Fic: The Life That Was (2/4), Crossover Leverage/A:tS, PG-13

[elebridith]

Title: The Life That Was

Author: elebridith

Rating: NC-17 overall, this part is PG-13

Disclaimer: Not mine. Nothing, no one. Just playing.

Genre: slash, crossover

Pairings: Lindsey/Eliot

Other characters: Nathan Ford, Angel, Spike. Brief appearances by the rest of Team Leverage.

Summary: Lindsey has to face his past - Los Angeles, old enemies, contract issues. Part of the Face Value!verse.

Beta'd and southernified by the incomparable havenward . *tacklehugs* Also thanks to cyphersushi  for giving it another pair of eyes and honeyjojames  for the steady muse feeding!

Part One is here


"No. No, please no. Lindsey? Baby, please. Wake up!" Eliot shakes the bloodied broken body he has cradled in his lap. He knows it's hopeless - he has seen death far too often and he is able to recognize fatal wounds all too well. Despite this knowledge, he continues to search for a sign that Lindsey is still alive - and freezes. As impossible as it is, Lindsey's body begins to move.

"Lindsey…?" He knows something is wrong, but he refuses to think logically now. He allows himself some hope before the the horror kicks in. Lindsey opens his eyes, and Eliot knows with brutal clarity that his lover is gone - those eyes are dead. No emotions, no soul, no love anywhere in them.

Eliot drops the stirring body and leaps back, desperately trying to deny to himself what he sees. He can hear a voice from the past in his head - "you can kill me again" - and all of a sudden he has a sword in his hands. Lindsey's sword, the one they brought with him from Los Angeles, the only physical reminder of his previous life.

He stares at the blade, then back at the thing that once was Lindsey McDonald. He - it stands and now grins at him, taunting. "Hello, Eliot," it says, and although the tone is gleeful, the voice sounds... off. Cracked bell, Eliot thinks, too shrill, not Lindsey, this is not...  The creature cackles madly. "Glad to see him? You know what he wants you to do. Can you? Can you?"

Eliot whispers "no" and tries to open his hands to drop the sword, but it seems to be glued to his palms. He tries to scream, but his throat is closed, no sound comes out. The Lindsey-Thing laughs, and that sound is nowhere near that laugh Eliot has come to love over the last months - it's merciless and scornful.

"Come on, Spencer, do it. You gave your word. Or are ya gonna break it?" It looks at Eliot, who feels frozen in place now, cocks its head and does a parody of a concerned smile that becomes another scornful laugh. "You don't have the balls. You're gonna let him down, right? He trusted you, Spencer. It was your promise that let him sleep at night. You're gonna fail him?"

Eliot tightens the grip around the sword hilt. Again he whispers "no" but this time the despair is gone. He knows what he has to do, and something inside him dies, but he smiles. The sword seems to lift itself up as he steps closer to the grinning figure in front of him, focusing on its neck.

"I keep my word."

And he swings the weapon down.

Lindsey was already awake. He had felt Eliot thrashing around in his sleep and reached out to wake him, but at that moment Eliot almost bolted out of the bed, wildly looking around, clearly not realizing where he was. Lindsey knew better than to touch him right now - he made the mistake once before, and caught a reflexive punch in the shoulder. He settled for a sharp "Eliot?" and stayed out of reach. When he got no reaction he tried again. "Eliot? Come on, wake up!"

Eliot blinked and recognition slowly returned to his eyes. "Lindsey?" His voice cracked a little, and he took a deep breath.

Lindsey sighed with relief and slid nearer so that he could press against Eliot's back and put his arm around him. "What's up, darlin'? Nightmare?" He flinched when he realized he'd used the casual endearment. He frowned when he realized that Eliot didn't even seem to notice, a sure sign that he was more shaken than Lindsey had ever seen him. What's going on?

Eliot didn't answer. He leaned back into the embrace, closing his eyes and obviously trying to calm down. He slowly let himself fall back on the bed with Lindsey next to him. And then for a moment, Lindsey was absolutely certain that the next apocalypse had arrived and the world would end in a few minutes. Because Eliot Spencer did not start cuddling. Ever. Lindsey had learned that much in the months since they got together. Lindsey was always the one to show his affection more openly. Eliot liked being embraced (although he'd never admit it) and clearly had gotten used to Lindsey's occasional nightly snuggling, but he was never the one to initiate it.

But now... Eliot still didn't say anything, but he slid up to Lindsey's side and curled against him in a silent plea for comfort. He reluctantly placed his hand on Lindsey's chest and dropped his head on his shoulder, almost burying his face. Lindsey's breath caught in his throat for a moment, and then he wrapped his arm around Eliot's shoulders, pulled him closer and kissed his hair. "Eliot? Darlin'? What is it?" This time he used the word deliberately, hoping to get a reaction.

