Decided to try writing in here again. Keep forgeting to do things for myself. But find when I don't I start to melt (figuratively). Ha- wish I could melt physically! Well, it is the holidays. Sometimes I get down at this time of year. Don't know why exactly. Get overwhelmed and it just doesn't seem as fun as it used to. Looking forward to Xmas ( Read more... )

I feel good. Had my first chemotherapy last week. Doing ok. I am not as worried for myself as other people are for me. I feel bad for them. I trust God for whatever He is doing with me. Sometimes I get scared, but always I believe in Him and His love for me. God is good. He will work things out in His time. His ways are not my ways. But His love is ( Read more... )

Another problem has come up in my life. I do not know how to deal with it. God has always seen me through. This has to do with more people and I don't know how they will be affected. I am stunned. God please give me wisdom. And help Tim to have wisdom too, and love.

In the last two weeks I had a bad mammogram, a second bad mammogram, a bad untrasound of the mammogram, a consult with a surgeon, surgery for a biopsy and to remove a small lump on my breast, bleeding after the surgery, rushed to the hospital where I sat for 3 hours before being looked at, developed a hematoma (big,bad,bloody,boob), got bad lab ( Read more... )

Well, it is the time for the start of school. For me that means a lot of new stress. Sometimes I don't think about the stress I am always under until some big event comes along. When a new big stressor comes in I just get very overwhelmed. Because my stress level is already near the top and then I add another big thing and it just overflows. I ( Read more... )

In the last couple of days for some reason I have been getting the feeling I am ready to start working on my health and fitness issues. Overweight, underactive, etc....I just felt like getting active so I did. I like doing things like sports and stuff but the law of inertia just takes over. It is so easy to sit and it takes energy to overcome ( Read more... )

Wow! I had a great time on the 4th. I was worried that I would have a boring day or be lonely. We have been having some extended family problems and even though I would have like to do something for the family like a cookout I didn't because of that. So I threw together a little get together with my kids and their friends and another couple I asked ( Read more... )

I am feeling kind of sad tonight. Hard to say why. Tim and I went to see Spiderman. It was a good movie. In the middle of it someone is getting a pep talk about hanging in there and to keep on doing good. It made me feel sad. I started to cry a little. I guess I was a little surprised at my feelings. It was like, hey where did that come from? ( Read more... )

Second entry- wow, really moving along here ( Read more... )

I am feeling very stupid right now because I am trying to start this journal and I don't know what I am doing. I can't decide if I want this journal to be a place for me to put my deepest thoughts or just a place for reflection and simply a place to talk about what is going on in my life. I guess I would like the first one but I am too chicken to ( Read more... )