Is it getting better or do you feel the same?
2007 in review. Compare and contrast with 2006, if you really want to.
What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Did consistently well in exams. Mathematics research. Dumped someone. Lived in a flat. Slept in the maths department. Lived in the maths department for a while. Got a real, not through parents or anything, job. Became a fixture of a pub, for a while. Gave a talk on maths. Pulled at a party. Deliberately wore a beard for a while. Applied for postgraduate courses. Drank with lecturers. Decided I want to go into research. Actually, I applied for courses that I might actually have a chance at, but which will be competitive. Depended on a mobile phone. Lots of things, really. Read books on maths. Played a tabletop RPG. Made friends with postgraduates and members of staff. Completing expert minesweeper in 121 seconds.
Did you keep new year's resolutions and will you make more next year?
1: Exercise every day [sit-ups]
2: Give up Coke, and, during non-exam periods, all fizzy drinks.
3: To break my habit of doing badly in the semester 1 exams , and, with luck, get the thing I'm hoping for from better results.
4: Update this thing much more regularly
5: Try not to get too hyper
6: Try to be less mopey
Admittedly, all of them are things I always try to do, but I have a hope for 3 of the first 4, for about 6 months or so.
Well, I did the third. The thing I was hoping for was the summer school, which I got. And I did stick with the first few for a few months. So I kept at least one, and followed some for a good while.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my aunt, Rose Ann, to James Alexander Kiehlmann, brother of my god-daughter who is very cute and has a name that I'd been considering for any future son of mine. As well as sharing the J.A.Kiehlmann mantle with me, which had previously been unique to me. Which is rather complimentary, I suppose. [The 'Alexander', which is also my middle name and my dad's, comes from my grandmother's maiden name.]
Did anyone close to you die?
Not finally, no, for the second year running. Something I'm very grateful for. Although my mother has been ill, and isn't ever really going to be the same, [in terms of energy], I don't think, and my dad's arthritis has got a lot worse, and my grandmother has what we think is probably stomach cancer, and we're waiting for a scan. So it's not been a year free from health issues.
What countries did you visit?
England, for a couple of Open days.
What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
That's a very good question. A trite answer is "A fully funded PhD place at Oxford or Imperial College London". Another could be "stability", but, if I'm really honest, I don't know how unstable I am, and how much being more stable would be dull. The last year's been a lot of fun, and has a lot of stories that I'll probably be telling for years to come. A lasting relationship, maybe, but I'm in one which doesn't seem to be not lasting. Health and happiness for everyone I love is really the main thing I'd ask for. But I know I'm not going to get that.
What dates from 2007 will remain etched in your memory and why?
The first half of the year was a massive blur, with so much happening that all the dates blurred into one.
The time on the summer school was great, the first time in years I've felt truly happy.
6th of September. One day, I'm going to have to tell some girl "I haven't felt that good since James McFadden scored against France in 2007". That was a beautiful goal.
13-15th of September, which was one of the most painful times in my life, when someone I'd considered one of my best friends, Rix, got together with my ex, Pamela, who I'd dumped after a very stressful period in my life when we were in a place were it wasn't working, who I still loved very very much, on a date which was pretty bad timing for me. Pretty much the whole thing was my fault, I know, and I really do miss my friendship with Rixy. But it was too painful to see him, talk to him anymore. In fact, I didn't see him between then and ...
2nd of November, when I bashed my head in.
9th of November, my 21st.
3rd December, when I sent my Oxford Application in.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably my exams - I did extremely well with a few of them, getting 19.8 and 19.6 in Topics in Groups and Lie Algebras, both Masters level courses, which has put me on a current credit-weighted mean of 18.7. Which has a fair bit to do with the fact that I actually seem to be the sort of person many people would like to have as a PhD student.
Surviving first semester of my final year, too, is pretty big - this last semester's been very tough. Basically, largely as a result of my stupidity in the first half, I'd pretty much lost a lot of my support network, and all the fighting with Pamela was bad. I wish we didn't fight so much. It's funny, I forgot how good she made me feel until I read last year's review.
