Fic: The Life That Was (3/4), Crossover Leverage/A:tS, NC-17

[elebridith]

Title: The Life That Was

Author: elebridith

Rating: NC-17 overall, this part is NC-17

Disclaimer: Not mine. Nothing, no one. Just playing.

Genre: slash, crossover

Pairings: Lindsey/Eliot

Other characters: Nathan Ford, Angel, Spike. Brief appearances by the rest of Team Leverage.

Summary: Lindsey has to face his past - Los Angeles, old enemies, contract issues. Part of the Face Value!Verse.

Beta'd and southernified by the incomparable havenward . *tacklehugs* Also thanks to cyphersushi  for giving it another pair of eyes and honeyjojames  for the steady muse feeding!

Part Two is here.


As Lindsey had half expected, the vampire wasn't convinced that easily. Spike insisted on keeping him company and simply dragged him to a back door entrance of the bar, still keeping a firm hold on Lindsey's wrist. "Now keep quiet, cowboy. I wanna have a little fun." He raised an eyebrow and stated lightly "You run in there screaming, I'll have to gag you. Okay?"

Lindsey furiously glared at him but decided not to be rash now. "If Angel attacks Eliot..."

Spike gave him an impatient look while he shoved Lindsey forward. "I told you, cowboy, now why would he even recognize... oh." His eyes wandered across the nearly empty room and had caught sight of Eliot sitting on one of those wooden bar chairs, sipping a drink. Spike's jaw dropped. "Now that's... interesting."

He let go of Lindsey's arm. Lindsey took a quick step inside, but stopped in his tracks when he saw Angel appear beside Eliot. Lindsey tensed, ready to intervene, but Angel just looked stunned, showing no signs that he would attack immediately. Lindsey saw Angel's mouth open and close twice before Angel finally managed to speak.

"Lindsey??"

Eliot looked up, somewhat surprised that Lindsey hadn't warned him about an incoming acquaintance. He registered that the bartender - no fighter, but watch out for the claws - and the two remaining customers - no threat at all - had more or less casually retreated to the back of the bar upon the sight of his opponent so that they were alone now. He eyed the man before him curiously, automatically evaluating his physical capabilities. Tall, broad. Moves like - ah. Fighter. Martial arts. And no scales or anything.

"Lindsey?" the man repeated, and Eliot frowned.

Why does he know - oh. His brain made the connection to "tall, dark and broody" which was how Lindsey always had mockingly described... "Angel." He worked very hard to keep his voice calm despite the sudden growing fury inside him. The fuckin' vampire who wanted to kill Lindsey.

Angel retreated a bit, still looking astonished and disbelieving and just a little bit suspicious. "You - you can't be here. You're dead."

Eliot gritted his teeth, but glancing over Angel's shoulder he noticed two people standing in the back of the room. A slender figure with white-blond hair and a black duster - must be Spike his mind offered helpfully - and Lindsey beside him, frozen in place but obviously unhurt. Eliot's whole body tensed and his thoughts raced. What the fuck? Why didn't Lindsey warn me? And the he realized in a heartbeat that he hadn't heard anything in the past few minutes. I thought he was just keeping silent, but they must have talked. Means that comms are off. Shit. Okay. Deal with the vampire first. He looked into Angel's eyes and raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm not. I feel quite well actually, thanks for asking." he answered, managing to sound unimpressed.

Angel shook his head and clenched his fists. "No, no you can't. There's no way you could have come back."

Lindsey frowned. Why doesn't he -  And then it struck him. He gasped in surprise and turned to Spike. "He's human? Angel is human?"

Spike looked at him, somewhat confused. He shrugged. "Well, yeah. Shanshu hit, about two days after the alley fight. How did you..."

Lindsey visibly relaxed and started to laugh quietly. "He still doesn't recognize that it's not me. Means he has no heightened senses anymore, means he's human."

Spike nodded appreciatively. "You got it. And believe me, he's quite pissed about it." He gave Lindsey a curious look. "And you're all of a sudden not worried about your friend anymore?"

