et tu n'arrêtes pas de me dire des choses dégrisantes.

anyway i dreamt my apartment had been invaded by evil little leprechauns, spreading their filthy magic as best possible by filling the pipes with leprechaun piss instead of water. every time the faucet turned on, a foul, yellow leprechaun liquid flowed out. they laughed and giggled horribly, ( Read more... )

some people have found my vigorous pre-consumption washing and inspection of vegetables a little extreme or obsessive. i just don't want to bite into any insects or other unpleasant surprises. lettuce always contains tiny bugs and worms, which can easily be overlooked and swallowed without a second thought. but, what if you were to bite into THIS:

( Read more... )

i am sunburnt and sore.
spent two days in the home of "friendly people" this weekend:
i raced horses with this nice gentleman named marty ( Read more... )

the silly extravagance of moving to gambier village has proved counter-productive and foolish. i feel more and more like a potential relic, the success of which is senselessly impeded by the warped and erratic consciousness mysteriously nesting in my body ( Read more... )

i wipe away a single, salty tear as my time at the bougainvillea intern house comes to a close. offended, distended, hairy nose pouts and sulks, plowing several scowl lines into her puffy forehead, and i nod reflectively, packing away copious amounts of hillary's stolen lemon biscuits ( Read more... )

here again i find myself convulsing in this tropical hell. i find myself racked by the invasive sobs of homosexual schoolboys everywhere ( Read more... )

this was supposed to be a test of endurance. an exercise in strength. it had to be, couldn't be any other way. every person promises, threatens to flood me like a tsunami. but one by one they all fade out of view. all objects, too, even more silently. but i still cling desperately like a poor primate to a banana baited in a trap ( Read more... )

i'm sitting on the dock again today at noon. baby waves lunge at my feet, and i can hear hurricanes rustling over the water. the wind is savage, stirs the sea up like a soup, all i can think is that i want to plunge to the bottom. all the bateaux arrive at the pier, open up gaping jaws to purge themselves onto the island. tourists are falling like ( Read more... )

we are mad. vicious. eviscerated ( Read more... )

the girls are in heat. the whole house quivers with each pulsation of their libidos. they are ferocious. they hitch their skirts up and saunter out to the docks, waiting for the cruise ships to come in. they wet themselves as a hard, bloated body comes into view. seeing as the pickings seem pretty slim, i'm hoping they'll do the right thing and ( Read more... )