119. fic: when they open up your heart (part 2/2).

[ellot]

when they open up your heart.
part one



take this time to figure it out. the wire, the fuse, the things that you doubt

the airport is filled with too many numbers. clocks, arrival times, departure times, etas, gate numbers, and more.

eduardo ignores it all and goes to the nearest ticket counter to buy any ticket that takes him back to new york as soon as possible.

he ends up in coach on a flight to newark liberty. he's seated next to a woman who is on the first leg of a long journey to berlin. he helps her place her heavy carry-on in the overhead compartment before sitting down.

"hi, i'm jane," she says, hand out.

he hesitates. it's been awhile since he's really talked to somebody new. but jane just smiles until he takes her hand and replies, "i'm eduardo."

"it's nice to meet you."

she puts her hands in her lap and eduardo sees it. she has a timer.

the countdown is on and ticking away.

03 days 11 hours 08 minutes 27 seconds
03 days 11 hours 08 minutes 26 seconds
03 days 11 hours 08 minutes 25 seconds

she smiles when she notices him looking. "it's a bit silly, isn't it? the idea that a timer can tell you when you're going to meet your soulmate. my best friend has one and it gave the exact time that she met her husband. well, now he's her husband. so i thought i might as well give it a try.

"the success stories i've heard are amazing."

eduardo swallows and opens his pack of gum and pulls out a stick to start chewing. he's always gotten awful headaches during take-offs and landings. "don't you think it takes the magic out of it though?" he finally manages to say. "you depend on a piece of technology to be right about when you'll meet your soulmate."

"i don't know. i think it can still be magical." jane tells him. "my countdown says i'll meet my soulmate in three days so i'm flying to berlin because if i had a place to pick to meet my soulmate it'd be there. so that's where we'll meet."

now that he's started to speak, he can't seem to stop. "what if it tells you it won't be for another twenty years? are you supposed to ignore the loves you have until then? and what if your timer is bla-" he struggles to finish the sentence, "blank and you meet the person you know is the love of your life. and it all falls apart because you have a timer and they don't. and the person can't trust that it won't start up one day."

jane is staring at him now. he knows that the situation he's described is not really the same as what happened with mark. there were too many other things going on and he still doesn't understand mark. he can finally admit that to himself although it hurts.

however, he tells her and he means it, "there are so many ways that it can go wrong."

"i'm sorry," is all she says, patting his hand.

.

they're about an hour out of new jersey when eduardo asks, "so why berlin?"

"it's probably my favorite city in the world. well, it and san francisco but i live there so i thought i'd someplace a bit more special. and it's a bit poetic, isn't it? meeting your soulmate and taking down the barriers between your lives in a city famous for being where a wall fell."

.

they disembark and he waves goodbye as jane runs to catch her connecting flight.

he makes it down past baggage claim and towards the transit train when he realizes that he doesn't actually want to go back to his empty apartment. he doesn't want to go back to work tomorrow, start up again with his sixty-plus hours a week.

he calls his boss and asks for a temporary leave of absence and buys a ticket.

newark liberty (ewr) to edinburgh turnhouse (edi)
continental airlines, flight number: co112

he'll like the whiskey there, if nothing else.

.

eduardo stays in scotland for two weeks. he drinks a lot of whiskey. he buys cashmere and tweed, sends a scarf and a jacket to his mother in miami. he ships another scarf and a kilt towel to chris. he even eats haggis, neeps, and tatties one night at the hotel restaurant. it's surprisingly good, he thinks and thanks the waiter for the recommendation.

he goes to glasgow and buys a couple shirts and a tie from thomas pink. then he takes a train up to the highlands. the weather is cool for spring. he stops off at aviemore and buys an overpriced north face fleece. he had one before but he thinks that mark had borrowed it enough times that he never asked for it back.

he continues on to inverness and visits the nearby loch. he doesn't see nessie.

he decides it's time to leave. he takes the east coast line down to london.

.

he stays in london for one day. he walks among all the hurrying businessmen in canary wharf and then gets lost in the british museum for an afternoon.

eduardo doesn't like the idea of being in a tunnel under the ocean, can feel water rushing into his lungs just thinking about it, so he flies to paris instead of catching the eurostar.

paris is nice, he thinks as he walks near the seine. he doesn't speak french well-in parisian standards, at least but he enjoys the practice. he likes a nice glass of red wine with dinner and croissants for breakfast. he ends up staying for a week.

on the final day, he goes up to the top of the eiffel tower and looks at the city stretched out in the distance. he can't help but feel like he's waiting for something.

he laughs at himself when he's back in his hotel room.

he opens his laptop, connects to the wifi, and sits down to pick his next destination. he thinks of jane and her soulmate, wonders if it all worked out well. he thinks of a fallen wall.

he buys a ticket to berlin.