A smug expression spread over Lindsey's face. "I have yet to meet the human who can take out Eliot Spencer."

Spike eyed him up and down, turned his head to Eliot and then back to Lindsey, slowly returning the smug grin. "Except you, in the bedroom department, right?"

Fucking heightened smell sense. Lindsey rolled his eyes. "So what?" he asked in a pointedly casual tone.

Spike grinned widely now. "Nothing... absolutely nothing."

Lindsey rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Sure." They both quickly turned their attention back to the other two men as they heard Eliot's voice now.

"Now why wouldn't I come back? Perpetuity clause, remember?" Eliot tilted his head and gave Angel a curious look.

Angel was visibly worked up now. He balled his fists and looked close to hitting the next table. "But - we made a deal."

Spike shook his head, confused. He grabbed Lindsey's shoulder, leaned in and whispered: "What is he talking about?" Lindsey just shook his head and held his breath as he tried to make sense of it all.

Eliot straightened and squared his shoulders, looking quizzical. "What deal?"

Angel all but stomped his foot now and looked like a child who just lost a privilege. "I canceled your contract! I wanted to make sure you stay dead!"

The world seemed to freeze for a moment.

Lindsey choked out "What?" His mind stopped working briefly only to go into overdrive seconds later. The revelation made his head spin. He staggered a few steps forward and grabbed the backrest of a chair for support. He... he canceled... I'm... but the Senior Partners never... never ever... unless... oh God. "He knew." He wanted to scream it, but it only came out as a hoarse whisper, barely audible even to himself. "He knew."

Next to him Spike slammed his hands on the table next to him. "What the hell are you talking about, Angel?" It was asked loud enough for Angel to hear it, but the ex-vampire was so occupied with his own rage that he didn't hear it. He just stood there, staring at Eliot, waiting for an answer, eyes blazing with a mixture of fear and annoyance.

Eliot didn't move a muscle, didn't blink, even stopped breathing for a moment. He did what? He... wanted to make sure... Eliot felt a surge of anger boiling up inside of him. He remembered Lindsey's bitter smile - "I don't wanna end up like that." - his own nightmare and the gnawing pain he felt about his promise, about maybe having to finally kill someone he - He forced himself to break off the thought.

He could only see Angel through a haze of red now. You're dead, vampire. He slowly slid off the bar stool he had been sitting on, never taking his eyes off his target. Angel's eyes widened. He took a step backwards, expecting to be attacked. Eliot stood still for a moment, forced himself to exhale, waiting for the red haze to lift a little and then he moved. He hooked his ankle around one of the stool legs and pulled. The wooden bar stool toppled upside down. Eliot grabbed one of the legs and kicked fiercely at its base, making the wood splinter and producing an improvised stake in return. He gripped it so tight that his knuckles turned white and whirled around, ready to throw himself at Angel.

Lindsey saw Eliot's face darken. He knew what the other man was thinking and as he saw him sliding off the stool he snapped out of his stupor and rushed forward. "Eliot! NO!"

His voice was probably the only sound in the world that could stop Eliot mid-move now. Stake still raised and tightly gripped, eyes still fixed on Angel who retreated fast, Eliot stopped. "One. Good. Reason." He gritted the words out through clenched teeth.

Lindsey made another step forward and placed a hand on Eliot's shoulder. His mind still whirled. "Don't. He's human."

Eliot let his arm drop and turned his head now to look at Lindsey. He looked astonished, but still was tense and ready to attack. "Say that again."

Lindsey squeezed Eliot's shoulder gently. "He's human, Eliot. It's over."

Eliot searched Lindsey's face and then slowly nodded. "Okay then." He relaxed a little. Lindsey could see him force his fingers to open and the stake clattered to the ground.

Lindsey released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. His grip on Eliot's shoulder changed from a reassuring squeeze to holding on for balance, but he managed to forcefully suppress his inner turmoil for the moment. He straightened and gave Eliot a quick smile. Eliot narrowed his eyes and gave him a worried look, but Lindsey shook his head. "Later."

