Standing on the edge again
pain knows no limits
time heals no wounds

she cannot see,
for fear blinds her
deception entwines her

and reality strikes hard...
        She is not Alive

Kneeling on the edge again
only darkness echos
exsistence disappears

shadows lye beside her
they gently remind her,
of those painful memories

she is a burden,
marked by thoe who are no ( Read more... )

You have to take care of yourself,
But you don't understand.
They tell you you have to be strong.
For her...
But you don't understand

You are just a little girl.
You can't even read.
I'm the one that loves you most,
I don't want your heart to bleed.

You shouldn't have to go through this.
It changes who you are.
I want to take your pain away and lock it in a ( Read more... )

I can't seem to keep up with life anymore,
the world seems to be going 90 miles an hour and I seem to be shutting down.
I desperately want to catch up but my surroundings are quckly crumbling before me.
I am heartbroken to say the least. How can I have lost so much in such a short amount of time?
School has slipped from beneath me and I feel too broken ( Read more... )

I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

A fragile frame aged
Is misery
And when our eyes meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
( Read more... )

Last night Katie Alex Josh and I got alcohol and we went to my house to get drunk. I can't yet bring myself to venture into all that happened last night but I can say that it's left me emptier inside. Why do I do this to myself? I'm so scared that Katie and Alex are going to leave me behind and I'm even scareder that latch on to them and instead ( Read more... )

I'll swallow my tongue
just to erase one kiss
I'll sew my mouth shut
to not feel like this,
I'll bleed on your letter
and empty my vein
I'll consume this sponge
 to soak up your stain,
I'll tear at my skin
with this nail of lust
I'll burn this infection
and watch myself rust,
I'll suck in this air
and fold into death
I'll impail myself
to keep from your breath,
I' ( Read more... )

No more truth. Bells ring no more in me. I am all alone singly. Lonely rests my head. Oh God... I am dead.


( Read more... )

Today was just overall depressing. I could barely move from my bed to my bedroom floor. I don't know why I get like this on Sundays. Maybe it's because Dave and my mom are home all day on Sundays and I feel even more trapped than usual. I don't even feel it would be right if I did go down and try to join them anyway. I wake up and everyone is at JB ( Read more... )

It's been a long time since I've written, I don't really know why. Maybe it's because writing in livejournal makes me deal with what I'm going through and how I feel.

Things have really been a mess lately. Mostly with my parents. I'm in conflict with my dad because I don't want to see him anymore. He's a dad that seems to purposly cause me a lot of ( Read more... )

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||| 42% Intellect ||||||||||||||| 46% Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||| 54% Aggressiveness |||||| 14% Liveliness ||||||||||||||| 46% Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% Social Assertiveness |||||||||||| 38% Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90% Paranoia ( Read more... )