But a big achievement, too, was being with her for so long. I'm not saying this as someone who can't move on, I just can't help looking back on the time we had as something which was great. I really miss the closeness we had. And that sounds so angsty, but I'm not saying that whilst feeling down. I mean, I genuinely do grieve what we had, but I just remember it fondly.
Actually, the fact I now seem to genuinely have many friends is a good thing. I seem to have more friends than ever before. I guess that can only be good.
What were your biggest failures this year?
Dumping Pamela, hurting her massively has to stand out as one of them. Losing a lot of friends as a result of how things have panned out, too. Failing to actually complete the summer research and write it up, even now, is big. Not getting as much work as I might've liked on my dissertation done last semester, which was probably my lightest, academically speaking.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I still throw up a lot, get headaches, and colds a lot, but don't let them stop me.
Injurywise, the time I was feeling depressed and decided to stave off suicidal impulses by going to look at the sea, tried to jump over a gap in the rocks and woke up bleeding from the head in the sea must rank highly. Also, a great story to tell people. But I wasn't that injured: I had two-five stitches in my head (no one ever agreed on how many), but otherwise was utterly fine, aside from being mentally shaken for a while, from the moment, four hours in, when the adrenaline was wearing off and I realised how close I'd come to dying.
What was the best thing you bought?
My shiny new Creative Gigaworks T20 speakers, my DKNY glasses, Annie Hall or my used copy of A Course in the Theory of Groups.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Everyone for putting up with me, Pamela for loving me while she did, Sophie for going out with me despite everything, Tony for asking me to give a postgraduate seminar, Steven Moffat for writing Blink, Nicholas, without who I'd have never got to this stage where I'm pretty sure of getting into a PhD course at a good university, and everyone for being there.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, myself, largely. A couple of others made me depressed, but that was my own fault.
What did you spend most of your spare cash on?
Comics, books, DVDs, Music. The Wire is great, I've really got into reading Irvine Welsh lately, and I really love Pulp.
What did you get really, really excited about?
Hot Fuzz! Best film in ages, which came along at a very stressful time, when I was just living maths.
What song will always remind you of 2007?
Pulp - Like a Friend or The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
Probably a littler sadder, but wiser and closer to content. Fear over exams continues to dominate, at this time of year.
Thinner or fatter?
Slightly fatter, I think.
Richer or poorer?
Richer, in that I've stopped living on my overdraft.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
I don't really know. Probably more dedicated to maths at points, Go at others. Almost certainly more time with Pamela, when we were together. [I don't mean to sound like I'm desperate to be with her again. I just know that she was a large part of what made the year great.]
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Isolating myself, hurting those I care about, wasting time on the internet
What was your favorite TV programme?
Doctor Who or The Wire, if we're counting stuff I've watched on DVDs.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. Honestly no. Which makes it two years in a row. There really is no one I hate, though I've lost friends.
What was the last book you read?
The Psmith collection, by Wodehouse. Book of the year would be Porno, American Gods, or Attack and Defence.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Tapes 'n' Tapes.
What did you want and get?
Happiness, for a while. Love, for a while. Academic success and some respect. Friends.
What did you want and not get?
To get back with Pamela over the summer. But that wasn't meant to be. And nothing else, really, which is pretty amazing. Oh, an Oxford interview - I submitted my application fairly early to try and get an interview last year.
What was your favourite film this year?
Hot Fuzz!
What did you do on your birthday and how old are you?
I am 21. On my birthday I went to a postgraduate seminar, then went to the pub, went back to Melvile, put my kilt on, spent the evening with a group of my closest friends in the Cellar. It was great.
What one thing would've made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My parents not getting so ill, my mum not consequently losing her job.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Jeans, T-shirt and a jacket, generally leather. Occasionally kilt or a shirt. A fake tweed hat some of summer.
What kept you sane?
My meds helping me to pull all-nighters alone with maths.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None, really.
What political issue has stirred you the most?