Eliot didn't move. His eyes were closed, and when he finally spoke his voice was rough as if he had been screaming for hours. "I had to kill you."

Lindsey felt like a ton of bricks had hit him. For a moment he couldn't breathe. He clenched his free hand to a fist, angry at himself for doing this to Eliot and furious at Wolfram and Hart. So that's it. He gave me his fucking word on this, and now... He just tightened his embrace some more and slowly brushed his fingertips over the skin on Eliot's shoulders. Finally he could feel him relax a little and a few seconds later Eliot looked up, eyes haunted.

"You died. And came back. And I had… had to… I had the sword. And you called me on it. You were dead. I killed you."

Lindsey finally looked at him, concerned but firm. "No, you didn't. Remember one thing, please - it won't be the real me anymore. Not alive. It will look like me, talk like me, even act like me because of the whole almost-free-will thing that is trapped inside a dead body." He choked on his words for a moment, but forced his voice back into neutral. "You... don't want that living with you. And as soon as I'm forced to go back… you know what will happen." He looked into Eliot's eyes, willing him to understand. "Don't show mercy. It's not."

Eliot nodded slowly. "Yeah." His voice was still rough, but he felt less shaken now. His breathing evened out. He searched Lindsey's face curiously. "How can you be so calm about it? Dying is one thing, but this..." His voice wavered a little.

Lindsey's face now showed that smile Eliot could remember from Lindsey's explanation when he first arrived eight months ago - the hardest, most bitter smile Eliot had ever seen. "I lived with it for years. Either you get used to it or you go crazy." Another thought suddenly seem to occur to him. He looked alarmed. "Eliot - do you ever had prophetic dreams? That came true?"

Eliot was surprised for a moment, and then shook his head. "No. Never."

Lindsey grinned a bit, looking relieved. "Good. That's good to know."

Eliot chuckled weakly. "Last thing I'd need," he said in a valiant try to lighten up the situation. It didn't work, not on himself anyway. He dropped his head on Lindsey's shoulder again. A voice echoed through his head again. "It was your promise that let him sleep at night."

"I keep my word." The words were barely audible, but Lindsey must have heard them. Eliot felt another kiss pressed on his hair, followed by a whispered "Thank you."

Eliot closed his eyes, shut out all his survival instincts screaming at him - face the door, make sure you can always move - and allowed himself to relax against Lindsey's warm body. Lindsey continued to caress his shoulders until Eliot finally dozed off again. He barely felt Lindsey shifting a bit to a more comfortable position without breaking the body contact before he completely drifted off to sleep.

Eliot didn't mention the dream again. In the morning they just got up and prepared to leave. Luggage ready, they headed to Nate's place. Nate looked a little worried since it was obvious that Eliot had not been sleeping very well. But his questioning looks got no answers and he didn't ask further. He had booked them a flight to Los Angeles with fake papers Hardison had forged for them.

Nate handed them over. "I thought it would be best if we make you related," he explained. "People will notice your physical resemblance. And Hardison faked a message to the original buyer so he's gonna show up later."

"So he'll stay out of y'all's hair," Hardison added. He wasn't quite able to hide his grin as he watched the two men studying the flight schedule. "Brothers," he pointed out again, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Means you have to keep your hands off each other in public. Got that? Don't wanna get you arrested. Sorry 'bout that, but if I'd made you a married couple, you'll certainly draw even more attention…" He grinned even wider as Eliot slowly shook his head and sighed resignedly.

They had their final briefing and then the "brothers" Thompson were on their way.

Los Angeles, the next afternoon

Nate had booked them a middle class hotel room in the area of the meeting point. With a relieved sigh Eliot slipped into his usual clothes again. He had been wearing his "IT nerd look" for the flight while Lindsey had dressed like a lawyer. Eliot discovered that he really, really liked that look and had to remind himself a few times that casually kissing his "brother" in public while some flight attendants were watching was not a good idea. They caught up on that once they'd reached the privacy of the hotel room, but now they had to get ready for hitting the streets.

Before the flight Eliot had watched in awe as Lindsey worked a spell which had turned his sword into a barely hand-sized pocket knife. Usually Lindsey left the sword in its normal state but a full-sized medieval-looking weapon would have been a hard thing to explain to airport security. So he had checked the harmless-looking pocket-size version which he now dug out of his suitcase. Lindsey quickly changed into jeans and a flannel shirt and pocketed the knife, and Eliot hoped fiercely that he didn't need to use it. After spreading a few things in the room that fitted their aliases Lindsey gave Eliot a questioning look. "So, let's go through the plan again. I still hate to let you go alone, but I don't think it's a good idea if my face shows up twice in one place. Especially if it's a demon bar."