Angel's jaw dropped, and he looked from one man to the other, understanding now that he had been talking to the wrong guy. He cleared his throat, took two steps towards them again and retreated to what he'd always done best around Lindsey - biting sarcasm. "Now look at that. How sweet - the prodigal son returns. And brought himself a boy toy. That's... cute."

Eliot just looked at him again and whatever Angel had wanted to add as insult died in his throat. Lindsey turned around, took a step forward and studied Angel with a contemptuous look. Then he looked him in the eyes. "You haven't realized it yet, Angel - " His voice had returned to lawyer mode - southern drawl gone, hard as steel and ice-cold. " - but I just saved your life." He grinned humorlessly, just a snarly curl of his lips.

Angel narrowed his eyes and then snorted with disdain. "Please. I may be human now, but I'm still faster than - "

And then Angel was on the ground, pressing his fingers to his bleeding broken nose and making a noise that sounded embarrassingly like wailing.

Eliot looked like he hadn't been moving at all - he was standing in the same place, one step behind Lindsey, but his eyes showed a glint of satisfaction. He absently rubbed the side of his right hand and tilted his head, looking down on the groaning figure on the floor. "No, you're not."

Lindsey tried in vain to suppress his mocking grin, and Spike didn't even try. "You know, peaches - you had that coming." Spike pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. He took a deep drag and slowly exhaled the smoke before looking back at Angel. His grin got even broader. Angel just growled in response and tried to wipe the blood from both his face and his shirt. Spike chuckled, offered a hand and effortlessly pulled Angel back on his feet again. Angel wiped his nose again and turned to Lindsey. He opened his mouth to say something, but Lindsey cut him off.

"Angel - I'm not really interested in your whiny rambling right now. I only need to know one thing. You wanted me dead once. Is that still true? Will you still try to kill me as soon as your nose stops bleeding?"

Angel tried to snort again, but a sharp pain in his nose reminded him that he didn't own the vampire healing factor anymore. "Lindsey - you're pathetic. As if you still would be important enough for me to kill you."

The words would have sounded a lot more stinging if Angel didn't sound like he had a really bad cold, Lindsey decided. He tilted his head, tone of his voice still controlled. He had the upper hand here and he knew it. "Don't give me that bullshit, Angel. I was important enough for you to contact the Senior Partners. Important enough for you to go into the lion's den and make a deal with the devil." Lindsey's voice sharpened just a tiny bit. "How does it feel, champ, to know that you're at least partly responsible for the state of L.A. as it is now? To know that this time you can't blame it on me?"

Lindsey could see out of the corner of his eye that Eliot frowned and shook his head in confusion. But Eliot didn't interrupt, just kept watching the two men instead, still looking alert.

A menacing growl that escaped Spike's throat caught Lindsey's attention. The blond vampire looked like he had an epiphany. A bad one. "Angel? Now that is something we WILL talk about later, hear me?" The conclusions Lindsey had drawn already seemed to hit him now. He stared at Angel, and looking like he couldn't decide if he should rip out his throat now or later.

To his credit, Angel didn't throw a fit. He merely flinched at Lindsey's words, ignoring Spike for the moment. "I thought... they said you... but I didn't believe them. Had no reason to."

Lindsey's eyes glared daggers and the temperature of his voice dropped another ten degrees. "But you trusted them to really cancel my contract."

Angel shrugged. "They did. I checked."

Lindsey decided for the sake of his self-restraint not to dig any further. Instead he repeated his earlier question with a little more emphasis. "You didn't answer. Am I still on your list of people to kill?"

Angel shook his head, managing to look peeved. "No. Really, I have more important things at hand here. As long as you don't get in my way, I'd be happy to never see you again."

Lindsey gave him a sharp look and snorted. "That feeling is mutual, believe me. Do I have your word on this?"

Angel sighed. "Yes, you have."

"Very well." Lindsey gave him a dismissive nod.

Eliot looked astounded. "You trust him?"

Lindsey shrugged. "I don't have much choice, do I?"

