Im sitting here with a boy who likes to be close to me, texts me all day, calls me, wants to see me as much as he can, holds my hand, calls me babe/baby, holds me close, kisses me all the time, is not a self centered dickface, and still smokes all my butts.

For the first time in over 2 years, I finally feel happy...

And adored. Very adored.

today i randomly drove to the cape with my co worker and friend ashley and poland. we were having a great time. one of the best days ive had in a long time. but then i got a phone call...a bad phone call and i felt my heart quicken its beat. i was informed that Gabe Feld passed away this friday april 24th. I made phone calls, informed Kyrstal and ( Read more... )

I just reminded myself how much I really do miss him, even if sometimes I dont feel it. things are crashing. mostly me and my spirit. I feel like I have no one. Im alone in this world and I would give any part of me up to feel happy again ( Read more... )

i called out of babysitting today because i just wanted to sleep...i wanted to sleep and not have to wake up for work at 3pm either....but alas, im awake. so im going. i had to work yesterday while the boy i like got trained. it sucked. it sucked in the point that it was akward and i went from really nervous and gittery to quite and pissed off all ( Read more... )

i use to love livejournal. just writing, it was such a release. but not anymore. im trying to keep busy so i can stop thinking about how my life seems to be going on the right track, but its moving too fast for me to keep up lately. i was sad in feb. but that all changed when Matt, after 2 years finally asked me out 4 days before Johns one year. ( Read more... )

i was sitting on the train tonight on my way back from work at 12:30am when i realized something...this was our month. How could I have been so clueless? Ive just been so busy lately with work and school ending that it slipped my mind until tonight. Right there on the train I wanted to cry, but I didn't because you wouldn't have wanted it that way ( Read more... )

almost 8 months after my boyfriend is killed in a car accident i get into the first one i have had since i was 17 years old. my whole body hurts. my left knee is really swollen and hurts to walk on so im limping. my left hand hurts like hell and i have a large bump forming on my forehead where i slightly hit my head on the steering wheel and bit my ( Read more... )

Im going to make an attempt to use my livejournal again ( Read more... )

Wow. The last time I posted was over 2 months ago...I wont say much to catch up on other then the fact that school has begun and im already fucking up, big surprise there. I think im going to take next semester off, I should have done it this semester but instead I decided to take two classes that I can barely handle. Fucking academic shit... ( Read more... )

I love the shoe "weeds" its offical. and "the tutors" im obsessed. and its taking me forever to get through the seasons because im always working ( Read more... )