When challenging one's 12 year old cousin to a jumping-onto-the-beanbag contest, be certain to land ON the beanbag. (The floor is not your friend.)

When engaging one's sister in armed combat, bear in mind that spoons are no match for sai.

Can I go to bed now?

Had the strangest dream last night where a Christmas card arrived from lathany and bateleur addressed to me and flatmate K. Even stranger was waking up to find that it wasn't a dream at all! Truly I am a deficient human being - I haven't even written cards to my family ( Read more... )

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The 3pm energy crash is particularly bad today.

My doctor has just told me I don't exist!

Had suspected it for a while, but still feel a little nonplussed.

It's time for the results of my quiz from last week.

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Have been trying to write a weekend update for nearly two hours now but typing is proving more of a challenge than usual due to a large number of mysterious bruises. Just to add insult to injury people keep telling me stories from Friday (and Saturday) night, but I think they're making them up ( Read more... )

Following a very entertaining evening with comrade_kitten, Sean Bean has been knocked clean off the top of my future conquests list. In his place is the truly wonderful (if rather slopey-shouldered) Matthew McConaughey - possibly the most beautiful man on the face of the earth.

Dear al_fruitbat, lovely al_fruitbat, I don't suppose we could have that conversation about new icons ( Read more... )

Why is it that when I ask my friends for perfectly reasonable advice on what I should get for lunch, the answer is "hot man crumpet"?

Honestly. What kind of girl do you people think I am?

(That's a rhetorical question, by the way.)

Today may just be the best day ever. My departure has been officially announced in the office and every single beautiful young man has come over to kiss me and tell me how sad it's going to be without me. Most of them have made me promise to come out for drinks with them in the New Year, too. (There have been one or two rather more salacious offers ( Read more... )