i get nervous around nick now. like, i cannot sit next to him at all. i cant talk to him, and i hate it when he looks at me. but i hate it even more when he doesnt. i just feel so fucking exposed and out there in the open when im around him. i feel like hes picturing me that day we ditched together (the day after 420). and i hate how he can pick up ( Read more... )

found out why he probably doesnt wanna talk to me...he has a gf...that explains why he didnt even bother to write me back. oh well. once again, im not good enough for him. s'all good. i got cole, right? yeah. cuz im so fucking in love with him. ::sarcasm:: they say you're supposed to wait for the one you love, because its just mean to be with ( Read more... )

Believe the news, I'm gone for good ( Read more... )

dude, i had so much fun this weekend. today, me and amanda saw a really crappy movie, so we walked out early, and rode in the elevators at sams town, and any time we got a weird look, id just blow the person a kiss and wink at them lol ( Read more... )

not much going on. just sad as fuck. think id go as far as saying depressed. i cant even eat. and i looooooove food. i cant fucking sleep. i get like, 4 hours of sleep every night. i just keep thinking of him and everything he said and everything we did. i trusted him sooooooo much. "i think of you more as a friend." friends dont do what he did. ( Read more... )

i hate living here. i hate living period. fuck. why does it have to be like this? it wasnt supposed to! i hate this. i fucking hate everything. fuck fuck fuck fuck. i feel so fucking alone. i dont even wanna date anyone (srry travis). i feel so stupid for getting so attached. fuck. i did. i got attachted, i opened up, i got my fucking heart torn ( Read more... )

Take your wings outside, you can't fly in here ( Read more... )

havent been on in a while. my comp died. :( sad sad, tear tear. quick update: jereme left for the navy, almost got kicked out, but is still there and in boot camp and is doing good. he writes, and we write back. mike left for basic training for the army last week. i said good-bye the only way fit for saying to the incredibly stupid man i love. i ( Read more... )

im so fucking fed up w/everything. im tired of being used and lied to by guys. im sick of hearing the same shit over and over again, n they dont mean it. im sick of hearing shit like "i'll always be there", "i care about", "lets still be friends", oh, this one just makes me laugh now it has such a low worth. thee ever so classic "i love you". i ( Read more... )

i hate *his* new gf. i hate her like ive hated every other gf he had & i never got to call him mine. :( i cant say his name cuz he reads this & i dont want him to know im jealous. i keep thinking im over him, but any time he says anything about him & another chick, i get hella sad & pissed. its fucking retarded, i should be over him. i should be ( Read more... )