Why is it the time you have the most to say is the time you can't say it . Oh yeah my head hurts-

So I havent updated for the mere fact, when I get on and check others LJ I have to read my last entry and because im lazy. But I update today to tell of how God is truely a King a Divine Lover, Protecter... The first half of the year was so hard on my heart. Satan was seriously was pulling your mom just died card and I felt hate and lack of ( Read more... )

I have time to grow become an adult and fall in love. But I am constanly pushing myself towards this somthing. I dont even push with my schooling or something that seems worth while. I tend to try at pointless friendships, they are stuck and Im tired of trying. I seem to force myself to correct everything about myself but it fails painfully and ( Read more... )

I have alot of sadness "hatred" in my heart. I feel tortured often by my mind and its offenses against me and others. I have a heart that is torn between God and people. I have a relationship that has been the best thing for me but at the wrong time? So what is the right thing to do? I want to live for God but end up saying "hold on a second I just ( Read more... )

Is the constant state of frustration normal, does your body really need to be tense 24/7? Does spanish classes really matter? Either way what is real is that my mom had been gone for 2months today. I realized that my want for people to be there for me is useless because they could'nt help me anyways. I realized that I still have joy in my heart ( Read more... )

What is the best thing to do, who is the best person to turn to? When do I get to understand God? Hmmm, Does it matter that I am confused? I know His love, I know His promises. This I will hold close and remember.

So I am thinking that my last post was a bit of a depressing one. After that little spill of uncontrolable emotions I recieved what was a beautiful vase with purple tulips and a bear hugging them both. I wish I could hold on to that surprise and it make me happy forever ( Read more... )

I said I wasnt going to get back on here, Its ugly and It is harder for me to operate than xanga, Im a loser ( Read more... )

So it seems that I have left the wonderful world of LJ and moved on to xanga. This event I know is tragic but to thoughs who have used both just might understand why I have choose this. To all that pass by my little nook, know that you are invited to dwnward_spiral at xanga. Have a greatnight and this could possibly be my last post on here.

So friday I started out around 6 o'clock p.m to the backwoods town Lynchburg, Tn. Over the weekend they held a b-b-q that is known by a historic figure and beverage, Jack Daniels. My main reason for going was my family. My Aunt Kim happens to live in Lynchburg and when I was little almost every year my family and I would go down to the b-b-q, and ( Read more... )