Douglas Gasking, an Australian philosopher, punches holes in the idea that the pinnacle of something’s brilliance is it’s existence, therefore if there is a perfect god, he must exist... and makes me laugh along the way ( Read more... )

I really think it takes a specific laser blast at a specific frequency, shot at a specific angle at a specific location on my hull, at a specific time of day at a specific time of year to really make me ANGRY, and I guess all those criteria were met the other day. Basically, some people I barely know spent a great deal of time trying to give me ( Read more... )

What a strange time. I border on feeling a little ashamed when consider the huge upheaval my life will undergo soon in the context not of the union of two souls, but rather of how it will make me, personally, a better person. I’ve always slacked. I’ve always done just enough to get by, just enough to appease myself, which isn’t hard at all to do. ( Read more... )

The only thing on TV right now is track and field. Every time I see it , I think back to where I was 10-12 years ago, and how strange it is that I’m doing THIS now. I think when you are young it’s impossible to judge the weight of your choices and decisions (though I sure as hell tried), but at some point you reach an age where you can actually ( Read more... )

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Now, I’m not judging here, but if I were a demon, and I took possession of a road on the outskirts of some American city, and I wanted to cause as much carnage as I could, I think I’d think of something a little better than casually rolling my eye across the road. I mean, fucker has the power to portray himself as a giant green monster with a pissy ( Read more... )

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A night reading a script with Fred Willard is better than a night not reading a script with Fred Willard.

PS- I recognize that the preceding statement might be self-aggrandizing. I'm due a chance to be cocky every once and again.

PPS- My penis is fucking huge.

I just listened to Ricky Gervais’ podcast about his desert island songs and why he chose them, and I thought I’d take a stab at it. By no means is this a list of my favorite songs, just songs I’d take if they were all I had to listen to for the rest of my life. Here we go... in no particular order ( Read more... )

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Uh, guys. Your TV exploded. It's not excelent. You spent money on a product that destroyed your TV. What are you going to do now? Go outside and play?

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I remember the audio quality being ass terrible, so I refuse to beleive the horny guy on the couch would mistake the "Stop drooling on me" line for her actual voice. And even if he did, NO one is ( Read more... )

It’s Tibetan funeral tradition to break the back of a dead body, tie it into a tiny little package and lay it out as food for buzzards. Sounds like my whole life. Lauren just made a whole list of things she needs to accomplish, and it’s to her credit. I know that I have a thousand things I need to do, but if I ever tried to sit down and make that ( Read more... )