”
His voice is rough for obvious reasons, and he sounds kind of pathetic, too. “You knew we’d see that?”
“Yeah,” he smirks. “I thought you’d like seeing the baby.”
Jared pushes his palm against the doorway, now resting his temple against the back of his hand as he takes a look around the room. “Yeah, but it’s like …” Then his eyes land on the foal again, now standing and being graced by its mama. But it’s still pretty slimed, mucus everywhere and clouding the silky black coat its mama has handed down. He closes his eyes, turns away, and heaves again, but nothing comes. He’s thankful for that.
As is Jensen, made obvious by his heavy sigh and awkward smile while he rubs at Jared’s back. “I thought it’d be better. After choking out the hamster? Seeing a larger baby you wouldn’t have to worry about killing.”
He sighs and finally looks back at Jensen. “I think I need some water.”
Jensen flinches at his breath. “I think you need some mouthwash.”
Bonus Artzes!
Next | Everything Looks Better in Your Hands | Wherein Jensen kind of warms up to the idea of all those baby animals that went through Jared’s hands.