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Character: L
Series: Death Note
Character Age: 24
Job: Candy Inspector
Canon: The Death Note is a notebook capable of killing anyone whose name is written on its pages; but according to Yagami Light, it's justice. Known as the mysterious killer "Kira", Light has taken it upon himself to judge those who the law has failed in hopes of cleansing the world of evil, creating a "new" world that he'll stand at the top of as a God. But despite the overwhelming support the public has for Kira, there are those who believe that he is nothing but a murderer. And despite the risk of being killed himself, it's L's goal to bring Kira to justice. As the top detective in the world, L has never lost a case, choosing them based on his personal interest; so it's no surprise that the Kira investigation would pique his curiosity. For every step Light takes, L is right behind him, slowing putting the pieces together to figure out Kira's mysterious methods of killing.
But according to L, he and Kira are the same; that they are both immature and hate to lose. However, he is dead-set on his beliefs, suspecting that Light is Kira to his face, while at the same time calling him the first real friend he's ever made. With a love of sweets and a preference of crouching in chairs instead of sitting normally (it decreases his investigative abilities by 40%, you know) it's not surprising that people find him to be a bit, well, weird.
Residents of Camp Fuck You Die, good afternoon. You may call me L.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a problem in this encampment regarding the sweets the populace has been consuming. Cheap, inexpensive off-brand candy has been distributed in place of higher quality name brands, resulting in a 38% increase in stomachaches and other such effects. Not only that, but my investigation has also found that there are name brands in circulation that were left over from past holidays; Halloween candy from last year, and in some cases, the year before that. This brings the percentage to an overwhelming 46.7%.
This is unacceptable.
However, quantity over quality is not always the best method, and I believe that the information I have gathered proves it. You, the campers, should still be allowed access to candy you can enjoy, not suffer from. I have taken it upon myself to make this happen, that the candy you are given from now on is both delicious and abides by whatever rules are already in place, as it's clear that there is some sort of discrimination against products containing sugar in effect. I will make sure that you have access to name brand sweets that have been thoroughly tested and proven safe for consumption. I believe this will cause the percentage I mentioned earlier to drop dramatically.
Not only that, but I will find the persons responsible for this as well. They have been allowed free reign with your candy for too long, and it's time that someone discovers their identities and makes them pay for their crimes. I fully encourage those with information regarding this matter to contact me. An investigation team to handle these tips will be assembled and we will be working to handle this matter as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Despite this, I am giving the criminals the option of stepping forward and revealing themselves. Mercy will be shown to those brave enough to do this. For those who do not, the harshest of punishments will be dealt. Candy is serious business, no matter what you believe or what you've been told. If you think I'm bluffing, feel free to continue as you are. It's only a matter of time.
Camp Fuck You Die, thank you for your time. I, L, promise that I will bring these criminals to justice.
voting went here | 83.6% in
Series: Death Note
Character Age: 24
Job: Candy Inspector
Canon: The Death Note is a notebook capable of killing anyone whose name is written on its pages; but according to Yagami Light, it's justice. Known as the mysterious killer "Kira", Light has taken it upon himself to judge those who the law has failed in hopes of cleansing the world of evil, creating a "new" world that he'll stand at the top of as a God. But despite the overwhelming support the public has for Kira, there are those who believe that he is nothing but a murderer. And despite the risk of being killed himself, it's L's goal to bring Kira to justice. As the top detective in the world, L has never lost a case, choosing them based on his personal interest; so it's no surprise that the Kira investigation would pique his curiosity. For every step Light takes, L is right behind him, slowing putting the pieces together to figure out Kira's mysterious methods of killing.
But according to L, he and Kira are the same; that they are both immature and hate to lose. However, he is dead-set on his beliefs, suspecting that Light is Kira to his face, while at the same time calling him the first real friend he's ever made. With a love of sweets and a preference of crouching in chairs instead of sitting normally (it decreases his investigative abilities by 40%, you know) it's not surprising that people find him to be a bit, well, weird.
Residents of Camp Fuck You Die, good afternoon. You may call me L.
It has been brought to my attention that there is a problem in this encampment regarding the sweets the populace has been consuming. Cheap, inexpensive off-brand candy has been distributed in place of higher quality name brands, resulting in a 38% increase in stomachaches and other such effects. Not only that, but my investigation has also found that there are name brands in circulation that were left over from past holidays; Halloween candy from last year, and in some cases, the year before that. This brings the percentage to an overwhelming 46.7%.
This is unacceptable.
However, quantity over quality is not always the best method, and I believe that the information I have gathered proves it. You, the campers, should still be allowed access to candy you can enjoy, not suffer from. I have taken it upon myself to make this happen, that the candy you are given from now on is both delicious and abides by whatever rules are already in place, as it's clear that there is some sort of discrimination against products containing sugar in effect. I will make sure that you have access to name brand sweets that have been thoroughly tested and proven safe for consumption. I believe this will cause the percentage I mentioned earlier to drop dramatically.
Not only that, but I will find the persons responsible for this as well. They have been allowed free reign with your candy for too long, and it's time that someone discovers their identities and makes them pay for their crimes. I fully encourage those with information regarding this matter to contact me. An investigation team to handle these tips will be assembled and we will be working to handle this matter as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Despite this, I am giving the criminals the option of stepping forward and revealing themselves. Mercy will be shown to those brave enough to do this. For those who do not, the harshest of punishments will be dealt. Candy is serious business, no matter what you believe or what you've been told. If you think I'm bluffing, feel free to continue as you are. It's only a matter of time.
Camp Fuck You Die, thank you for your time. I, L, promise that I will bring these criminals to justice.
voting went here | 83.6% in