Tonight is the last night that I am alone for Josh ia coming home tomorrow. I am having mixed feelings about him coming home. I miss him so much but also I am still a little upset that he choose to go even though he promised me this spring he wouldn't. Of course I knew that he would go even though he said he wouldn't. I knew that the guys would say ( Read more... )

I have not written in a long time. It is hard to find time to write since my kids keep me so busy. I have a hard time to find time to doing anything for myself. I am always busying with schoolwork, running a business, teaching my kids, cooking, cleaning, and scheduling. My husband is always working, so it is always me with my kids all day. Gets ( Read more... )

It has been a long time since I have been on and every time I try to write it seems to not sound right. Now I have something I really need to write about. My surgery is on Friday and I am really scared. I know that the surgery will go fine. I am scared of other things. I have no idea what the kids will handle the surgery. I thought about have one ( Read more... )

Well, I don't know what to say. I am flustered. I am trying to build my life from the bottom up. First off, I started working out today. I want to get healthier. By working out and eat better. Second, I am taking back my hobbies back. I went out and bought some music, not kids music but actually music I can listen to. Plus I am writing, poems and ( Read more... )

I did something very difficult for me to do. I mail my dad and talked to him about my feelings and what I want from our relationship. This is a big deal since emotions are quite new to me and I never have been able to make a decision in my life so it's very hard to know what my needs and wants are let only communicate them to anyone. So I finally ( Read more... )

poem #1 the one for the past ( Read more... )

Today at my counsling session we talked about a lot of different things. First off, about letting my family into my mind once again which causes a lot of my fights. Now I know I have to look about I start fighting to make sure I dont have my tape playing in my head. Actually, I need to record over those tapes so I never have to hear them again. But ( Read more... )

Ok... this is hard but I figure that since my counslor Dr Chipman wants me to write a journal so I can reconnect with myself that I could do it here the only thing is there will be a lot of emotion. Yes I am going to see a counslor. I thought it was about time since I can barely function in my life and my husband and kids deserve better. I have ( Read more... )

i know i should do a quick update. lets see ( Read more... )

The bar room was filled with people caring on conversations as they try to put the work week behind them. They ordered their beer and their cocktails not noticing the waitress bring the drinks to them. Besides the constant stares and the lame one liners from the men too drunk to know how much they are tipping she goes unnoticed. With her shoulder ( Read more... )