.

eduardo decides to start at the brandenburg gate and aimlessly begins to walk. he has his wallet filled with euros, his blackberry, and the card of his hotel. even though he doesn't know much the language, most germans are fluent in english. he's not worried.

he wanders down into the tiergarten. it's so beautiful and tranquil among the trees and the water, an oasis in the middle of the cityscape. if the sound of a waterfall had been there, he could almost imagine turning a corner and seeing fallingwater.

eduardo remembers going to pennsylvania with mark and his family and walking around the house. he thinks he told mark that one day he'd love to live in a house like it, just melting into the nature around it.

he stays out until the early evening and catches a cab back to his hotel. he eats in one of their restaurants and goes to his room to shower. he thinks about changing into another outfit and heading out to explore the nightlife but he's tired, exhausted, from his walk earlier and the month of traveling.

he puts on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats that he thinks may once of have been mark's and settles into bed with a book he picked up from shakespeare and company in paris.

he's just started the second chapter of the great gatsby when a steady knocking starts at the door.

eduardo uses his finger as a bookmark as he walks over and opens it. mark is standing in the hallway.

the book falls to the floor.

.

they stand there silently for a moment staring at each other. eduardo watches mark twists his hands in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie. there's a small duffel bag at his feet.

he shifts uncertainly before asking, "you going to let me in?"

eduardo opens the door wide before he realizes it. it must be the shock, he tells himself.

mark steps into the room, giving it a cursory glance, before looking back at eduardo standing next to the bed.

eduardo doesn't know what to say in this type of situation. in the end he goes for, "what are you doing here, mark? how'd you even find m-no, don't answer that. i probably don't want to know any details."

"um, so, i just wanted you know," mark says. "i wanted you to know that you're an idiot. and i love you."

eduardo splutters for a moment, mouth opening and closing in shock. "ex-cuse me?"

"i'm sorry for not understanding about the timer, but really. it's kind of your fault too."

"it was not-" eduardo starts to say, indignant. he cuts himself off, however. "wait," he lifts his hand in the universal sign for stop. "did you just say that you l-love me?"

mark gives him a fairly unimpressed look. "of course i do, and that's really not the point to be focusing on right now," his words tumble over themselves as he speaks, too quick. he takes a deep breath, clasped hands in his pocket pulling the hoodie away from his body. "i, god wardo, i didn't know about your timer. how could you not tell me?"

there's only so much that eduardo can focus on right now and keep his mind so he says, "i thought you knew! don't you dare put this on just me. i showed you the empty countdown. god, i thought you knew. i said it wasn't important to me, because i was with you. the empty countdown meant that i was meant for you."

"i didn't look at the countdown," mark admits. "i didn't want to see that you covered it up because you didn't like to see that you'd have to wait twenty or more years to meet your soulmate. i just couldn't, i didn't look, wardo."

mark's chin is tucked down as far into his chest as possible, hands still stuffed in his hoodie. he isn't looking up from the floor.

frustration and anger are running through eduardo's veins, he can feel his temples throbbing. but mark stands there looking so unsure. everything went wrong and a stupid timer with a fucking blank countdown started it all. eduardo uses two fingers to poke him in the shoulder, pushing him back a little and forcing him to look up. "you are such an idiot," eduardo tells him. "i thought you loved me.

"i thought you loved me. and i thought you knew i loved you too." he reaches out and touches that teasing corner of mark's mouth. he steps closer, hand moving around to cradle the back of his skull. "god, i still love you," he finally admits.

mark lets out a wounded sound, hands flying from his pockets to tangle in eduardo's hair. he pulls him down into a kiss. eduardo groans as he ducks his head, tracing mark's bottom lip with his tongue before licking into mark's mouth. his hands won't stop running up and down mark's back, under the layers of soft, worn cotton.

he tugs the shirts over mark's head and leans down again to reach his mouth but mark pulls his shirt up and over in one, jerking move before kissing the delicate skin behind eduardo's ear. eduardo sighs and wraps his arms around mark's waist. mark kicks off his flip-flops and rises on tip-toe to press his bruised lips against eduardo's again.

they're both panting into the kiss, having gone too long without each other. mark shoves eduardo back, his bare feet shuffling along the rough hotel carpet, until his knees buckle against the side of the bed. eduardo falls back and scoots up the bed at mark's urging, hands bruising-tight on his hips.

it reminds eduardo of that first night in kirkland after facebook went live, mark pressing him down on the bed and leaning over to kiss the skin beneath his belly button. but then he feels mark whispering "i love you, you love me, i love you, you love me," his lips rough and chapped against his skin.

eduardo grabs one of mark's hands and lifts it. he presses a kiss against his palm.

.

eduardo wakes up the next morning thinking that he's back at harvard. he feels mark pressed against his back, arm wrapped around his waist, and their legs tangled together.

it takes a moment to remember that they're in germany.

mark said he loves me, eduardo thinks. there's no small amount of wonder when he repeats that to himself. and then he realizes, he doesn't know what to do. they can't stay in berlin forever.

he slides out bed, wrapping mark's arm around a pillow, and goes to the coffee maker. mark wakes up just as it finishes brewing.

"so what do you want to do today?" mark asks as he sits up. he looks so young with tousled curls and his curled-up fists rubbing his eyes.

it really is as if they're back at harvard. eduardo could almost believe that he'll hear dustin chomping away at cereal in a bit and chris rushing out of the room to make it to his ridiculously early morning class. but they're aren't nineteen anymore, eduardo has to remind himself and too many things have happened to just forget.

"wardo?" mark says.

eduardo sighs as he brings over two cups of coffee. he sits down on the bed facing mark. he hands off the coffee made just the way mark likes (cream and one sugar) and sips his own (black with three sugars). he needs some time to think.

he reaches over and strokes the delicate skin beneath his eye and the ridge of his cheekbone with his thumb. "i don't know, mark. i think i'm ready to go home."

