The End Is Nigh!!!!

[ebontane]

First heatwaves, then bushfires (golly gosh, wouldn't have foreseen that as a consequence of heatwaves + dickheads + matches), then windstorms, now earthquakes.

I'd say locusts were next, 'cept we already have them.

Comments

[eatsyourface]

That's what I said! (on facebook ._.)

[ebontane]

Ah, well, at least we're not up to anything as serious as firstborn sons dying or the Rapture, so I guess we're okay for now.

Repent?

[eatsyourface]

I'll do it tomorrow, when I have time or something.

[ebontane]

Personally, I'm hoping the 'eternal' in 'eternal salvation' refers for the amount of time we have to get round to it.

[korigatachi]

Don't forget about the salinity, posionous spiders, poisonous snakes, poisonous jellyfish, poisonous octopus, poisonous spurs of the animal that was once thought to be a hoax, rampant camels in the desert, bluebottles, ozone hole above our heads, localised droughts, hurricane, freak storms, plague of crown-of-thorns in the Great Barrier Reef adn all that.
Using the Plagues of Egypt as a guideline: dredging of the bay (killing off little birds and fish, equivalent for 'rivers turning into blood, purging life the waters'? Algal bloom?), frogs descending from the sky (cane toads brought in from overseas?), lice and gnats, disease on livestock (mites on sheep etc), unhealable boils (golden staph, unnecessary prescriptions, super-resistant strains in hospitals), hail mixed with fire (knowing Melbourne, I'm sure it'll happen one day), darkness, and the death of first-borns etc.

The End has been maing preparations for a while now. Maybe we can expect a plague flu epidemic this winter.

[ebontane]

See, I'm working more to the premillenial dispensationalist Rapture framework, because that's the one that's supposed to be coming up.

We need a red heifer (gotta rebuild that Temple of Solomon somehow), One World Government, a global currency, famine, Gog and Magog, attacks on Israel, wars and rumours of wars, and, of course, spaceship Jesus.

*sigh* Let's go dye that heifer red.