Donald Trump deciding to build a resort on my Balmedie Beach (or my childhood, as it feels), the rejection of his plans by the planning council and the Scottish Parliment's subsequent decision that, no, they want to whore out the beautiful, protected areas of Scotland, and all that's left is quarrelling over the price. And Alex Salmond deciding to stand in my local region as an MSP purely on the basis of his name as a publicity stunt during the Scottish elections. And the falure of his to comment on the biggest, and most genuinely controversial local issue in year - the Trump thing pretty much has polarised public opinion in a 50-50 split.
Who did you miss?
Second half of the year, Paul Dodwell, Pamela, a lot of people. Rix, to a large-ish extent.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Anna, Tony, Edwin and Zoe are great new friends. I have to go with Sophie, because I'm going out with her, but this semester's mainly been about getting to be a lot closer to people I've known in year but haven't been that close to, like Dave, Tom, Fiona, James and Arthur, as well as getting back in touch with James, Owain, and Stewart, who I didn't see much last year.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Love ending is a very very painful thing. Something I got told about looking for PhD places, but is applicable to all life is a good lesson: "You have to be prepared to compromise."
So, 2007. It would've been a very good year, except for the fact that my parents were very ill for a lot of it, and the consequent break-up with Pamela. But mostly the parents being ill. It was crazy - the part where I was living in the maths department, the time we got chucked out of Nicholas's flat as his lease ran out while he was away, that insane trip to London I had, and the time I woke up in the sea are all stories that I'll probably tell people the rest of my life. This is the prime of my life.
Nonetheless, I like myself more, I'm wiser and stronger than last year. I'm still majorly messed up and have issues, but I'm a lot better, and have a lot of friends. And I know I can be a pretty good mathematician. And, importantly, that I'm not really that good a friend. Now just to avoid screwing it all up in 2008! First off: Don't screw up my easiest semester yet by not working hard enough for the one exam I have. Second: know everything I claimed to on my application for my Oxford interview. Third: Don't mess up my dissertation.
Will I do it? Place bets now!
What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Did consistently well in exams. Mathematics research. Dumped someone. Lived in a flat. Slept in the maths department. Lived in the maths department for a while. Got a real, not through parents or anything, job. Became a fixture of a pub, for a while. Gave a talk on maths. Pulled at a party. Deliberately wore a beard for a while. Applied for postgraduate courses. Drank with lecturers. Decided I want to go into research. Actually, I applied for courses that I might actually have a chance at, but which will be competitive. Depended on a mobile phone. Lots of things, really. Read books on maths. Played a tabletop RPG. Made friends with postgraduates and members of staff. Completing expert minesweeper in 121 seconds.
Did you keep new year's resolutions and will you make more next year?
1: Exercise every day [sit-ups]
2: Give up Coke, and, during non-exam periods, all fizzy drinks.
3: To break my habit of doing badly in the semester 1 exams , and, with luck, get the thing I'm hoping for from better results.
4: Update this thing much more regularly
5: Try not to get too hyper
6: Try to be less mopey
Admittedly, all of them are things I always try to do, but I have a hope for 3 of the first 4, for about 6 months or so.
Well, I did the third. The thing I was hoping for was the summer school, which I got. And I did stick with the first few for a few months. So I kept at least one, and followed some for a good while.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my aunt, Rose Ann, to James Alexander Kiehlmann, brother of my god-daughter who is very cute and has a name that I'd been considering for any future son of mine. As well as sharing the J.A.Kiehlmann mantle with me, which had previously been unique to me. Which is rather complimentary, I suppose. [The 'Alexander', which is also my middle name and my dad's, comes from my grandmother's maiden name.]
Did anyone close to you die?
Not finally, no, for the second year running. Something I'm very grateful for. Although my mother has been ill, and isn't ever really going to be the same, [in terms of energy], I don't think, and my dad's arthritis has got a lot worse, and my grandmother has what we think is probably stomach cancer, and we're waiting for a scan. So it's not been a year free from health issues.
