1) im hiding the fact that im bisexual from all but 3 of my friends.... it fucking kills me... and the fact that im bi makes me feel even more alone than i allready feel. I am scared to come out... and i dont kno how. 2) i cut myself... but im not very good at it.
3) I occasionally get very suicidal and want to crash my own car or take a bottle of pills any day now
4) i have a porn addiction and i masterbate too much lol whew.... i feel better too
1. i am falling in love with two of my best friends - roommates with each other - in this new city i came to to escape falling in love with my best friend.
2. i was molested.
3. i have been suicidal since i was a little kid, and have thought, "i wish i was dead" almost every day for ten years.
4. i am going to punch someone for the first time in my life in two weeks... and it's hot thinking about it.
5. the only person i've ever been in love with? i am going to try to fuck all of our mutual friends this month. why not?
6. secretly, i hate most of my friends and all of my roommates but one.
7. sometimes i wonder if i got a softpack and a girlfriend and lived as a man, i'd be happy. or happier.
be prepared for rambling.four_line_poemDecember 27 2005, 09:20:01 UTC
Hey, i guess this is not a secret, but i didn't wanna sound like a bitch on that other girl's post in 'bleed me skinny', because she really is a pretty nice person. But you said pretty much what i wish i had the balls to say. Although anatomically speaking, i don't have balls anyway. I just wanted to say thank you.
I have a feeling i tend to act like a spoiled brat myself, i complained all the way through private school, i detested being upper middle class 'poor' in a rich town- (oh lord i only have a built-to-sell 6 bed 3 bath house with decent architectural features, why o why can't i have a mini mansion like all my neighbors). I had no idea how sheltered i was until i started doing volunteer work. But i had no idea how fucked up i was until i moved away from home. Shitty things can happen to anyone anywhere, regardless of economic level, ethnicity, age, location... obviously. or we both wouldn't be in that same community. Well, here's to a new year and promoting socialism or something.
I've told everyone that i was raped and sexually abused when really, none of that has happened to me. I don't want sympathy or attention, I just really feel like I can't control myself. I lie to the people I love the most all the time. I don't even realize i'm doing it. I have multiple personalities.
I always feel horrible when I think about the lies I've told people and I try so hard to stop, i even got counseling for it, but I just can't stop doing it. It makes me sick thinking about how people really go through that shit and can't deal with it and here I am, telling people it's happened to me when I have no idea what it's really like to deal with that.
I'm a terrible person. I've failed life. And i'm only 14.
Comments 35
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Probably not.
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2) i cut myself... but im not very good at it.
3) I occasionally get very suicidal and want to crash my own car or take a bottle of pills any day now
4) i have a porn addiction and i masterbate too much lol
whew.... i feel better too
Reply
2. i was molested.
3. i have been suicidal since i was a little kid, and have thought, "i wish i was dead" almost every day for ten years.
4. i am going to punch someone for the first time in my life in two weeks... and it's hot thinking about it.
5. the only person i've ever been in love with? i am going to try to fuck all of our mutual friends this month. why not?
6. secretly, i hate most of my friends and all of my roommates but one.
7. sometimes i wonder if i got a softpack and a girlfriend and lived as a man, i'd be happy. or happier.
Reply
I have a feeling i tend to act like a spoiled brat myself, i complained all the way through private school, i detested being upper middle class 'poor' in a rich town- (oh lord i only have a built-to-sell 6 bed 3 bath house with decent architectural features, why o why can't i have a mini mansion like all my neighbors). I had no idea how sheltered i was until i started doing volunteer work. But i had no idea how fucked up i was until i moved away from home. Shitty things can happen to anyone anywhere, regardless of economic level, ethnicity, age, location... obviously. or we both wouldn't be in that same community. Well, here's to a new year and promoting socialism or something.
Reply
I always feel horrible when I think about the lies I've told people and I try so hard to stop, i even got counseling for it, but I just can't stop doing it. It makes me sick thinking about how people really go through that shit and can't deal with it and here I am, telling people it's happened to me when I have no idea what it's really like to deal with that.
I'm a terrible person. I've failed life. And i'm only 14.
Reply
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