The Real LJ Idol // Season 10, Week 2

[ellison]

This is an entry for therealljidol. Prompt: That One Friend

Comments

[my_name_is_jenn]

I always wanted that one Best Friend when I was growing up, but it never happened for me.

I like how you wrote about having different friends for different parts of your life.

[ellison]

Thanks! It only makes sense that as multi-faceted people, we'd click with various other people for various parts of our lives. It's a lot of pressure to want ONE person to fulfill absolutely all of our social needs, I think. :)

[gingerblue]

I started realizing it's more about "tribe" than BFF- at least for me. And "tribe" can be anyone from family members to kids to kitties to online friends or just someone I make a quick acquaintance with in the moment.

I think it gets harder as we get older because people are so "grown up" in the way they behave- as a kid, I would think nothing of just going to my BFF's house whenever and hanging out. But now I'd worry about their family and their schedule and imposing, etc. And the scheduling that comes with being an adult- ugh.

So, yes. Tribe. Real and virtual. Human and furry (and feathered!) and geckos too. :)

[ellison]

Yes, for sure! And I have you to thank for the dots of light imagery, Chel. I love that, and it has stuck with me

[unmowngrass]

"Suddenly the broken heart necklace seems a little more ominous than it used to."

Wow, suckerpunch!

[ellison]

:D Glad you liked that line!

[dmousey]

I think you're right! You can have more than one really good friend. I enjoyed this, thanks for sharing. Hug and peace-~~~D

[ellison]

Thanks so much, I'm happy you enjoyed it! :D :D best wishes!

[uselesstinrelic]

I could totally relate to this story. I've always sought my BFF and it hasn't served me well. I had a habit of placing people on pedestals and ignoring any of their bad traits or warning signs because that helped keep them in that position of "best friend" who I got along in every way with. Inevitably I'd get disappointed with their behavior or their human flaws or I'd become heartbroken when they didn't reciprocate. Same thing with relationships. It's like I needed people to be my everything or my nothing.

I'm having to learn how to have relationships like you wrote about. Like friends who you enjoy in certain contexts or who you go to for certain things and accept that they're not necessarily your BFF, but that doesn't make the relationship unimportant. I think that for some of us who have been raised on a diet of BFFs and "til death do us part", learning how to accept casual friendships or relationships that won't be forever takes work and intention.