What countries did you visit?
England, for a couple of Open days.
What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
That's a very good question. A trite answer is "A fully funded PhD place at Oxford or Imperial College London". Another could be "stability", but, if I'm really honest, I don't know how unstable I am, and how much being more stable would be dull. The last year's been a lot of fun, and has a lot of stories that I'll probably be telling for years to come. A lasting relationship, maybe, but I'm in one which doesn't seem to be not lasting. Health and happiness for everyone I love is really the main thing I'd ask for. But I know I'm not going to get that.
What dates from 2007 will remain etched in your memory and why?
The first half of the year was a massive blur, with so much happening that all the dates blurred into one.
The time on the summer school was great, the first time in years I've felt truly happy.
6th of September. One day, I'm going to have to tell some girl "I haven't felt that good since James McFadden scored against France in 2007". That was a beautiful goal.
13-15th of September, which was one of the most painful times in my life, when someone I'd considered one of my best friends, Rix, got together with my ex, Pamela, who I'd dumped after a very stressful period in my life when we were in a place were it wasn't working, who I still loved very very much, on a date which was pretty bad timing for me. Pretty much the whole thing was my fault, I know, and I really do miss my friendship with Rixy. But it was too painful to see him, talk to him anymore. In fact, I didn't see him between then and ...
2nd of November, when I bashed my head in.
9th of November, my 21st.
3rd December, when I sent my Oxford Application in.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably my exams - I did extremely well with a few of them, getting 19.8 and 19.6 in Topics in Groups and Lie Algebras, both Masters level courses, which has put me on a current credit-weighted mean of 18.7. Which has a fair bit to do with the fact that I actually seem to be the sort of person many people would like to have as a PhD student.
Surviving first semester of my final year, too, is pretty big - this last semester's been very tough. Basically, largely as a result of my stupidity in the first half, I'd pretty much lost a lot of my support network, and all the fighting with Pamela was bad. I wish we didn't fight so much. It's funny, I forgot how good she made me feel until I read last year's review.
But a big achievement, too, was being with her for so long. I'm not saying this as someone who can't move on, I just can't help looking back on the time we had as something which was great. I really miss the closeness we had. And that sounds so angsty, but I'm not saying that whilst feeling down. I mean, I genuinely do grieve what we had, but I just remember it fondly.
Actually, the fact I now seem to genuinely have many friends is a good thing. I seem to have more friends than ever before. I guess that can only be good.
What were your biggest failures this year?
Dumping Pamela, hurting her massively has to stand out as one of them. Losing a lot of friends as a result of how things have panned out, too. Failing to actually complete the summer research and write it up, even now, is big. Not getting as much work as I might've liked on my dissertation done last semester, which was probably my lightest, academically speaking.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I still throw up a lot, get headaches, and colds a lot, but don't let them stop me.
Injurywise, the time I was feeling depressed and decided to stave off suicidal impulses by going to look at the sea, tried to jump over a gap in the rocks and woke up bleeding from the head in the sea must rank highly. Also, a great story to tell people. But I wasn't that injured: I had two-five stitches in my head (no one ever agreed on how many), but otherwise was utterly fine, aside from being mentally shaken for a while, from the moment, four hours in, when the adrenaline was wearing off and I realised how close I'd come to dying.
What was the best thing you bought?
My shiny new Creative Gigaworks T20 speakers, my DKNY glasses, Annie Hall or my used copy of A Course in the Theory of Groups.
Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Everyone for putting up with me, Pamela for loving me while she did, Sophie for going out with me despite everything, Tony for asking me to give a postgraduate seminar, Steven Moffat for writing Blink, Nicholas, without who I'd have never got to this stage where I'm pretty sure of getting into a PhD course at a good university, and everyone for being there.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, myself, largely. A couple of others made me depressed, but that was my own fault.
What did you spend most of your spare cash on?
Comics, books, DVDs, Music. The Wire is great, I've really got into reading Irvine Welsh lately, and I really love Pulp.
