Today I found myself in a hardware store parkinglot, trying to make my way to the exit, when I found a big tent set up blocking the way. Inside, hundreds of rugs were piled on top of one another, and people were sifting through them. Then I noticed the gigantic sign above it all ( Read more... )

Cassie: Why did God create sharks?

Dave: That's why I'm an atheist.

I’m well aware I’m behind the times when it comes to tech-mology, and it’s becoming even more apparent that I’m also behind with the music kids are listening to. I’ve just recently taken a shine to Akon’s debut single “Smack That”, and... if I may, I’d love to toss out the lyrics of the chorus, along with what I’m sure a logical woman’s response ( Read more... )

One of my new favorite things to do is imagine what profession my friends would be in if they lived in a western town circa 1880. Here’s what I’ve come up with ( Read more... )

Al Pacino: My name is Richard Roma ( Read more... )

(Tom just finished watching the Elephant Man)

Tom: Amazing. i highly suggest watching the whole thing. John Hurt is amazing and the direciton is amazing as well...that movie just equals me being moved and choked up for 2 straight hours.

Dave: Not as choked up as he was. HEYYYO!

I’m one step behind in every aspect of my life. This is the first time I’ve felt like I’m on the losing end of everything. Love? Money? Career? Take your pick. I’m honestly a joke right now. All my friends are getting more acting work than me. Many people I meet now see me as moody loner who can’t be trusted. I’m not writing. On the eve of my ( Read more... )

I’m going to say this... If my rent check bounces, could the bank please refrain from charging me a monetary penalty? I mean, it’s clear my finances are in dire straits. It’s obvious that I DON'T HAVE MONEY. So you guys are just going to charge me even MORE money I don’t have? Can’t you... can’t you find another way to penalize me? Seriously, take ( Read more... )

Hey, come see me act or I'll skin a kitten.


( Read more... )

Every morning I wake up and put on the news. Without fail, I get pissed by the time I leave for work. Here’s what’s pissing me off right now about the news ( Read more... )