My Blog Has Moved

Due to the heavy advertising on this site, I have decided after 4 years to move my BLOG. If it does not work out I might be back here but for now please go to:https://mrdvmp.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/party-hats-da-

Due to the heavy advertising on LIVE JOURNAL, I have decided after 4 years to move my BLOG. If it does not work out I might be back here but for know please go to:

http://mrdvmp.wordpress.com/

Thank you Live Journalers... hope to see you at the new digs.

I’m not sure of the exact date back in High School that I met my friend Allyson, but I do know that she has yet to forgiven me for telling her that day that she had excellent hips for ‘birthing’. Although I still manage to shove my foot deep into my mouth on a frequent basis, I have gained enough insight into the female psyche to understand why ( Read more... )

Attention readers… if you work for the Army Corp Of Engineers, the Texas Bureau of Parks and Wildlife or any land conservation group, either stop reading immediately or rest comfortably knowing that all the crazy stuff I write about could never happen to one person so obviously it must all be fiction… right ( Read more... )

Yesterday I discovered a photo of myself online taken a couple of months ago at the Dallas launch party for the 2011 Porsche Cayenne. No, I was not there shopping for a $70,000 sporty SUV. The likelihood of me buying that car is less then the chance I’ll get a transgender operation and legally change my name to Daneilla - Goddess Of The Papaya ( Read more... )

She might be a ‘social media’ wizard now, but I have known my friend Madeline since my first year of High School. Nicknamed Saint Madeline when I met her, she was a seemingly straight-laced book-wormish sort of girl with slight Latino features and solid 14K gold glasses that contrasted with her long black hair. She usually wore earthy flowing ( Read more... )

I love asparagus and not just because the spears are fun to throw or that they look like creepy armless aliens or even that I’m one of those people whose urine smells funny after eating it (although that is a kinda’ cool fringe benefit). No, I just like the taste of the stuff (asparagus, not urine). I don’t have it much because its not my wife’s ( Read more... )

Sometimes I have pack-rat tendencies. My wife does too. Don’t worry, our house is nothing like an episode of Hoarders but we do have a rather scary full storeroom. For the first 38 years of my life I could brag that everything I own could fit into a car pulling the smallest U-Haul attachable trailer (and several times it did). Of course since most ( Read more... )

I am not a big fan of diets. Besides the fact that diets keep me away from some of life’s greatest experiences (bacon, beer and burgers), they also always seem doomed to fail for someone like me that rapidly gets bored with practicing self-discipline. So for the past few decades whenever the number on my scale starts creeping over the sum of the ( Read more... )

I was looking in the mirror the other morning when the thought hit me that a lot of religions have bible stories about some magically ‘refilling’ miracle. You know the ones I’m talking about. Where there is not enough of something but somehow more spontaneously appears and prolongs the supply well past its expected depletion ( Read more... )