Witches and dragons and lollipops and golden keys and Stuff.
I don't know where all this stuff comes from.
So I was working with the Witch of Basic Baking. She was teaching me how to make the usual things - spider biscuits, ice cream cone witches hats, and so on. We were trying to make some pasta when she realised I hadn't brought the right ingredients, so in punishment she sent me on a quest to find five lollipops from five different strange characters within her grounds - I can only remember the name of the second person, which was The Piscene. Walking out her front door I discovered asrana, whose dad had just driven up to take her out for a weekend. We hugged, I shook hands with her dad, and then I set off down the garden to the ancient temple (now a goth club and bar) at the end of it.
On walking in, I saw a seven foot woman in a pink vinyl minidress, holding a fishing rod. Assuming this was The Piscene, I walked up to her and asked "Excuse me, do you have an official title?" She thought for a while and then shook her head, so I told her she was very beautiful and carried on downstairs. On arriving on the basement floor - where I expected to find the woman with the fifth lollipop - I discovered that she wasn't there, and there followed some random nonsense with zotz, deliberateblank and a pool table. Just as things were starting to look sane, the ground shook and I remembered the dragon that had been terrorising the town. And that I was the town champion and had to fight it. So I ran out of the temple and back down the garden into the village, where I was stopped by James Nesbitt, who was hysterical because his children were trapped in his house. I hurried to his house - which, dolls' house-like, had a removable front which had at this time been removed - to find a couple of local builders' sons trying to find the kids. I, of course, knew where they were, so I tore up the stairs to find them, and find them I did - the baby, which I handed to one of the builders, and the two boys, who woke up, stumbled out of bed, each shrieked "I've got no pants on!" and ran away. So much for that.
Back on the ground floor, and the dragon - which was one with a female human head, incidentally - was coming back. Through the space where the front door would have been bursts a little old lady brandishing an enormous tacky silver sword, shrieking "You lot don't know nothing about fighting dragons! Why, in my day we'd fight a dragon every day before breakfast and think nothing of it! Oh well, I s'pose it's up to me, then," and without waiting for a response, hobbling out to meet the dragon. As the dragon approached, the old lady took a swing at it and cut off its head - which promptly regrew onto the body of an extremely pissed off dragon, coming round again for another try. The old lady ran away, leaving the sword to me - and lo, I took it up, and lo, upon the dragon's return I did smite it mightily, and it actually died this time.
And then I woke up.
Can't remember all of it (by any means) but here are some flashes to show you how random it was...
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Sitting on the attic floor writing messages for dennyd in Christmas cards, and into some of the envelopes slipping a golden key. I know how the game works - this is going to be my only contact with him while he plays it, so I'm trying to think of things to say that aren't "If you're reading this then you're not dead yet, thank christ" but I'm having difficulty. Carefully writing "One", "Two", "Three" and so on on the respective envelopes in green metallic gel pen, and wondering how he'll manage the quest with Andrew Ridgeley (the other one) as his sidekick.
--------------------
Watching dennyd on the quest; for some reason it involved dressing up in stolen Rugby kit and hiding on the stairs of the boys' changing rooms at some college or other. Swinging over the stair rail, dennyd does his right leg some damage. Just as well it wasn't already broken in my dream...
--------------------
More quest, this time in the attic I was sitting in, willing him to see the tiny keyhole in the ceiling which is where he has to put the key he found last time in order to get the box of Stuff and one more key. He sees it, and Andrew brings across a stepladder; on turning the key, half the ceiling falls in, bringing boxes of Christmas decorations down with it, but the one box, the important one, falls on dennyd's head. Later, they sit examining its contents - mostly bags of sugar and raisins - and dennyd opens the cards I've left him. The camera pans round and I see him staring at the text in the "Three" card : "Denny? If leg injury, then no more us." It's not signed and I didn't write it. I'm sure I panicked, but I can't remember what happened then, so flash forward to...
--------------------
Walking the South Downs as (not with) mrph; I turned a corner and found myself in an idyllic setting; a snow leopard cub gambolling playfully with a tiny roe deer, a mole crawling around looking more like a beanbag than anything else, a giant ostrich, all sorts of things. I stayed there for a while. It was nice. That's all.
--------------------
Having woken up (in my mind) and realised what an odd dream I'd been having, I went in to tell my nan about it, to discover that my aunt and uncle were visiting for supper. My aunt was still my aunt (she's the blood relative, I feel I must state in this post) but my uncle was someone entirely different, who looked vaguely like my aunt, only male (obviously), six foot two and absolutely beautiful. In my dream (if it reflected reality I wouldn't be writing about it...) I'd had a crush on him for years, and so when he and my aunt and my nan disappeared into the back garden to sit in an old car and drink tea (really) I sulked indoors. Suddenly the French windows opened and my uncle came back in; he came and sat on the floor with me, and seemed to have something on his mind. I've no idea what it was, as before I knew anything else he was attempting to draw blood from my neck. I should be more disturbed by this than I am, but by this point he'd turned into some cross between a wood nymph (his skin was metallic green and his eyes were gold) and lzz so I didn't really mind. We were getting fairly inappropriate when my aunt walked in, but she didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, so I wandered off to fix my hair.