"if you let me borrow your laptop, i can buy us tickets back to san francisco," mark says.

he reaches over to pick up the macbook pro from the bedside table. eduardo gently grabs his wrist, stopping him. he presses mark's hand against his cheek. "i meant, i'm ready to go back home to new york," he pauses. "and i may-i may be moving to singapore soon. my boss and i have been talking about me transferring over to that branch for the past few months."

mark is shocked still, eyes wide, then he becomes a flurry of movement. he pulls his hand away and grabs eduardo's coffee cup, places both of them on the bedside table. "no, wardo, no," he says, he clasps their hands. "but what-what about the-and love-"

eduardo stops him. "i love you, mark. and i believe that you love me too. but i don't know if we're good for each other. god, just look what happened with facebook. we almost destroyed each other."

"i'm sorry, wardo," it's the words that eduardo never thought he'd hear. "i'm sorry about going behind your back with the share dilution. i'm sorry about sean."

it's the words he'd wanted mark to say for so long.

he hadn't realized that there were words he wished he'd had the courage and chance to say too.

"god, mark, i'm sorry too," he says, and the words keep coming. "i'm sorry for not really listening to what you wanted for the company. i'm sorry for being blinded by my dislike of sean," it hurts to say but there's a bit of relief, a lessening of the weight pressing on his chest when he finishes.

"but mark," he continues, shaking his head. "it doesn't change the fact that things fell apart the way they did between us. and i'm not moving to palo alto," he says and thinks about that rainy night. "i fucking hate it there."

"i, um, i can understand," mark tells him. "but even just new york would be better. i can't move facebook headquarters-"

"i don't expect you to follow me, mark," eduardo interrupts.

mark continues on as if eduardo hadn't spoken, "but you'll be closer than singapore."

eduardo sighs. he rests his forehead on mark's shoulder, unable to resist any longer. "i just, i don't know, mark." he tucks his face into the curve of his neck and feels his throbbing pulse beneath his lips.

"please, wardo." eduardo shudders at mark's breath in his ear, the trace of his mouth. "we'll talk, okay? we'll be friends again. even if you're in new york. you can come vis-or, i can go to new york.

"maybe," he hesitates. "maybe you won't hate california forever."

he sounds so anxious and eduardo has never liked mark feeling that way around him.

"forecast says i probably won't," eduardo says, an attempt at an old inside joke from their time at harvard to lighten the mood. he remembers the night he told mark of the miracles of meteorology and betting oil futures. it had been a good night, he thinks. he'd almost let himself forget about those.

mark laughs though, a soft, almost silent, snuffling sound, and kisses eduardo's cheek.

"we should stay in berlin a few more days," eduardo says. "explore a bit."

.

they fly back to new york together. then, eduardo has to go through customs and mark has to find his gate and catch his flight to san francisco. eduardo hugs mark goodbye at their arrival gate, pressing a small kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"i'll talk to you soon," eduardo says before he walks away.

he's just sat down in the back of a cab when his cell phone beeps signaling a new text.

i'm assuming the three day rule doesn't apply to us.
i've always thought that shit was stupid anyway.
-m

received: 06:24:26pm, april 06, 200-

eduardo laughs as he types out a reply. he smiles the whole ride home.

when he arrives though and takes the elevator up to his apartment, he realizes just how quiet his apartment is. it's not a big place by any means. it's just modest one-bedroom, close to work, with just enough closet space for his suits. the bathroom is amazing though, tiled with a full bath and a separate shower.

it feels empty without mark there, he realizes as he sits on his couch after taking a shower. four days together after so many years apart and he already misses mark in his life.

he has been missing him, if he's honest with himself.

from: mark zuckerberg
to: eduardo saverin
date: april 07, 200-
subject: this is stupid

wardo,

it's been one day. i miss you.
feelings suck.

m

.

i miss you too.
-e

sent: 09:20:14pm, april 07, 200-

.

you available for a call now?
-e

sent: 01:15:04am, april 08, 200-

.

ten mins.
-m

received: 01:18:12am, april 08, 200-

they haven't talked properly in years, not counting those few days in berlin. it's surprisingly easy to get back into the swing of things though. once they start talking, it's like they can't stop.

mark tells him little asides about his employees and what they've put up on their office facebook wall. he reads off some of the new things that appeared while he was gone. eduardo mentions the party he once went to with a bunch of cpas at the end of tax season. ("some of the craziest shit you have ever seen," he says. "i swear, the drunken karaoke alone would've given you nightmares. the next day, man, it was like we were in the zombie apocalypse.")

they avoid talking about anything too difficult though by unspoken agreement. it's something that they'll build up to and deal with once they're actually face-to-face.

from: eduardo saverin
to: mark zuckerberg
date: may 01, 200-
subject: something my boss said today

mark,

my boss tells me that facebook is the reason behind the laziness of teenagers these days. how does it feel to be corrupting the youth of america?

e

.

from: mark zuckerberg
to: eduardo saverin
date: may 01, 200-
subject: re: something my boss said today

that's just insulting, wardo. i think you mean the youth of the world.

m

.

