Intricate fear weaves its way. A pounding intruder, barricades cannot contain. Lethal seduction, a body tripping on deceit, like acid to the brain. 

JOY JOURNAL 1ST ENTRY:  GOD HAS IMPRESSED UPON MY HEART TO START A JOY JOURNAL. SINCE I HAVE STARTED SCHOOL MY LIFE AS BEEN SUPER CHAOTIC. I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT ON ENJOYING LIFE BECAUSE I'M NOT TAKING THE TIME TO APPRECIATE ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS GOING ON IN THE MIDST OF MY STRUGGLES. THIS WILL BE A COMPILATION OF LITTLE THINGS TO REMEMBER ( Read more... )

Have you ever been betrayed by a friend, have you ever been used? Have you ever been rejected by your peers, have you ever been bullied for a year? Have you ever been the most unpopular girl in school, have you ever wished to be anyone but you? Have you ever had someone steal your innocence, Have you ever been molested more times than you can count ( Read more... )

I went to my doctor's appointment today and it's been so long since I've been to the doctor for a check up. I was super nervous to go and getting lost trying to find the office didn't help boost my confidence at all. I ended up in the weirdest building aimlessly waundering hallways that were exactly the same, I felt like I was in a bad dream. ( Read more... )

I feel so depressed today and I wish I could pinpoint my anguish but every reason seems to lead to another. Pain is complex and emotionally destructive. This heavyness fell on me today so fast and has only grown since i've gotten home from work. I glimpse at my life right now and don't even feel like I'm living. I try to keep myself busy to keep my ( Read more... )

Overwhelmed, Unprepared, Confused. All these things have blended & made quite an uncomfortable setting in my stomach. Asking for God's help & holding on to faith is all I can do to not just collapse in panick. I'm at a moment where my future is so uncertain & I'm surrounded by a million paths I could take, a million dreams w/o a million dollars to ( Read more... )

Right now I feel as if I'm standing on the edge, I can see my future split and sitting in each palm of my hand. Which one do I choose and how do I know which one is right? I have been working at Assist2Sell for a year and half now and God has been so faithful in providing my needs. Recently an opportunity has come up to go into School of Ministry ( Read more... )

 It took getting real with God to really let the healing process begin. He knows what we need before we even ask but that's just it, some things he wants us to Ask for. Lately I have been struggling with feeling like I continually fail God and I get so discouraged because I want walk righteous before the Lord. For a while I was able to pretend that ( Read more... )

"You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark alone"

"I'm too afraid to show"

"If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to the sea
And I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me...
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
And I don't wanna be
Stranded, stranded, stranded, stranded?

"I can only ( Read more... )

VISIONS OF YOU FLOAT AWAY...

DAY IS BREAKING

UNABLE TO FEEL THE SUN

REASONS FOR BREATHING DWINDLE...

LIFE PASSES THROUGH MY FINGER TIPS

STILLNESS HAS TURNED ME TO RUST

FROZEN BY WHAT DOES NOT EXIST

I HAVE BEEN DECEIVED...

MY IDENTITY HAS LONG BEEN FADED

SEALED THROUGH TONGUES OF WEAKNESS

OVERLAPPED IN SILENT AGREEMENT...

THE ONLY COMFORT COMES THROUGH SADNESS

( Read more... )