Eliot turned to Angel and stepped forward until he was only inches away from him. His tone of voice was almost casual. "Then let me add something to the deal. I don't believe people who back stab others, but I'll let that slide this time. Because, if you lie, if you dare to make an attempt at killing him or me - " He tilted his head and Lindsey could see that he gave Angel that brilliant self-confident smile of his. The one that didn't reach his eyes this time. " - you better take out both of us at once. Because if you fail in that, if one of us survives - you're dead. You can take my word on this." Not waiting for an answer, Eliot reached behind him without turning around and gently touched Lindsey on the shoulder. "Let's go." He nodded a thanks to Spike who gave him a mock salute and nudged Lindsey towards the exit, pointedly shielding him from Angel.

Lindsey stopped suddenly, turned back to Spike and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry I played you before."

Spike looked genuinely surprised. "'s okay, cowboy", he finally said. "Good luck."

Lindsey smiled a little. "You too." Then he turned around again and both men walked towards the door. Lindsey grinned involuntarily as he heard Spike growling "Angel? You better have one hell of an explanation for this!" He threw a quick look back over his shoulder, just in time to see Angel wince. His grin broadened for a moment and he could hear Eliot chuckle. Lindsey was sure that Spike wouldn't make it an easy conversation.

They didn't say a word during the walk back to the hotel. The adrenaline rush that had allowed Lindsey to control the situation in the bar seemed to wear off quickly. He was breathing a little too fast and was so lost in thoughts that he didn't really seem to realize where he was going. More than once it was just the steady touch of Eliot's hands that kept Lindsey from stumbling. As soon as the hotel room door closed behind them, Lindsey's knees gave out and with a small sobbing noise he sagged against Eliot's chest, clutching at his arms for support. Eliot caught him gently, holding him for a moment, and then helped him sitting down on the bed. Lindsey just sat there, breathing fast, eyes closed. Finally he looked up at Eliot and smiled weakly. "I'm okay. Really."

Eliot looked down at him, smiled back encouragingly and then headed over to the coffeemaker. He crinkled his nose in disgust at the ancient tea bags that slumbered peacefully in a worn basket, but he decided that they would just have to do this time. Ten minutes later he pressed a mug of hot Ceylon tea complete with cream and sugar into Lindsey's hands. "Drink. Slowly. Not the best tea, I'm afraid, but it will calm you down."

Lindsey stared at the mug and began to laugh helplessly, as if he had expected everything but this. But he obeyed, slowly sipping the sweet hot liquid while Eliot crouched down beside him, placed his hand on Lindsey's knee and softly stroked it with his thumb. Lindsey actually started to look better, less pale, after a few minutes. He sat the empty mug down and looked at Eliot with a smile that was much more genuine now. "Thanks. It helped."

Eliot looked satisfied for the moment and stood up. "Of course it did." His pleased expression faded quickly and he gave Lindsey a concerned look. "You want to talk about it?"

Lindsey looked down, sighed and slowly shook his head. "No. Not yet. I still… can't quite grasp it myself. He… he knew it, and still…" He looked into Eliot's eyes again. "Later, honestly. But… " He rubbed his temples and then smiled, totally bewildered. "I'm free, Eliot. No contract anymore. Free."

Eliot didn't say anything, but returned a smile that grew wider as the idea really began to settle in his mind. Lindsey began to laugh, sounding hesitant at first but then just with pure delight. Eliot watched him. So this is Lindsey. Just him, nothing else. And... I don't have to do it. I don't have to keep my word anymore. It felt like a weight was finally lifted. He drew in a sharp breath, and then he leaned forward, cradled Lindsey's face gently in his hands and kissed that laugh.

Lindsey made a small surprised sound, but kissed back, his hands wandering up on Eliot's back, one hand finally clutching on his shoulders. He buried the other in Eliot's long hair, tangling it around his fingers. Eliot sighed softly and drew him closer, deepening the kiss until Lindsey moaned softly against his lips. The sound caused Eliot to tighten his grip and then he slid his fingers through Lindsey's hair and down on his shoulders. He gently pushed him back on the bed, following him down. He let his lips wander down to Lindsey's jaw and then up to his ear, barely touching the skin, teasing. His hands moved down to the seam of Lindsey's shirt, tugging it out of the jeans.

