its been a while since ive been on lj ( Read more... )

i HATE when people say oh youre so thin
no. i honestly am NOT.
it doesnt make me feel better
because i KNOW they can't mean it.
i wish they did.

im tired.
school's in.

i LOVE new years.
i have devised a 6 month plan.
so that i lose weight..but not TOO much
[what is too much?]
before i leave this country
as to not worry my parents
but enough to make me happy
i am excited and hopeful about this

ive decided to take it nice and slow
and incorporate a new dieting technique each month.
this way i will ease into it.

i have been horrid.
but the worst thing is ive given up lately.
lazy.lazy.lazy
but thats okay ive decided
@ least for now.
i need to start up soon though.
but if i show any signs of instability i might not be able to study abroad next year.
..careful.

im feeling better than the past few weeks but not by much. things will hopefully get better soon.

today i had 1/2 a tortilla and a small oatmeal cookie. carbs carbs carbs. yesterday i had 1/4 bowl of oatmeal and some junior mints. my sweet tooth is wrecking me. i am so so cold i cant stop shaking. and i feel really weak so i didnt go out tonight. but i dont mind that much; there wasnt really anything exciting going on tonight anyway. i should ( Read more... )