It has been a long 24 hours. On Tuesday evening cameron began to complain about a pain in his left leg. I wrote it off as growing pains. When we arrived home he was complaining so much that it hurt that he could not walk and only crawl. I gave him some tylenol and put him to bed. The next morning wheen he woke up he awoke is such agony. He could ( Read more... )

so i made it through 7 months of school. i am now having all of that put to the test. it is a trip and a half. i felt like i had not learned anything for the first two days. i couldn't even do a bp wich i excelled in and is the easiest thing on the planet. my nerves were so rattled i was dreadfully exhausted at the end of the day. but now on day ( Read more... )

GRRRRRAAAAAA!!!!! slamming head against desk. hmmm i think i once heard that you could get a lobatomy by shoving something sharp through you eye into your frontal lobe to numb the emotional part of your brain. i just can't fathom how that works though. i can't reamember if here was a big opening i think you would have to go through duramatter wich ( Read more... )

oh the drama and chaos is unbelievable! i am officially half way though the program. every once in a while that sadness comes back to haunt me. regret for being lazy all those years. so many hopes and dreams on hold or just suppressed. the things i should of and could of done. still learning to appreciate the here and now, that has always been so ( Read more... )

i am still high from the photo shoot on saturday. i think it is my favorite pictures i have taken. i was a bit nervous because i was unsure how her face would look on film. i did my own style of experimental lighting and used a less popular film. the results were great. it was all me. it has been a long time since i have had that kind of confidence ( Read more... )

ugh!!! so i got guinea pigged today at school. my arms are bruised and sore. so we are expected to do our part and volunteer to have people train on our bodies. so as if i wasn't a nervous wreck in the first place. i am afraid of shots. so i found it was just a blood draw and relaxed a bit. double checked to make sure it wasn't the girls first time ( Read more... )

it is wierd how you can go a while and just feel positive and hopeful and just be oblivious, then wam you get knocked on your ass and set back in reality. i hate this fucking city. to many people crammed in and trying to make space for themselves. there isn't enough for what they want so they push otheres around disrespect. people seem so angry ( Read more... )

it is weird how death makes you think. so i was in the store today and ran into a familiar face. we chat briefly then "oh i bet you didn't hear _____ killed himself." "what?!" "yeah shot his head off." my mind just kind of numbed. i am not really surprised that he did it, yet there is that feeling of maybe i could have done something, or said ( Read more... )

so things didn't turn out the way i wanted with school. i did not get into the program i wanted. i will be doing another one which is actually better because it is shorter and less hours away from cami. i will have a skill in a short time which i can use to get farther in my life. it will also help me get of of this dreadful insurance to. medical ( Read more... )

so today i take a very hesitant step into making change. i want it so bad yet i am just so reluctant knowing that for a year i will not be with my child every waking moment. it sounds great in one aspect, yet the knowledge that i can't pick and choose when i want to be away and when i don't. so i go look at a school in a little over 2 hours. it ( Read more... )