the constant emails and texts and the calls every almost every night are the best parts of eduardo's days. they talk and talk and yet never seem to run out of things to say to each other. eduardo feels like he knows mark better now than he ever did before.

he leaves work early on thursday when there's finally a short lull in the major project he and his colleagues have been working on. he goes to buy mark's birthday gifts. he ships out a box that afternoon to mark's home in palo alto. it includes:

. one pair of leather dress shoes, black
. three pairs of socks, black
. one thomas pink tie, green
. five bags of red vines
. one plastic mini weather station which shows wind direction, wind velocity, temperature, and long-term rainfall
. one copy of dr. seuss's happy birthday to you! with 'today you are you, that is truer than true. there is noone alive who is youer than you.' i love you and have a happy birthday. - es written on the inside cover

.

eduardo has avoided talking about going to palo alto in the month or so since he and mark returned from berlin. he hasn't even mentioned mark's birthday when they talk although he has time off at the weekend that he could've used to give the presents he bought to mark in person.

he's afraid that the ease of their communication from those last few days in germany and their emails and calls now will somehow vanish if he goes out to palo alto.

he thinks mark probably feels the same way about new york until the day of mark's birthday, a few hours after eduardo knows the gifts were to arrive. mark emails him:

from: mark zuckerberg
to: eduardo saverin
date: may 13, 200-
subject: tentative trip plans

hey wardo,

i was thinking about flying to new york tomorrow for a visit. that okay with you?

m

mark's always been the braver of the two of them, eduardo thinks.

.

his flight doesn't arrive until 11:15pm but eduardo is waiting at baggage claim when mark comes down the escalator.

"i can stay at a hotel, you know," mark mumbles into the slope of eduardo's shoulder when he pulls him in for a hug and a kiss on the temple. "i won't be offended if you want me to."

eduardo doesn't say aloud that he'd thought of that possibility himself for awhile but mark probably already knows. "don't be ridiculous," he tells mark.

they take a cab back to eduardo's apartment in manhattan. there's a long enough couch in the living room but eduardo guides mark into his bedroom.

"it's a queen-sized bed and a lot more comfortable than the couch or anything we had back at harvard," eduardo explains as he sets down mark's carry-on. "it'll be fine sharing, right?"

mark nods, shrugging his right shoulder. there's a hint of a smile on his mouth.

"i'm guessing you're not tired yet, right?" eduardo says. "we can set up on the couch for a bit."

eduardo goes to his small kitchenette and grabs a couple of beers from the fridge as mark pulls out his laptop and opens up his facebook application.

he sits on the couch next to mark and turns on the tv. just as craig ferguson starts his monologue, mark nudges him with the ball of his foot. "can we?"

eduardo moves to lean against the arm of the couch, cushions propping him up, and mark settles in between his legs. his head rests just above eduardo's heart.

"thanks for the gifts," mark says, voice little more than a whisper.

eduardo smiles as he winds his fingers into mark's hair. "i'm glad you liked them. maybe one day you or chris, if we're honest, will actually find a reason for you to have to wear the shoes." he laughs. "i couldn't decide what i should get the youngest billionaire in history. so i thought something that you wouldn't think to buy yourself was best. and well, i bought the red vines because you never could have enough of those, i remember."

mark laughs a little and keeps typing on his laptop as he nestles a bit closer to eduardo, getting comfortable.

the familiarity of it all is both surprising and comforting.

.

mark's visit lasts for three days.

they spend the first two days together acting like tourists during the daytime. mark insists that the two of them go to the empire state building and then visit ellis island and the statue of liberty. eduardo drags mark around a bit of central park and moma.

when they visit the ground zero site, mark touches their knuckles and the backs of their hands cautiously. his fingers twitch until eduardo slips their palms together and entwines their fingers.

each night they sit next to each other on the couch in eduardo's flat. most the time they do not talk but the silence between them is comfortable after the long day outside. eduardo turns on the tv and flips through some reports from work or one of the books he's always buys when he enters any random used bookstore he passes by.

mark puts on his headphones and codes. he always sits with some part of his body touching eduardo's, though. his feet in his lap, his shoulder cradling eduardo's head, stretched out and laying between his long legs with his ear over the steady thump thump eduardo's heart.

.

it's a tuesday, the day before mark's early morning flight back to california. eduardo wakes up early and goes to the kitchen to start making breakfast, eggs, toast, and a few slices of bacon.

his cell phone rings just as he hears movement in the bedroom and the shower turn on in the attached bathroom. he doesn't need to look at the screen to know who's calling, "good morning, mamãe," he says, smiling.

"you sound happy today," she says after a quick greeting.

"are you saying i don't always sound happy," he asks, laughing a little, as he spoons a bit of salsa onto the scrambled eggs.

"you've been happier lately, yes." his mother has always been one to pick up things too quickly, "so what's going on in your life, darling."

"well, i-" he doesn't know how to explain mark's reappearance in his life. after all, she'd flown to new york to be with him a few days before the depositions started. she had heard the whole story from him after they'd drank a few caipirinhas at dinner and eduardo had started with direct shots of cachaça.

"mark is here," he tells her.

"mark?" she sounds confused. "you mean that boy, mark zuckerberg? the boy you were in-" she pauses. "he's there with you in new york. are you okay?"

"yes. yes, i invited him here. we met up a little while ago and we've been talking. except i-mamãe, i still love him."

