Where I've Been

[e_compass_rosa]

For the past several days I’ve withdrawn into myself in ways that may or may not prove to be ultimately productive, but which in the immediacy of it all have been difficult.  I handed over 60+ pages of journal writing to my wise, old, therapist-shrink, Dr. Jung -- kind of the “best of” from the past four years of keeping a journal, and only a small

Comments

[eris_devotee]

hmmm... well, I think you are doing good by your daughter. You are human, and you are showing her how to deal with that on a daily basis. Trying to make everything too perfect wouldn't give her the tools for her adult life. She is lucky to have a mom so determined to be loving and successful and personally happy... and to witness what that is really like.

Besides, you two have to figure out how to get along during times of tiredness and irritation... at some point you'll be living with the unholy terror that is a girl-child going through menarche... PMSing together is all sorts of drama.

[e_compass_rosa]

Oh goodness -- given how my daughter is at the age of 6... I shudder to think of adolescence. But, yes, I agree with you. I can see how my struggle now will ultimately help her to see a more full me, and hopefully help her to more fully realize her own desires. That doesn't make it any easier in the moment, but I do see that in the future.

[foolishfiddler]

I'm sending you all sorts of light

[e_compass_rosa]

Thanks -- I think I've received it! We had a lovely evening.

[celebrian_3]

I can imagine just how difficult it must have been to compile and sort through all that past writing. I've had some major temporary emotional crises arise as a direct result of my stumbling upon some old writings of mine unawares. To consciously go through four years of it must have taken a good deal of courage. But then, you're a very courageous woman, so that doesn't surprise me.

[e4q]

i gave mine badges.

there may be more, but badges are a start.

[kdotdammit]

I can't even begin to fathom digging up old journals yet alone sharing them. One of the reasons I refuse to engage in therapy (though I did a little in the past) is there is no way I'm opening the floodgates. I manage my stuff a bit at a time the way I can. No wonder you were lying up in bed sick. Opening all that stuff no doubt let out a lot of ick from inside you. Good luck wading through it all. Like I said, I can't even fathom going there, especially having a child. But you know my issues. They're fairly extreme. I imagine you'll be manifesting a lot of intense symptoms now. I know people who have gone through intense psychotherapy and during the process their therapy and the process of it really does become their entire universe. It eventually gets them where they need to get, usually, but while they're there, it's all consuming.

[e_compass_rosa]

yes -- all consuming. i'll respond more fully when i can. but, Yes.

[kdotdammit]

It does seem that you have fully retreated into that space. I've seen it with other friends. I hope it works out for you.