Lindsey joined his hands with Eliot's, pulling at the fabric first and then just tearing it open. His mouth found a spot on Eliot's neck that made Eliot growl low in his throat when Lindsey softly bit down on it. Eliot broke the body contact just long enough so that he could pull his shirt over his head and throw it aside. Quickly he was back at that spot under Lindsey's left ear, licking at first and then sucking at the soft skin. Lindsey gasped, bucked up against him and dug his fingers into Eliot's back.

"Fuck! Eliot… please…" Lindsey let his hands wander further down, touched denim and leather and clumsily began to open Eliot's belt. Eliot's lips finally reached Lindsey's collarbone. He pressed a kiss to the spot just below it and got another desperate moan. Eliot grinned a little mischievously and despite his dazed mind Lindsey seemed to catch up on this and growled. "Oh wait, you… I'll show you…"

Eliot's grin widened, but he decided to put his efforts into getting rid of both their jeans and the rest of their clothes that were simply in the way. Finally they were where they wanted to be - naked, bodies slowly moving against each other, kissing, hands wandering, caressing, just taking their time for a moment.

Lindsey got his revenge as he suddenly pushed against Eliot's shoulders, lifting him up just high enough that he could tilt his head and reach the little hollow at the base of Eliot's throat, pressing his mouth on it, sucking the skin gently between his teeth and just worrying at it a little. He knew that this was Eliot's favorite spot and it worked like a charm - Eliot's grip on his arms tightened, he closed his eyes and made a sound somewhere between a whimper and a growl.

"Linds… God…"

"You may call me that," Lindsey murmured into his ear and tugged a little on the silver earring which produced another growl. Then his head fell back on the pillow as Eliot's hand slipped between his legs, stroking the inside of his thighs until Lindsey whimpered and bucked his hips. But then Eliot slowly skimmed down on Lindsey's body so he could lick and nip his way to the hipbones, stopping there to suck a mark into the skin, which caused Lindsey's breath to hitch in his throat. His arms fell limply to his side and then he fisted his hands in the sheets as Eliot's lips brushed over the bruise and licked it. "Eliot…" It was a hoarse, rough sound, followed by harsh panting and another whimper as Eliot moved upwards again, his lips just barely brushing over heated skin on Lindsey's belly and chest, finally reaching his mouth again. Lindsey opened his eyes a bit and searched Eliot's face above him, skin flushed, lips slightly parted and breathing heavily. Lindsey slowly lifted his head to kiss him, wrapped his arms around Eliot's shoulders and pulled him down. "Eliot… please…" He breathed his words against Eliot's lips between kisses. "I want… can you...?"

Eliot pulled back a bit and hesitated. "You sure?" Eliot's voice was quiet. Since they'd gotten together he had never quite been able to shake off the feeling that there was a very tiny bit of tension in their sex life. It was like Lindsey was hesitant about going further than hands and lips, and Eliot never asked - he could remember all too well the slight strain in Lindsey's voice as he had teased him about not being easy to get. Lindsey's mouth opened and closed again. Eliot asked again, more urging. "You sure, Linds? You don't need - "

Lindsey tried to pull him down again. "Please." He was still breathing fast. "Please."

Eliot lowered his head to kiss him again, softly, just a feathery touch. He slowly ran his tongue over their lips while he let his hands wander down Lindsey's sides, over his hips and up again, then on his back and going down. He never lost contact with Lindsey's lips, feeling his gasps and soft moans against his own. If he hadn't been so good at reading even the most subtle body language, especially Lindsey's, he would have never noticed it - the little twitch as his hand reached the small of Lindsey's back, the one gasp that was not arousal but tension, the way Lindsey tried forcefully to relax and all the same tried to hide that he did. His hands stilled. He broke the kiss and pushed himself up to almost sitting. "Lindsey…?"