What did you get really, really excited about?
Hot Fuzz! Best film in ages, which came along at a very stressful time, when I was just living maths.
What song will always remind you of 2007?
Pulp - Like a Friend or The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
Probably a littler sadder, but wiser and closer to content. Fear over exams continues to dominate, at this time of year.
Thinner or fatter?
Slightly fatter, I think.
Richer or poorer?
Richer, in that I've stopped living on my overdraft.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
I don't really know. Probably more dedicated to maths at points, Go at others. Almost certainly more time with Pamela, when we were together. [I don't mean to sound like I'm desperate to be with her again. I just know that she was a large part of what made the year great.]
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Isolating myself, hurting those I care about, wasting time on the internet
What was your favorite TV programme?
Doctor Who or The Wire, if we're counting stuff I've watched on DVDs.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. Honestly no. Which makes it two years in a row. There really is no one I hate, though I've lost friends.
What was the last book you read?
The Psmith collection, by Wodehouse. Book of the year would be Porno, American Gods, or Attack and Defence.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Tapes 'n' Tapes.
What did you want and get?
Happiness, for a while. Love, for a while. Academic success and some respect. Friends.
What did you want and not get?
To get back with Pamela over the summer. But that wasn't meant to be. And nothing else, really, which is pretty amazing. Oh, an Oxford interview - I submitted my application fairly early to try and get an interview last year.
What was your favourite film this year?
Hot Fuzz!
What did you do on your birthday and how old are you?
I am 21. On my birthday I went to a postgraduate seminar, then went to the pub, went back to Melvile, put my kilt on, spent the evening with a group of my closest friends in the Cellar. It was great.
What one thing would've made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My parents not getting so ill, my mum not consequently losing her job.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Jeans, T-shirt and a jacket, generally leather. Occasionally kilt or a shirt. A fake tweed hat some of summer.
What kept you sane?
My meds helping me to pull all-nighters alone with maths.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None, really.
What political issue has stirred you the most?
Donald Trump deciding to build a resort on my Balmedie Beach (or my childhood, as it feels), the rejection of his plans by the planning council and the Scottish Parliment's subsequent decision that, no, they want to whore out the beautiful, protected areas of Scotland, and all that's left is quarrelling over the price. And Alex Salmond deciding to stand in my local region as an MSP purely on the basis of his name as a publicity stunt during the Scottish elections. And the falure of his to comment on the biggest, and most genuinely controversial local issue in year - the Trump thing pretty much has polarised public opinion in a 50-50 split.
Who did you miss?
Second half of the year, Paul Dodwell, Pamela, a lot of people. Rix, to a large-ish extent.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Anna, Tony, Edwin and Zoe are great new friends. I have to go with Sophie, because I'm going out with her, but this semester's mainly been about getting to be a lot closer to people I've known in year but haven't been that close to, like Dave, Tom, Fiona, James and Arthur, as well as getting back in touch with James, Owain, and Stewart, who I didn't see much last year.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Love ending is a very very painful thing. Something I got told about looking for PhD places, but is applicable to all life is a good lesson: "You have to be prepared to compromise."
So, 2007. It would've been a very good year, except for the fact that my parents were very ill for a lot of it, and the consequent break-up with Pamela. But mostly the parents being ill. It was crazy - the part where I was living in the maths department, the time we got chucked out of Nicholas's flat as his lease ran out while he was away, that insane trip to London I had, and the time I woke up in the sea are all stories that I'll probably tell people the rest of my life. This is the prime of my life.
Nonetheless, I like myself more, I'm wiser and stronger than last year. I'm still majorly messed up and have issues, but I'm a lot better, and have a lot of friends. And I know I can be a pretty good mathematician. And, importantly, that I'm not really that good a friend. Now just to avoid screwing it all up in 2008! First off: Don't screw up my easiest semester yet by not working hard enough for the one exam I have. Second: know everything I claimed to on my application for my Oxford interview. Third: Don't mess up my dissertation.
Will I do it? Place bets now!