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I used to run from the problems. Now I deal with them. -
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it's like a huge firewall blocking your every attempt to do. to even think about what is it you wanna do. i find myself trapped. driven into a corner. every action you possibly can do leads to another trap. another corner. like there's no exit. no escape. it destroys me, really. turns me into someone I was always afraid to become. I try and try to ( Read more... ) -
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the system breaks you. little by little every day. if you don't think and act like everybody else, it calls you childish, immature, infantile. the more you let go of it the more you become just like them - a grey mass, without any distinctive thoughts. slowly, but persistently, it redefines your views and beliefs to accommodate the mass. it drives ( Read more... ) -
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People claim to be different. Yet they always strive for the same things. A big house, big black SUV, a wife with big breasts or husband with big wallet. A big wardrobe. A big flat screen. No matter the goals it's always something big. This obsession with big is truly poisonous. It depletes resources. It devastates the soul, leaving desolated ( Read more... ) -
speed junkie
it's like you're burned out. withered like an emotional corpse. the only thing that is strong enough to kick you into this reality (although I have to admit it gets kinda blurred) is driving across the city at 160kmh, which is more of an instinct nature and corresponds to surviving per se, not feeling something. otherwise I'm slipping. losing touch ( Read more... ) -
finally, trip report!
It was middle of June when I decided to go on a road trip for my vacation. The destination was quaint and even aberrant - the Mangistau peninsula, Caspian Sea, Aktau city, 3000 miles from Novosibirsk. Maybe its peculiarity played the captivating part or I was just despondent, filled with inexplicable vehement feeling beckoning with a change, a ( Read more... ) -
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Since the very arrival from Mangistau peninsula (report pending), I find myself in a very awkward state. Nights are long and sleepless. Apartment - once safe and cozy, - now feels eerie, lonely and deserted. Thoughts are total mingle-mangle. Perplexing, not to say the most. I can't finish this blasted trip report. Ubiquitous anguish only ( Read more... ) -
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Initiative. The key element of modern society and something very perilous when it comes to my life. It was so stupid and arrogant of me to think I could wrap around a finger laws of energy and existence, pretending everything unfolds correctly. Severe payback, massive concussions and hemorrhage of consequences attached. Bravo, nicely played. -
The Big F
Do you know what friendship stands for ( Read more... ) -
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certain recent adventures make me realize how many precious memories cover by dust every day. this is saddening, but inevitable
you know, there's something that changed in you and I feel like I'm loving it