Lindsey huffed out an almost impatient breath. "Nothing. Come on… please…"

Eliot stared at him, reading his face and then he stiffened. "Tell me you did this before."

Lindsey's eyes flew open. "Of course I did." His attempt at sounding indignant failed; it came out defensively instead. And the quick flicker in his eyes told Eliot enough.

"But…?" he asked softly.

Lindsey closed his eyes for a moment and then he lifted his chin, gathering his courage. "There were some things you just had to do, working for Wolfram and Hart. Keeping clients happy in every possible way was one of them, especially if they think you have a pretty face."

Eliot looked like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. He stared down at Lindsey's face, horrified and speechless.

Lindsey tried to hold the gaze, but simply couldn't stand to see Eliot's expression. A sickening knot of fear formed in his belly. He's gonna leave. He's gonna despise me for this. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the worst, until he felt Eliot shifting his weight.

"Look at me, Linds." Lindsey opened his eyes again, half-relieved at the gentle tone, but still avoided Eliot's gaze. As Eliot brushed his fingertips over Lindsey's lips Lindsey felt a rush of gratefulness for the familiar comfort. He had to suppress a small sob that wanted to escape his throat, and was blushing slightly, ashamed of not trusting Eliot on this, of really believing he would leave, even if only for a moment. Eliot's fingertips now caressed over his cheek. "I take it that it wasn't very… pleasant then, huh?" Lindsey snorted, but didn't answer, afraid that his voice would crack. Eliot cupped his chin and turned his face towards him. "Look at me." This time, Lindsey did. And almost drowned in the intensity of feelings he could read in those eyes. "Do you trust me?"

Lindsey had to laugh a bit despite the awkward situation. "I trusted you to kill me. If that's not proof enough…"

Eliot grinned a little. "Good." He lowered himself down again until he covered Lindsey's body completely with his own. Their lips almost touched, and then Eliot let them wander, over Lindsey's cheek, the jaw line and up to his left ear, softly brushing over the skin. His hands started their way over Lindsey's body again, exploring, mapping every inch he could reach. He nipped gently on Lindsey's earlobe and then murmured "I'm gonna make you forget. Erase that goddamn company from you, Linds."

The words were accompanied by a touch of hands that made Lindsey buck up his hips again and gasp in pleasure. His breathing went harder and faster again. "Sounds like… an excellent plan…" He tried to sound teasing, to somehow chase the darker thoughts away, but ended in a choked mewling sound as Eliot twisted his hand a little.

Eliot seemed pleased with the result, judging by the soft chuckle that purred in Lindsey's ear. "Of course it is..." Eliot kissed him again, this time harder, demanding, and Lindsey parted his lips, gladly giving in. His fingers cradled Eliot's nape and the back of his head, drawing him in, and as Eliot caught his lower lip with his teeth the thinking part of Lindsey's brain shut down again. He barely registered the movements of Eliot's body as the other man reached for the drawer of the nightstand where they had stashed condoms and lube the night before, but he'd never been more thankful for the other man's need to always be prepared. As Eliot's hands wandered between his thighs and then upwards, gently nudging his legs apart, he couldn't even form words anymore. All that came out was a soft whimpering sound that didn't hold the slightest bit of restraint. He dug his heels in the bed, arched up against those hands, felt slick fingers against him, inside him and then Eliot kissed him again, deep and hungry. He kissed back just as demanding, wrapped his legs around Eliot's body and felt him carefully pressing against him, slowly getting inside, holding back at the smallest sign of tenseness.

Lindsey could feel the soothing caresses of Eliot's hands on his hips and the last bit of doubt disappeared. He began now to move with him, a slow roll of hips that brought them even closer together. He wanted to use his hands, to give at least some of those caresses back, but he couldn't. All he could do was dig his fingers into Eliot's back and hold on, clutching at him and trying to get him deeper inside.