Eliot nodded. "Exactly.  Okay, we got the comms, we'll stay in touch through them. I'll go in, check out the scene, and make myself familiar with the place. You stay outside, watch my back, and give me a call if something's weird. Mark for the job is showing up tomorrow morning, around eleven." He pointed at the city map. "It's here. We can walk there. Ready?"

Lindsey rubbed his nose, took one last look at the map and grinned. "Yeah. The sooner we finish this, the better."

They left their room and headed outside.  Almost instantly Eliot felt it - this weird feeling that something was wrong with his vision. He'd already noticed it while they'd driven over from the airport, but it had been dark then and he hadn't been able to put his finger on it, but now he couldn't help but pick up on it. He shook his head, blinked a few times and then took his glasses off, rubbed his eyes carefully and put them on again. It didn't get better - he still felt as though he was looking at a double-exposed photo where the edges were slightly blurred.

Lindsey noticed his fidgeting. He gave him a concerned look. "What's wrong?"

Eliot shrugged. "Don't know. Can't seem to see clearly." He shook his head as if to get water out of his ears and blinked rapidly a few times.

Lindsey frowned. "Somethin' in your eyes? Got dust in'm?"

Eliot shook his head. "No, no. Completely different - weird. You see that guy over there? For a moment I thought he had a.. tail." He gave a little embarrassed laugh. "Y'know those postcards you can tilt and the picture changes? Kinda like that."

Lindsey narrowed his eyes and then turned around. He looked around him, letting his vision slightly shift out of focus, and then made a triumphant sound. "Ah. It's a spell. Nice work."

Eliot looked alarmed. "A spell? Doesn't turn me into a frog or something, right?"

Lindsey had to laugh. "If you turn into a frog, I'll kiss ya to break the spell, don't worry." He teasingly waggled his eyebrows, but turned serious again at Eliot's exasperated glare. "But no, nothing like that. It's a glamour. Just messes with your brain a bit - makes you see what you expect to see. It didn't work with me because I already knew what the city would look like and I know demons when I see'em, but on L.A.'s everyday citizens and tourists? Works pretty good." They started walking again. Eliot pondered the information and nodded, understanding.

"Got it." He motioned to Lindsey to continue.

Lindsey made a sweeping gesture as they walked on. "Most people don't believe in demons and monsters. They expect to see a regular guy in a business suit, not someone with a tail. Or all these shoddy buildings and streets. Looks like the basic repairs have been done, but no more. So the spell lets them see what they think they should see - Los Angeles as glittering as usual. Pretty nifty if there's a war going on and you don't want the whole world to know. Must have kicked in shortly after you brought me to Chicago - remember, all of the disaster reports stopped suddenly."

Eliot nodded again. "Yeah, I remember." He frowned suddenly, looking alarmed again. "Does it just mask things or can it hide something completely?

Lindsey shook his head. "No. Invisibility spells are much harder to maintain."

Eliot looked satisfied. "Good. So no one can sneak up on me. Is there any way to get rid of it? It's annoying as hell."

They both chuckled at the comparison. Lindsey shrugged apologetically. "Usually I'd just work a counter spell, but I ain't usin' magic anymore. Would be the best way to put me on their radar again. There are other ways, not as reliable, but..."  He thought about it for a while and then stopped walking. "I think this will work. Look at me." He remembered at the last second that they were in public and that cupping Eliot's face in a very intimate looking way may not be the best idea. Eliot saw the small movement and grinned knowingly. Lindsey's lips twitched. "Y'have to wait for that 'til later, darlin'." He grew serious again. "Now. Look me in the eyes, and try to see that building over there just out of the corner of your eye. But don't try too hard to see it. Got it?"

Lindsey half-expected another joke, but Eliot just exhaled slowly and fixed his eyes on Lindsey's face, relaxing visibly. His surprised gasp a few moments later told Lindsey that Eliot had just seen what he himself saw too  - the building's outer appearance shifted from shiny new skyscraper to old and half torn down. Eliot blinked and then huffed out a laugh. "Lost it. Lemme try again." He focused on Lindsey's eyes again and made a pleased noise almost immediately afterwards. "Hah. Got it." He slowly looked away from Lindsey's face and around the area. He grinned smugly. "And I can keep it up."

Lindsey looked proud. "Very good. Once you know how it works, it gets easier every time. How about that guy over there?" He pointed at a passing figure that looked like an ordinary jogger in blue sweatpants and a washed out t-shirt.

Eliot watched a blinking advert next to the guy and then smiled, satisfied. "Creepy. Blue skin, scales, claws." He answered Lindsey's appreciative grin with one of his own. "Good. I feel better now."