"oh, i'm sorry," she says, heartfelt. "do you need me to come up and visit you again?" he can hear her moving. "i can buy a plane ticket and be there tomorrow."

"no," eduardo says and thinks that sometimes he loves his mother so much that it hurts to think that he'd never fully appreciated her when he was younger. "he loves me, too."

mark walks into the room then. his hair is damp and curling slightly and dark trails of water are sticking the top of his shirt to his shoulders.

he wraps his arms around eduardo from behind and presses gentle kisses against his bare shoulder blade. "morning," he whispers.

eduardo gulps, phone still against his ear. it feels too domestic. him standing here cooking and mark coming in with a good morning hug and kiss. he can almost convince himself that they actually live together when mark acts like this. "morning, mark," he replies.

"is that him then," his mother asks. "give him the phone. i want to talk to him."

"mamãe," eduardo starts.

"you hand him that phone now, eduardo," she tells him. "and don't you try to listen in."

eduardo sighs. he knows it's no use to argue with her. "my mother wants to talk to you," he tells mark, turning around. "i'm sorry," he says and offers mark the phone.

mark wavers for just a moment before taking the phone. "hello," he says as he walks out to the living room.

eduardo hurriedly finishes cooking but by the time he's set the small kitchen table, mark's returned and he sets his phone on the counter. "she said to tell you she loves you and she wants to see us soon. she's willing to fly out to wherever we are."

he sounds surprised. eduardo's mother can have that effect on people. "so what do you want to do today?" he asks. "we can head out again or just stay in," he laughs. "it's not like you haven't been in the city before."

"no, but you never actually do the tourist things when you live nearby, do you?" mark says. "it was fun-doing that stuff with you. but yeah, i'm fine with just staying in and around here today."

they stay in all day, marathoning various television shows and movies and ordering from a take-away just across the street and having it delivered.

.

"i'm sorry," mark whispers when eduardo enters his bedroom that night. mark's already changed into his flannel pajama bottoms and is under the covers.

"for what?" eduardo asks. it'd been a good day.

"when i was talking to your mother, she talked about-she said that you hadn't been back to miami in years. that you haven't talked to your father since all the share dilution. so, i just i wanted to say, i'm sorry."

"it's okay, mark," eduardo says, sighing. "it was underhanded, what you did. but i can-i can understand why you did it, in a way. facebook's done brilliantly without me."

"even with all the privacy suits, you mean."

"even with those, yeah," eduardo smiles a little and mark traces the open parenthesis at the edge of his cheek and mouth with a shaking finger. "i've realized that i'll never be able to make my father happy. i don't know if he's ever really happy. but mark, really. i'm okay."

"really?" mark says.

eduardo climbs into the bed and lies down next to mark. he can feel his warmth radiating in the small space between their bodies. "yes."

"that's good then," mark tells him and pulls him closer, a hand cupping the sharp line of his iliac crest. "he didn't deserve you, not really."

"he's my father," eduardo says. it's easier in the darkness to say it out loud even with the catch in his throat. he understands now that mark will have noticed it.

"i know, wardo." mark murmurs. "but your mom loves you, you know. she really does. and i-i love you too," he kisses eduardo's neck. "sleep now."

.

they wake up early to get airport in time for mark to check in.

mark hesitates a second when they reach the security check, looking around cautiously, before he wraps his arms around eduardo's neck and pulls him into a kiss. eduardo moans quietly as he moves a hand to the small of mark's back, pulling him in close. mark sighs as he runs his hands through eduardo's hair, licking past his teeth and into his mouth. the kiss is hot and wet and so perfectly needy. they have to pull away far too quickly.

it's their first real kiss since that day in berlin when mark had showed up at his hotel room and hadn't left. the first time since they really started to properly talk.

"call me when you land," eduardo tells him, kissing him one final time.

he waits as mark passes through security. they watch each other, waving, until mark has to turn a corner.

.

when he gets home, he changes back into his pajamas and slides into bed. he doesn't have to have to go back to work until tomorrow at the earliest. his last project finished after two seventy-hour work weeks.

he thinks about mark flying back to california. he wonders if he's planning on heading straight to the facebook offices from the airport. he thinks about what the offices must look like now with the giant facebook wall covered with the employees's graffiti.

he's surprised by the fact that he actually wants to see it. he wants to see how mark's- how their company has progressed.

eduardo yawns and stares at the ceiling, willing himself to fall back asleep. when that fails, he rolls over and takes a deep breath. the sheets smell like mark, he realizes. warm and spicy and a bit like home. he groans and tugs mark's pillow over, burying his face into the soft, cool cotton.

he turns his head and sees it set on the nightstand.

it's a piece of printer paper, folded in half, with a note in mark's scratchy handwriting.

for when you're ready.

the paper is weighed down by a key.

.

eduardo stays in new york. he's not ready to leave yet.

he does thank mark for the key when he calls later that day.

"you're welcome," mark says though his tone says that he believes that thanks are really not necessary. "by the way, chris has been looking at me suspiciously since i came in this morning. you should probably expect a call from him soon."

"okay," eduardo laughs. "did you give dustin the statue of liberty souvenir?"

"yes, he does love lady liberty holding a light saber. although now he wants to have a star wars theme party at the offices. or a bring-your-light-saber-to-work day." eduardo can hear people talking on mark's end of the phone. "i have to go now, sorry."

