Ughhhh. I spent most of yesterday last night and today in a haze. The cough medicine isn't helping. I have completely lost my appetite. Last night I had a fever so bad I was delirious. I couldn't tell if I was awake or dreaming. My face swelled on oneside and my splashing water upon it didn't help. I woked up tis morning when my father annouced it ( Read more... )

My lungs still burn I have begun to walk again. I miss walking it helps me get air in my lungs and lets my blood flow. Of course that still has not happened in the biological sense. I am stressing over the fact I can't seem to focus on my essay for my application. So many years away and I am almost completely illiterate. The sun seems to be setting ( Read more... )

Social injustice is heavy on my mind today. I had a deep conversation with my father. His softening up to my political beliefs ( Read more... )

Finally a Saint not slaughtered by Unrequited love or a sadistic ruler. He was an Irish Bishop who opposed the Roman liturgical practice to replace the Celtic usage, was the friend to Oswy king of Northumbria and converted some Angle and Saxon kings ( Read more... )

Today I was inspired. I found that all the hate I have harboured in my heart is weighing me down. I must release this anger, this frustration, this insecurity. For how can I be prepared to love anyone or in turn expect anyone to love me, if I do not love myself. I returned to meditating tonight. My soul needs cleansing. I need to release the filth ( Read more... )

During the reign Of Emperor Maximilian, St.Juliana was a girl scorned by her father for her faith. When she refused the proposal of the Prefect Evilasius, she was put to death. Neither bubbling boiling oil nor a blazing furnace could kill her. It was death by beheading that had done the trick ( Read more... )

There was an old person from Stroud ( Read more... )

So I am pumping myself full of this tea. Its worked so well so far but old demons have come creeping back into my head. God's folly to make me bleed so I can atone some sin within my soul. I wish there was a way I could go back. Back to when I was a child and I trusted the world around me. When I didn't shrink from an outstretched hand. When I ( Read more... )

It was on this day in 808 ad that an Irish Bishop was killed by Lowland pagans because he smashed the stautes of their gods. He went all the way to flanders and saxony to be slaughtered. I went all the way north to clear my mind of doubt and self-loathing that tormented me. I needed the cold mountain air to cleanse my soul. I needed to stand back ( Read more... )

So I spent this slaughtered saints day drowning out the swells of tears with mood altering tea,housework and taking inventory for the house insurance. Serial after serial number of equipment for the entertainment of the descendants of Colosseum goers. Civilized now with the complacency of pro wrestling, action movies and football. Outlets for our ( Read more... )