And then I woke up. I think.
So I was working with the Witch of Basic Baking. She was teaching me how to make the usual things - spider biscuits, ice cream cone witches hats, and so on. We were trying to make some pasta when she realised I hadn't brought the right ingredients, so in punishment she sent me on a quest to find five lollipops from five different strange characters within her grounds - I can only remember the name of the second person, which was The Piscene. Walking out her front door I discovered asrana, whose dad had just driven up to take her out for a weekend. We hugged, I shook hands with her dad, and then I set off down the garden to the ancient temple (now a goth club and bar) at the end of it.
On walking in, I saw a seven foot woman in a pink vinyl minidress, holding a fishing rod. Assuming this was The Piscene, I walked up to her and asked "Excuse me, do you have an official title?" She thought for a while and then shook her head, so I told her she was very beautiful and carried on downstairs. On arriving on the basement floor - where I expected to find the woman with the fifth lollipop - I discovered that she wasn't there, and there followed some random nonsense with zotz, deliberateblank and a pool table. Just as things were starting to look sane, the ground shook and I remembered the dragon that had been terrorising the town. And that I was the town champion and had to fight it. So I ran out of the temple and back down the garden into the village, where I was stopped by James Nesbitt, who was hysterical because his children were trapped in his house. I hurried to his house - which, dolls' house-like, had a removable front which had at this time been removed - to find a couple of local builders' sons trying to find the kids. I, of course, knew where they were, so I tore up the stairs to find them, and find them I did - the baby, which I handed to one of the builders, and the two boys, who woke up, stumbled out of bed, each shrieked "I've got no pants on!" and ran away. So much for that.
Back on the ground floor, and the dragon - which was one with a female human head, incidentally - was coming back. Through the space where the front door would have been bursts a little old lady brandishing an enormous tacky silver sword, shrieking "You lot don't know nothing about fighting dragons! Why, in my day we'd fight a dragon every day before breakfast and think nothing of it! Oh well, I s'pose it's up to me, then," and without waiting for a response, hobbling out to meet the dragon. As the dragon approached, the old lady took a swing at it and cut off its head - which promptly regrew onto the body of an extremely pissed off dragon, coming round again for another try. The old lady ran away, leaving the sword to me - and lo, I took it up, and lo, upon the dragon's return I did smite it mightily, and it actually died this time.
And then I woke up.
Can't remember all of it (by any means) but here are some flashes to show you how random it was...
--------------------
Sitting on the attic floor writing messages for dennyd in Christmas cards, and into some of the envelopes slipping a golden key. I know how the game works - this is going to be my only contact with him while he plays it, so I'm trying to think of things to say that aren't "If you're reading this then you're not dead yet, thank christ" but I'm having difficulty. Carefully writing "One", "Two", "Three" and so on on the respective envelopes in green metallic gel pen, and wondering how he'll manage the quest with Andrew Ridgeley (the other one) as his sidekick.
--------------------
Watching dennyd on the quest; for some reason it involved dressing up in stolen Rugby kit and hiding on the stairs of the boys' changing rooms at some college or other. Swinging over the stair rail, dennyd does his right leg some damage. Just as well it wasn't already broken in my dream...
--------------------
More quest, this time in the attic I was sitting in, willing him to see the tiny keyhole in the ceiling which is where he has to put the key he found last time in order to get the box of Stuff and one more key. He sees it, and Andrew brings across a stepladder; on turning the key, half the ceiling falls in, bringing boxes of Christmas decorations down with it, but the one box, the important one, falls on dennyd's head. Later, they sit examining its contents - mostly bags of sugar and raisins - and dennyd opens the cards I've left him. The camera pans round and I see him staring at the text in the "Three" card : "Denny? If leg injury, then no more us." It's not signed and I didn't write it. I'm sure I panicked, but I can't remember what happened then, so flash forward to...
--------------------
Walking the South Downs as (not with) mrph; I turned a corner and found myself in an idyllic setting; a snow leopard cub gambolling playfully with a tiny roe deer, a mole crawling around looking more like a beanbag than anything else, a giant ostrich, all sorts of things. I stayed there for a while. It was nice. That's all.
--------------------
Having woken up (in my mind) and realised what an odd dream I'd been having, I went in to tell my nan about it, to discover that my aunt and uncle were visiting for supper. My aunt was still my aunt (she's the blood relative, I feel I must state in this post) but my uncle was someone entirely different, who looked vaguely like my aunt, only male (obviously), six foot two and absolutely beautiful. In my dream (if it reflected reality I wouldn't be writing about it...) I'd had a crush on him for years, and so when he and my aunt and my nan disappeared into the back garden to sit in an old car and drink tea (really) I sulked indoors. Suddenly the French windows opened and my uncle came back in; he came and sat on the floor with me, and seemed to have something on his mind. I've no idea what it was, as before I knew anything else he was attempting to draw blood from my neck. I should be more disturbed by this than I am, but by this point he'd turned into some cross between a wood nymph (his skin was metallic green and his eyes were gold) and lzz so I didn't really mind. We were getting fairly inappropriate when my aunt walked in, but she didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, so I wandered off to fix my hair.
And then I woke up. I think.