Only in Vermont would you have a night like this ( Read more... )

o my mom. tonight i was so scared. so there i was driving down the highway and an under cover cop throws on some head lights. i was like shit son. i thought i was getting pulled over, but he just manovered around me. got all worked up for nothing. isnt that how life always is. we worry to the point of exaustion when in reality what does worrying ( Read more... )

my moms on the phone with second nature (kates rehab place) i wonder what is going to come out of this program. my mom promised her that she only had to stay for three weeks. i believe her 3week mark is in a week or so. i wonder if my mom is still ok with her coming home. i know that she isnt changing. ive known kate for to long to have hope for ( Read more... )

i havent posted for weeks it seems. so much damn shit has changed. everything has seemed to alter. everything changes every week. and for some reason it never seems like a fucking good change ( Read more... )

the morning ending as the snow is falling in baltimore. the coldness updetectable while i sit inside on the computer. the laziness so detectable. but i wonder if it is me. or the place that i am. i am at beccas. i leave tommorrow. it is sad. but i am also excited to go home and see everyone and start my new job. i havent seen ross in a long while ( Read more... )

It has been awile since ive really sat down and wrote for a long time.i used to use this thing like it was the only outlet that i had. it was so relieving. but then after awhile it just became a pattern. a pattern that was soon broken. i seem to keep a lot of my journal entries private now. i dont want anyone to see what is going on. but fuck. i ( Read more... )

just wondering. wondering what is going to go on tonight. am i going to end up going to this choices thing? there is part of me that wants to go, and i know that it will be good for me, but they wont call me back. i like meeting new people. and people that are beyond all of that superficial shit and are actually willing to put themselves out there ( Read more... )

my hands trembling as the medication is flowing through my body. i dread the fact that i am on medication to control my life style. i hate to know that i am not in total control. it is to hard to face. i dont want to leave this seat. i feel so comfortable writing in this journal. but i know i only have 8 more minutes until i have to leave. and then ( Read more... )

twenty minutes or so to kill. nothing to exciting. sitting here alone, as ushual. for some reason i am finding myself extremely busy but alone a lot of the time. i guess i have a lot of alone time just driving. and shit ive been driving a shit load. i drove some crazy amount of miles on my car. i drove down to the city for orientation. i am ( Read more... )

eating away at my pasta as i wait for the sun to fade and the parties to begin. no drinking? and it is new years. yup thats right. yeah i knwo it's weird. i dont mind it though. it is kinda nice and relieving because now there is nothing to lie about. the drinking days seem to be far away. maybe my next drink will be with Becca sipping ( Read more... )