i wanna eat a goddam bullet.i just lost it ,i hold all this saddness inside my flesh.i lost it , i started bawlin my fuckin eyes out , i heard a song that made me remember. it made me remember the things i've tried so hard to forget . what i try to pretend doesnt exist . and yet sometimes there's nothing else more real.i almost deleted this stupid ( Read more... )

yea so i am a little emo ok quite a bit . i used to not be . but i am now . and i like to feel . and i've always been a vocal person .....the whole me and mo thing is as follow in my mind today .i love her a whole fuckin shit load. and i want to be with her . and as an old friend recently told me everything happens for a reason , now i've been ( Read more... )

yea so i am a little emo ok quite a bit . i used to not be . but i am now . and i like to feel . and i've always been a vocal person .....the whole me and mo thing is as follow in my mind today .i love her a whole fuckin shit load. and i want to be with her . and as an old friend recently told me everything happens for a reason , now i've been ( Read more... )

im one month my baby is leaving me . leaving as going back to connecticut. and we might break up . she tells me she's not sure if were gonna break up or not .. so i sit around with on my mind . wondering . so was all this for nothing . how can i make the best outa the time i have left with her . btu i don't want to make the best outa the time left ( Read more... )

so i'm obsessed with violins , viola's and chello's .. it's my new favorite thing . i just bought a sick electric violin . it's a starter violin . but it's fuckin sweet . i also ordered an instructional dvd and a few tabliture books ... i can't fuckin wait till they come in ... in a cupple weeks i'm gonna buy this wicked insane electric chello ( Read more... )

so i've done a shitty job of keeping any sort of journal this year . but it's been a long great fuckin year .. i'm now living in phoenix arizona . in a pretty big one bedroom apartment , with my darling girlfriend .. i'm working in a metal shop doing custom fabrication and welding , and i'm in mmi for motorcycle mechanics .. i wouldn'say i'm living ( Read more... )

so it's 2007 tuesday january second to be precise... the first day of the rest of my life... i was in a supper good mood today all giddy and shit so i decided to work a little overtime....ummmm i have a new girlfriend , yep me and mo had a discussion while lying next to each other naked at 530 am new years day ... and yea were together ( Read more... )

so what a fuckin year it's been it went fom bad to better to worse to bad to fuckin awsome...it seems that in one year i went through hell and swam down the river styx...and now i've almost reached completion... wellllll not really .. but lets start at the beginning ( Read more... )

notreally ... just thinking alot today .. thinking to damn much ... all my financial matters seem to be butting heads at the moment .. the cruise is approaching way to quickly ... in 89 days i will be in paradise...i still can't fucking beleive it ... umm i'm going to this psycho circus type thingy at mohegun sun next week that should be pretty ( Read more... )

there's always gotta be piranahs in paradise , doesn't there ... so i wrote mo like a 5 page letter telling her all of my deepest darkest secrets.. and i haven't heard back from her yet .. i told her if she had to run away and never talk to me again she could , and that i'd understand ... but i think she's still at werk .. still nervous though.... ( Read more... )