It’s not fair; you’re pretty. (1/1)

[eleanor126]

Title: It’s not fair; you’re pretty. 
Author: eleanor126
Beta: My friend (she doesn't have lj)
Pairing: Frank/Gerard 
Rating: PG13
Warning: Nothing much, teenage angst maybe.
Disclaimer: I don't own the character’s but I do own the story. 
Summary: Frank meets Gerard three times and that’s all it takes.

Comments

[momiji_neyuki]

I like that idea of it being his imagination. It fits in with the story better. Maybe you would want to do an edit just to make this clearer. Other wise it is a nice read. I enjoyed the angst of poor Frank and his unrequited love. Ray as always the semblance of right and wrong. Yay for the silent genius. ^-^

[eleanor126]

Yeah, I feel like I should some how make this clearer, I just wasn't sure how to write it so it worked. I'm glad you enjoyed it though! And yeah, Ray's my favourite character in all of this :)

[momiji_neyuki]

I hate giving constructive Criticism. it makes me feel so guilty. Maybe you could add a paragraph before the final one. Perhaps Frank could leave the place and be outside or just go home and dream.

Sorry, I am trying to voice in words what I see in my head. That alone should tell you that it is a good story because i have a very vivid picture of the whole scene. Only truly talented people can achieve that through writing. ^-^

[eleanor126]

Oh no, I love that you're giving me constructive criticism! Its really helpful :D Ooh I like the idea of him going outside... I might try work on this tonight.

Haha aww wow thank you! I think its like easier for me to write and make it seem realistic because its like based on real life partly.

[eleanor126]

Thank you! Yay, I'm glad that's how it came across, that's how I was trying to make it seem, like yeah really teenagery. AH I'm really glad you enjoyed it! :)