Lindsey hid himself in some shadowy alley where he could watch the entrance door to the small venue simply called Gary's. Eliot entered the bar alone. Now that they were here, he wasn't scared anymore, not for himself anyway and for Eliot - well, maybe still a little. He frowned as he suddenly only heard static noises on his comm. He tapped on it. "Eliot?" Nothing. A faint little buzz, but no voices, no background noises, nothing. He frowned even more and took the comm out. Come on, you damn piece of shit. You can't just die on me here. He shook it a little and put it back in his ear, but still nothing. He felt a little flare of panic rising. If Eliot couldn't reach him - Fuck being noticed. I'm going in there.

Suddenly a hand closed tight around his throat and a familiar voice purred in his ear. "Look what I found here. The cowboy's still alive. What a surprise." The grip on his throat tightened, and for a split second Lindsey struggled with both the air deprivation and the shock of being caught so easily. But his mind still worked as fast as usual. He stopped struggling all of a sudden and threw himself backwards with all his strength. He heard the surprised yelp of his attacker and the grip on his throat loosened. Snuck up on me - vampire. Knows me. Not Angel. Not his voice, not tall enough. I know that voice. Spike. He twisted free and whirled around.

Spike had already found his balance again and ducked as if he wanted to attack, but then relaxed and started to laugh. "Lindsey McDonald. I'll be bloody damned. Now that's a face I never expected to see again!"

Lindsey refrained from rubbing his bruised throat and just nodded. "Spike. You look… good. Always the survivor, huh?"

Spike's face turned angry at those words. "Yeah. And unlike someone else, I did not chicken out from that battle in the alley." He almost spat out the words with disgust and sneered. "I thought you were honest, those last few days before that battle. Really thought you'd changed, bloody fool that I am. When you didn't show up, well, I thought you didn't make it, were killed by those Sahrvins. But - " He pointed at Lindsey, accusingly, face already morphed into vampire mode. " - here you are, alive and well. That means? You ran, Lindsey, you left us alone to fight. I'm surprised you have the nerve to show up here again!"

Astonished by the rant, Lindsey stared at him for a few seconds. Then the words really sank in. He broke into an amused grin and then in a full laugh as he realized that Spike really didn't know the whole story.

Spike stared at him and growled. "Cowboy - what's so bloody funny?" He looked like he was ready to attack again, already tensed up and flexing his fingers.

Lindsey caught his breath. "You - you don't know. Right? He didn't tell you, right? Oh that - fuckin' bastard." He grinned at Spike, that smug grin that had always provoked the vampire before.

It worked. With another growl Spike finally launched at him, grabbed his shirt and shoved him against the wall, pinning him there. "Spill it, cowboy. No more games!"

Lindsey didn't stop grinning. "I was almost killed. But not by the Sahrvins, Spike. Guess who tried to shoot me? After I finished my part of the job?"

Spike let go of his shirt and took a step back. His face was human again and he looked stunned. "Lorne? Lorne was with you - did he…?"

Lindsey lost his smug expression now. "Yes. He did. But not on his own. On Angel's orders. Said it was Angel's plan."

Surprise changed to disbelief and then to pure anger on Spike's face. "Angel? Angel wanted to kill you? After you wanted to help?" Lindsey nodded. Spike gritted his teeth. He fought for control over his anger and finally calmed down a bit. "Guess he didn't believe you. How typical. How… how did you survive, then? Did Lorne back off at the last moment?"

"No. I was lucky." Lindsey had to smile a little fondly at the memory. "More than I actually deserved  - someone saved me."

Spike looked curious. "Who?"

"A… friend. He's in there right now." Lindsey pointed to the bar, and then remembered the non-working comm. He took it out again. "And I can't reach him."

Spike took a look at the little gadget and laughed. "If your friend's in there, then this thing won't work. Gary's is a famous hot spot for demons and humans from our underworld, pet. The owner has set up a protecting spell that takes out all electronic things like that. Equal chances for everyone to make deals without being spied on."

Lindsey cursed and stored the gadget in his pocket. "Fuck. Listen, Spike." He gave him a sarcastic look, although he wasn't quite able to keep his anxiety out of his voice. "I really enjoyed our conversation, but I have to get in there. Now."

Spike's hand shot forward and closed around Lindsey's wrist. "Not so fast, cowboy. First, I still have a few questions for you, and second, you didn't see it, but Angel just went in there. I'm supposed to meet him now."

Lindsey froze, eyes widening. "Angel… went in there? Spike, let me go! If he's still after me, he's gonna kill Eliot!"

"So your friend's called Eliot, huh?" Spike tilted his head. "Relax, pet. Why should Angel attack him? It's not like this Eliot has a sign around his neck saying 'I'm a friend of Lindsey McDonald, just kill me', right?"

Lindsey stared at him and huffed a desperate little laugh. "Spike - you have no idea."

Part Three is here.