"it's okay. i'll talk to you soon," eduardo says. "i, i love you, mark."

"i love you too."

he grins as mark whispers the words into his phone.

(

"you sound happier, wardo," chris says to him a couple minutes into their call. "you've been a lot happier since you took that trip to europe."

it's eerily reminiscent to his mother. sometimes eduardo really does wonder if the two of them have been in contact.

"i feel-i am happier. i'm happy." eduardo tells him after a moment.

chris hums into the phone. "you know," he starts, awkwardly. "i think mark's happy too."

"is he now?" eduardo asks.

"yes," chris says. "he actually laughed at a joke dustin said earlier today. and it was a really bad joke, man. there was something about a mermaid, a jedi knight, and a bartender. seashell bras, fish tails, light sabers, and shots of tequila were involved."

"i don't want to know. trust me, i really don't want to know."

"you know, he took a break from work after the depositions a few months ago too. it was around the same time that you were in europe. and then he took a short vacation for the past few days. he called it his birthday gift to himself."

eduardo sighs, "you can just ask, you know."

"are the two of-talking now?" chris says.

"yeah, we are," eduardo says, smiling. he looks at a picture that he and mark had taken at the top of the empire state building. it's framed and set on his bedroom dresser.

he'd stuck a copy in mark's bag. he wonders when he'll notice it.

)

it amazes him sometimes, how much his life is tangled around palo alto, even though he hasn't been back there in months. he talks to mark, chris, and dustin often. he knows about all the big personalities and little dramas at the offices. chris keeps him informed on local politics, mostly through raging monologues covering a wide variety of topics.

it's gotten to the point where he even thinks of time as pacific standard time plus three hours.

mark's key stays beside his own on his keychain although he hasn't used it yet.

sometimes, he wonders if mark is upset that he hasn't been able to get up the nerve to buy a plane ticket to california but he never seems to be when they talk most every night.

then mark comes for a second, third, and fourth trip to new york.

he'd smiled the first time he'd noticed his house key on eduardo's key ring.

eduardo wants to go to california. he thinks about it every time he meets mark at baggage claim and each time he watches mark go away through security.

he knows that he wouldn't be alone there, if he went. mark is there and chris and dustin. there's always plenty of work in the valley as well. he'd even talked to his boss about it.

he needs to be certain though, he thinks.

eduardo's not sure of what, however. he just knows that when he thinks about packing up his things, leaving his apartment empty, and flying to california, he feels his heart start pounding and a rush of nerves run down his spine.

.

"darling," his mother says to him. it's nine in the morning and mark's already on his flight back to california after his fifth trip to new york. eduardo's washing the dishes from their hurried breakfast this morning. his phone is on the counter beside him with his mother on speaker. "you need to realize some things, okay?"

"mamãe," eduardo tries to interrupt but she just speaks louder.

"i will shout if necessary, eduardo," she tells him and he quiets down. it's not an idle threat. she once had to leave a dinner party in order to shout at him about good nutrition properly through the phone. "i know you are worried about what can happen between you and your boy."

"mother, really," eduardo says, exasperated.

"mark, your boy mark," she laughs happily as she corrects herself. "i know he hurt you before and darling, i was angry with him too. but you aren't angry anymore, eduardo. you've been moving on."

"i know that," eduardo says. "i love him and he loves me too."

"but still you're scared," she tells him. "i am your mother," she speaks over his voice again. "i know you. you were hurt and you're afraid you'll be hurt again. so i'm going to tell you right now. something will go wrong and you, both of you, will be hurt in the future."

eduardo nearly drops a glass in the sink. he definitely swallowed too much air. "that's not reassuring," he chokes out past his coughing.

"it's not meant to be, darling. things will happen and you both will become upset but the two of you will work through it because you love each other. you've already done it before-and most arguments don't include lawsuits and hundreds of millions of dollars."

eduardo puts down the sponge and glass and leans against the sink. it feels like his heart is trying to beat right out of his chest.

"you'll do the right thing," she tells him. "now hurry up because i want to meet mark and i'll only come visit once the two of you are sorted out.

"i love you and your father," she pauses. "he is a difficult man, i know. but he loves you in his own way. and i am proud of you, eduardo. i always have been. you are a good son, a good man."

.

his mother's words echo around eduardo's mind all day.

he finally calls his boss at noon, just before his lunch break and sets up a meeting. then he grabs his briefcase from beside the couch and checks all his paperwork.

it's been ready and waiting for the past few months.

.

there's no one waiting for him at baggage claim when he finally arrives in san francisco after a five and a half hour flight that began with two-hour delay of departure. eduardo just smiles patiently, headphones on, as he waits for his luggage to arrive on the conveyor belt.

he takes a cab to mark's address.

mark's house is small, two-story building painted a pale yellow with white trim and shutters. there are flowerbeds up front filled with purple and blue flowers. it looks like it belongs in a norman rockwell painting, a perfect cookie-cutter house of americana. eduardo wonders who chris or mark's assistant hired to keep up with the landscaping of the place while mark's at work.

he opens the door, his key turning easily, and wheels his luggage in.

it's almost nine pm now. mark should be on his way back from the offices. he knows that there are no major updates on the site due soon.

it's midnight in new york, about the time they talk every night.

eduardo's phone beeps, indicating an incoming call just as he hears the front door unlock. "hey wardo," he can hear coming through the phone and from down the front hall.

