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Back on the internet with ramblings that long for an outlet
its been a few years. reading my old posts with a mixture of curiousity and disgust. considering starting over with a new blog, i am not half of the person represented in these. or am i? maybe some years will pass and i'll actually beleive that high school was not a misguided search for laughter and forgetting. i hope so. -
who are you now ?
who are you all out there now, the ghostly shadows of opinions hang like flies around the sweetness of agony present in my room day and night and sometimes i should certainly swear to feel and see the most stupendous things , really, things to teach and to comfort and things to nurture.... but we all take from our environment viable and ( Read more... ) -
that strange weight in the chest area diagnosis:
well it feels like its weighing me down to the ground but upon further investigation it seems to be making me lighter than air, giving the strong desire to blow away with the wind. like a free radical to soar and sink above it all, but then one remembers one's own humanity and falls like a rock to the ground, sinking beneath in the earth's motherly ( Read more... ) -
Burchak, Nazdar bithchess
Hello from the Empire of lights, the vision of renaisance europe. hello from paradise and from hell. the emotions flow like the gallons of wine down the gullet and nothing makes sense but the beat and raised voices screaming their exlamatory gestures, wonderement fills the room, the air is thick and for once one may ponder something pure ( Read more... ) -
Ode to the city that is capital of my world
Dissaffected blank faces seemingly staring at you as you pass them by with your rebeliously stoned expression. Some dude in a suit talking loudly on his cellphone. A woman with fake hair in a baby phat jumpsuit. Bunches of beautiful blonde rich schoolchildren frolicking in the Central Park playground on the east side next to the MFA. A desolate bum ( Read more... ) -
in these times
I find myself once again writing here, for there has been much going on but I have not had the urge to express it electronically. I am in NY, at home. I recently moved from Boston where I finished off a rockin' summer and lay alot of good friendships in wait for my return, from EUROPE! I am going to Prague next friday, Sept 1st, to study abroad for ( Read more... ) -
ramobingh
feel drunk and exhuadstee, days fro m a epiphany on th infi=vividal time anf cafeing abou outself. I lovd youtoo,okeaseo ==d i the girht thing anndjulur'ernoy -
disrespect[ed]
i had the loneliest weekened. i couldnt have imagined it would have turned out so but did and im fucking suprised at how much of a loser i am underneath it all. you know, staring at the phone waiting for it to ring, hoping each precious moment of weekend time isnt lost after all while at the same time realizing an incredibly uncomfortable feeling ( Read more... ) -
let this journal be a vehicle for wandring emotions
fuck this is my journal right? well i feel goddamn awful. not only did i recently end a year long beautiful relationship but i manage to loose lots of friends ive made along the way and i feel so lonely and stupid for feeling bad for myself because i am strong and fucking cant stand it when people write stuff like this in public online journals but ( Read more... ) -
thank you very much a good night
vvvvvviiiiiibbbbbbbrrrrrrraaaaattttttiiiiiooooonnnnnnnsssss
good ones.
awesome weekend, used every tiny moment in its own way to its fullest potential. spectacular.
did very many good things saw some lovely people. and i havent been on here in a while due to lack of things to really say. im happy. and crazy.
Chaos is inherent in all compounded ( Read more... )