How big is the baby?
Too tall to toddle
Too heavy to hold
Toss him some tinsel
and as he's engrossed
in the crinkle and glint
We'll pull up the rope

How big is the baby?
The rope on the ceiling
is highly revealing
(He's out of his depth)

There's a Nintendo Wii game that comes with this wheel peripheral resembling the Wheel of Fortune wheel. A player spins the wheel, and all the players squat pantsless around the spinning wheel. There's a chance when the wheel stops that a powerful jet of air shoots upward out of a spot on the wheel-otherwise you just get a trivia question ( Read more... )

Buffy, who is now a small black dog for some reason, went missing in a vast mazelike convention center where a dog show was being held. As well as needing to find Buffy, I'm trying to help some other dog owner find the "judging room." There was a lot of wandering through corridors, and fruitlessly trying to retrace my steps through the ( Read more... )

* Hitting Michael Dawson from Lost in the lower back with a small hammer, trying to paralyze him. Prolonged discussion over whether this is supposed to happen or even necessary ( Read more... )

1. Who is raking the garden?

2. How many have you swallowed?

3. Was it through rope or intuition?

4. Have you ever applied for this position before?

5. Did I flake?

6. How long has it been since you last borrowed?

7. I beg your pardon?

8. Why are you fishing?

9. Is it hard to be hollow?

10. Who will bury the garden?

Sometimes I like to read back through this to help me remember, as there are times when the me of two or three years ago doesn't seem real. It's interesting to see how cyclical it all is, and I still think "Barber-sailor" is funny, but I can't stop cringing at all my clumsy attempts to be witty. I mean, I care as little about the quality of my ( Read more... )

Not that anyone uses LiveJournal anymore, but it seems like all I care about writing, oh, these past 11 months or so, are transcriptions of my weird dreams.

Which I'm not having nearly enough of. Maybe I should start taking Ambien, or mescaline.

I was watching the Final Fantasy Tactics movie, and I was quite upset by the number of changes to the plot. Not only did they make the minor subplot concerning Reis the Dragon-tamer the focus of the film, she was a woman who was trying to turn back into a dragon rather than a dragon trying to regain her human form, and they cut out the character ( Read more... )

The library at the Scientology compound had many high windows, only on interior walls, and all of which were covered by metal shutters. I flipped a switch to raise the shutters but was told "it's cheerier with them down." I then went to the dark, mazelike bathroom and was disgusted by how dirty it was-mold all over the ceilings and in the corners ( Read more... )

"Porpoises are small cetaceans of the family Phocoenidae; they are related to whales and dolphins. They are distinct from dolphins, although the word "porpoise" (pronounced /ˈpɔrpəs/) has been used to refer to any small dolphin, especially by sailors and fishermen. The most obvious visible difference between the two groups is that porpoises have ( Read more... )