"hello, mark," eduardo says. he hears mark freeze and then hurried movements coming towards the living room.

"wardo," mark says again, phone still held to his mouth. eduardo smiles at him as he walks over. he gently pulls mark's phone away from his ear, ends the call, and tosses it on the couch.

"hi," he says as he cups mark's cheek. his hand is trembling slightly as he pulls at mark's bottom lip with his thumb.

"you're here, in california."

eduardo nods even as he's bending his neck to kiss mark. one of his hands is against the gentle curve at the small of his back, pulling his hips in close so that they're cradled against his own. the thumb of his other hand is over the fluttering pulse in mark's neck, quickening under his skin. eduardo feels his heart throbbing in his chest, attempting to match the tempo of mark's own heart.

a desperate noise escapes from mark as their mouths touch for the first time in two weeks. he runs his hands up and down eduardo's chest and bites at his lip, soothing the ache a second later with a soft kiss. eduardo groans and shoves his tongue past mark's teeth, licking into his mouth.

he tastes like red licorice and soda, like love and home.

mark pulls away and pants into the hollow at the base of eduardo's throat. he reaches up with hands trembling slightly and unbuttons the top few buttons of eduardo's shirt, parting the soft cotton. he leaves little kisses and licks along the line of eduardo's delicate clavicles. his hand clenches and releases eduardo's side repeatedly.

as if he's not sure that eduardo won't just disappear, eduardo realizes. "i'm here," he whispers in mark's ear. "i hope you don't mind me staying."

"i gave you a key," mark says and eduardo nods, his lips dragging across mark's cheek. "and you used it." eduardo nods again.

mark's laptop bag falls his shoulder, catching on his elbow. he drops it onto the ground and kicks it aside. he grabs eduardo's hand and leads them up the stairs into the master bedroom.

eduardo eagerly falls back into his bed. he moans as he sinks into the mattress, pillows, and unbelievably soft sheets. "oh my god, this bed is a miracle. how do you not spend sixteen hours a day in here instead of at facebook," he says even as he wriggles out of his trousers and underwear and kicks them away.

he's struggling with the buttons of his shirt when mark climbs into bed fully naked already and tugs it roughly over his head. eduardo grins as mark tosses it to the side. he wonders if he'll be stepping on buttons in the morning.

then mark lies down and stretches between his legs. eduardo suddenly can't breathe. "wardo," mark says his name and it sounds like an exaltation on his lips. he licks a stripe up and down eduardo's neck. mark bites just as he reaches down and thumbs the precome leaking from the tip from his cock.

eduardo jerks like a live wire. his back arches up so forcefully that he hears it crack and he almost throws mark off.

"mark," eduardo pleads, shifting his hips, but mark only strokes his cock once. he grips tightly around the base eduardo's cock and sucks at his bite on his neck. eduardo knows that he'll have a hickey in the morning, far above the line of his shirt collar. eduardo twitches at the thought and runs his hand up and down the knobs of mark's sloping spine.

he tangles his fingers in mark's hair, supporting the back of his skull and holding him against his neck. he groans loudly as he wraps his legs around mark's waist and lifts his hips off the mattress.

mark lets go of eduardo's neck with a final nip of his teeth and a gentle kiss on the already purpling bruise. he gently unwinds eduardo's legs and presses them onto the bed.

eduardo whines and tugs roughly on mark's hair, drawing out a moan, when mark pulls away. he reaches for his bedside table and opens the drawer. eduardo laughs as mark pulls out a bottle of lube. "such a cliché," he says.

"as if you didn't keep yours in the same place." he also pulls out a box of condoms. "i may have bought these in anticipation of tonight," mark admits, a red flush creeping up his cheeks.

eduardo smiles and tugs him down. "i'm glad. although i doubt we'll be able to go through them all in one night."

mark huffs out a little laugh and then licks his way down eduardo's chest. he grabs eduardo's hips in a tight hold just as he bites down on his nipple.

eduardo immediately struggles against mark's grip, clenching mark's hair, as he moans loudly. he should've expected that, he thinks. mark had never been able to resist doing that to him since the very first night at harvard.

he hears the sound of a bottle cap opening distantly then mark's mouth is moving downwards, breath hot against eduardo's torso, causing his muscles to contract wildly.

"you ready?" mark asks him, mouth hovering against the crease of eduardo's thigh. eduardo jumps slightly as mark strokes his quivering abs with light fingertips.

he's always been surprised by how soft mark's fingers are, expects calluses as if all of mark's typing would have the same effect as guitar strings.

eduardo nods rapidly. "yes, mark please."

mark strokes eduardo's cock once before he swallows around the head. eduardo gasps as a finger rubs his hole and gently presses in at the same time mark begins to moan around his cock.

