Single again. Hating it. There's only one person I love and a relationship just wasn't working. I don't have any interest in anyone else, not even myself, but I'm trying. I want to build up inner strength that I lost so long ago.

I'm sick of guys. It never takes very long for me to realize Merrick's the only guy out there who isn't an asshole. And even he's an asshole sometimes, but it's rare. I just want to focus on school and have as much fun as I can while I'm in college. I need to focus on film. Thankfully I've been doing that and I've helped out on 3 capstones (thesis ( Read more... )

Why is everyone so fucking flakey???? It's pretty much built into the DNA of my entire generation. I'm sure I have my moments too, but everyone else is extremely flakey. Last night sucked, and it could have been better if people fucking replied to my text messages. But I guess everyone was just too drunk. And yet, I still reply to people when I'm ( Read more... )

I never write in this thing anymore, but perhaps I should. I finally feel at least a little comfortable. No one will hate me TOO much, or maybe they will ( Read more... )

I never post in here anymore. I feel like I'm just talking to myself anyways. I'm at work right now. So far since I started working here in May, I've made $6000. Not bad, eh? I'm 19 years old making $20/hr and I'm quite proud. If I didn't have this job I'd be in debt eventually because all my money will end up going towards my films. I mean Christ ( Read more... )

I got into the film program. I'm amazed and incredibly happy.

Today UCF had a big pile of snow and there was a snowball fight. It got pretty intense and I have bruises and red marks. It was craziness! Merrick even hit someone right in the nuts with a huge snowball! Then tonight me and Merrick went and played Texas Holdem but there was some drama cuz this girl (who is my age) got really drunk and was going to ( Read more... )

It feels good to be back in school, learning what I want to learn, feeling like I'm doing something for myself and my life and all the while not working and having free time to go to the gym. Merrick's finally at UCF and I'm so proud of him! It's so nice seeing everyone in short relationships but seeing me and Merrick stay in love and growing more ( Read more... )

Holy Hell I'm so excited! I thought I was going to get an A and 3 B's this term but instead I got:

French 1 A
Script Analysis A-
Film Theory and Critcism 1 A-
Film History 1 A

And now my GPA is 3.885

I'm so proud of myself! I was wondering if I'd ever get all A's in college.

So last night I couldn't go to sleep and I ended up thinking about scary stuff (I hate my imagination) and I always start thinking about The 6th Sense lol and I picture my room full of dead people staring at me. It really sucks. Anyways, Merrick is sleeping next to me and I'm trying to go to sleep even though I'm scared and I hear Merrick say ( Read more... )