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for the first time...
this feels like it's going somewhere. you know,i finally see the finish line. and i'm petrified.
today was such a wonderful day. i woke up around 8am to a glorious morning. the sun was shining and the temperature was bearable and it continued rising throughout the day. i kept getting warmer and better. when i checked m weight, the scale said 79.5 ( Read more... ) -
No biggie!
Okay, i ended up binging last night. It was pretty bad! I binged like crazy, i basically ate everything in the kitchen, including 5 days old homemade muffins and purged it. After purging, i went to a bakery store, bought more food and chocolate and binged again. I gave up around midnight and went to sleep. I look really scary skinny and pale in the ( Read more... ) -
Ramble
It's amazing how little my body turns into a lot. I fasted for 5 days and on the 5th day i had lunch with mom, a chocolate later and the next day i was 5 pounds heavier. I don't understand, i honestly don't. I read that, in order to gain two pounds you have to consume 3000 kcals. That means i had 7000 kcals that day, which is just impossible. No ( Read more... ) -
Post sarajevo depression
You know, i rock! I went to sarajevo last weekend to meet the architect. I had the flu and a giant zit on my nose and i still managed to get the guy. That's just how awesome i am lol ( Read more... ) -
Wait, what?
I spent the day pretty much just being there. I felt nothing, no love, no sadness, no anger. I was so frigging calm. That is, until the architect said he wants to go to bed because he has no idea what to chat about with me. I started a video call and he took my breath with one smile. We ended up talking for one more hour. God, i'm in in love, and ( Read more... ) -
Wtf?
I have no idea what's going on with me. I totally lost control and binged for days without even thinking ( Read more... ) -
The rest of the rant
Okay, so i just remembered... I forgot to write that the biggest motivation to stick to this plan was Architect. He said he could come on the 18th here and i really wanted to look good for him, just in case we end up having sex. The other day he told me he probably won't be coming. Strangely enough, i'm still jogging, even though there's no ( Read more... ) -
Haven't done this in a while
I'm lying in my bed, trying to go to sleep. Obviously, it's not working. I got up pretty early this morning, worked, went jogging and i still don't feel tired. Don't get me wrong, i'm physically exhausted, but not tired ( Read more... ) -
I'm not calling myself a liar
But seriously, what the fuck? One moment I'm talking about how much i love my ex, B, and how i could never imagine myself with anyone other than him, and yet, here i am, head over heels - falling for a guy i've never seen in my life. We met online through a mutual friend and we've been frantically chatting ever since. He lives 7 hours away, and ( Read more... ) -
I don't really care.
You know, i honestly don't care! Yes, i did think i would meet my ex this weekend. And yes, i was happy about it. I thought we could make it. Talk about it, maybe even get back together. And in the meantime, i did start talking to an awesome guy ( Read more... )