And then Eliot twisted his hips in a little differently, hitting a spot that made Lindsey suck in a sharp breath. His head fell back and through the haze of his arousal he could feel Eliot's tongue sliding up his throat to his jaw. He wasn't even sure if that whimpering noise actually came out or got stuck in his throat as Eliot hit that spot again, and Lindsey was sure he'd pass out from bliss any second. Eliot nipped his way slowly upwards, never stopping the movement of their bodies. Lindsey could feel ragged breaths against his skin and then Eliot's voice was in his ear, rough and husky. "Linds… I've got you, baby. Come on, let go. Just let go."

Lindsey fell apart. White light exploded in front of his eyes and the only reason he didn't cry out was that Eliot had claimed his mouth again, stealing the sound away. He couldn't say for how long he just clung to Eliot's body, riding out the waves and ripples of pleasure running through him. He moaned softly against Eliot's mouth as he felt the familiar shudder that went through Eliot's body as he came, he heard the low growl and felt fingers digging into his hips, leaving marks.

They collapsed, both of them completely spent, and just stayed tangled together, still panting and not being able to move. Finally Eliot managed to push himself up a bit to support his weight and, despite the small sound of protest Lindsey made, he slowly pulled back, carefully sliding out of and away from Lindsey's body. He quickly got rid of the condom, picked up his shirt to clean them both up and slid back next to Lindsey, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him to his chest. Lindsey felt his fingertips brushing over his lips again and heard Eliot's soft voice. "Hey."

Lindsey opened his eyes and smiled at him, too lazy to say anything. Eliot brushed a sweat-dampened strand of hair away from his face and opened his mouth, but Lindsey had found his voice again. "If you ask me now if I'm okay, I'll have your hearing tested." He chuckled at the caught look on Eliot's face. "Gotcha", he said softly. "And yeah, I am. And -" he gave a mischievous look. "- that erasing thing? I think it's really working. With some more practice…"

Eliot started to laugh and playfully swatted Lindsey's shoulder. "Practice is always good." He grinned affectionately as Lindsey's laugh changed into a yawn. "Rough day. Come on, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow I'll finish the job and then we get home."

"Sounds good." The words came out very sleepily and Eliot didn't protest as Lindsey snuggled against him, eyes already falling shut.

Lindsey felt completely mellow, in the good kind of way. Too many things had happened. He would have to face them, deal with them, somehow get his mind around them, but there was no need to hurry. One thing he wanted though, needed to get it out before sleep would finally take over because he wasn't sure he would be able to say it later. He forced his eyes to stay open at least a bit. His words were already beginning to slur and were a bit muffled since his face was buried against Eliot's shoulder, but at least they came out before he was asleep seconds later. "Love ya, y'know…"

Eliot froze. He didn't even breathe for a while. He wanted to think that he'd just imagined the words but he knew he hadn't. He didn't know how to react. Did he… did he just…? But… can't… don't want… too close, trouble. No, he didn't mean it. Just slipped. All the stress. No way he…

His fierce denial caused another train of thought to appear. In a teasing voice that annoyingly sounded like a mixture of Nate and Hardison. You runnin' again? Of course he meant it. And who are you kiddin', Eliot? You're already in it, way over your head. All those things you did, the word you gave and were willing to keep - why do you think you did it? You moved in with him, even if you still don't admit it. And remember how you felt in that bar? Stop foolin' yourself. You both deserve a little honesty here, right?

"Right", he whispered. He looked down on the sleeping form of his… partner? Lover? He couldn't find the right word, but then he had the feeling that this didn't need a label. I can't tell you. Not face to face. I'm sorry, Linds, I'm not ready for that yet. One day. Just… just not now. But… He watched Lindsey's face, listened to his quiet breathing and as he was sure that Lindsey was sound asleep, he whispered the three words in his ear.

There, Eliot. Not so hard, was it? The little voice sounded smugly satisfied.

Shut up, you. He felt tired now, drained. In a good way, but still, staying awake was not an option now. Automatically he checked the windows with a glance and out of practice mastered the art of both facing the door and not losing body contact with Lindsey. He fell asleep at once, only barely noticing the small smile that had shown up on Lindsey's sleeping face.

Part Four is here.