"mark," eduardo can't help but gasp his name over and over again. he strokes mark's cheek with his thumb, traces the bow of his lips where they're open and slick around his cock. but then mark carefully slides a second finger in and grazes the spot that causes eduardo's body to spasm uncontrollably.

it's all he can do to remember to breathe.

mark's fingers move carefully in and out his body, brushing that point every time, just as mark's mouth offers warm, wet suction around his cock.

eduardo begins to sob with pleasure-it's too much and not enough.

mark pulls off eduardo's cock with one last lick and rests his forehead on eduardo's heaving stomach, panting heavily, as he pushes in a third finger. eduardo feels him mouth something silently against his skin. he remembers berlin and thinks he knows what mark is saying.

he grabs mark's free hand and presses his lips against it. he entwines their fingers and holds their hands against his stomach for a moment before letting reluctantly.

"hurry," eduardo tugs on mark's hair and shoulder, urging him to move up his body. mark pulls his fingers out with a gentle squeeze of his thigh. his hands are too shaky and slippery to open the condom packet though so eduardo takes it from him.

he slides it down mark's cock and pours some lube in his hand, stroking mark's cock several times. he likes the way mark's hips stutter forward, the unguarded expression on his face.

mark grabs eduardo's wrist, tugging his hand away. his fingers softly trace along the scar from eduardo's timer surgery. he kisses the spot before he nudges eduardo back onto the cushions and places a pillow beneath his hips.

he rubs his hand along eduardo's side, a question, and kisses him when he smiles. eduardo waits until mark positions himself then runs his hands along mark's spine.

mark groans when eduardo's blunt, trimmed nails scratch red lines down his back. "god wardo," he stutters out as his hips slam forward.

eduardo gasps and digs his fingers into mark's shoulders, his legs wrapping tightly around mark's waist. he presses against mark's lower back with his heel, urging him to move.

"wardo," mark says he moves, pulling back only a few inches before slowly moving forward again.

eduardo laughs and presses a hand on the back of his neck. mark collapses onto one arm and eduardo licks into his mouth until the two of them are breathless. "just fuck me," he whispers into mark's ear.

"you always did try to kill me," mark breathes desperately, the words hot against the pulse of blood running under eduardo's skin. mark trails kisses down eduardo's neck and starts to suck a new hickey into his skin. his hips begin to pump faster and faster with each score of nails down his back and every muffled whimper from eduardo.

then mark changes his angle of his thrusts and suddenly, eduardo can feel mark's every movement down in his bones.

he'd missed this, eduardo thinks as he nudges the tops of mark's thigh with the backs of his feet. he'd missed this electricity that always seemed to spark between them.

he reaches up and cups the line of mark's jaw in his hand and brings him down to place their foreheads together. he moans brokenly every time mark's cock pushes in. then mark wraps his hand around his cock and eduardo is lost. his back arches off the bed and he's coming hard between their bodies. mark follows only a few faltering thrusts later.

eduardo can feel it.

they breathe together for a second before mark carefully pulls out and tosses away the condom. he kisses eduardo's cheek and says "stay here," as he gets out bed.

mark comes back from the bathroom with a hand towel that he'd damped with warm water. he carefully wipes down eduardo before giving himself a cursory cleaning. he moves them under the covers.

"welcome home," mark whispers against the back of his neck, breath warm and humid against his skin. he holds eduardo close, arm around his waist, and spooned up behind him.

eduardo intertwines their fingers and falls asleep.

.

eduardo groans as sunlight shines into his eyes. of course, mark would have windows facing east in his bedroom. he rolls over, sliding under mark's arm wrapped around his waist.

he watches mark's lashes flutter softly as he dreams and looks over to the bedside table. the clock shows 6:50 am. mark can sleep for a little while yet.

he smiles when he notices the photo of them on the observation deck of the empire state building from mark's first trip to new york. beside it is a picture of them on the staten island ferry with manhattan skyline in the background.

if only people knew what mark was really like, how sentimental he could be. mark's never been the type of person to try to appease strangers though.

eduardo sits up gingerly, carefully moving mark's arm and kissing his cheek. he rubs his eyes and climbs out of bed. he tugs on a pair of sweatpants that mark must have left on his floor before. they're a bit short, stopping a few inches above his ankles.

by the time he returns to the bedroom with a cup of coffee, mark is sitting up. "what're you doing out of bed?" he mumbles.

"don't you need to go to the offices soon? i thought you liked to be an hour earlier than the rest of the employees." eduardo says. "i brought you some coffee."

"i can call in sick or something," marks, yawning, but he stands up as well. he pulls eduardo closer with a tug on the drawstrings of his sweatpants and gives him a quick good morning kiss, chaste and sweet.

"mark," eduardo laughs as he starts walking them towards the bathroom, hands on mark's hips. "your employees already think you're going crazy."

"i'm the ceo, i can call in if i want-wait, what?"

"i don't know if you've noticed, mark, but the trips to new york every month or so were a little out of character for you."

"i still do my work!" he sounds unhappy and insulted that anyone would think that he wouldn't.

eduardo grins around the toothbrush in his mouth. "i know you do," he says with a mouthful of toothpaste. "they know that too. i think it's more the fact that you were able to drag yourself away from work."

"you matter to me," mark says. "i mean, facebook is always going to be important but you're important too. you're my-you know," he trails off.

"yeah, you're my soulmate too," eduardo tells him. "we don't need timers to know that."

he rinses his mouth out and turns to mark.

mark's clutching his mug of coffee under his nose, inhaling the smell between small sips. his hair is a riotous mess of curls, his eyes closed, and there's a hint of drool against his cheek from when he'd been sleeping with his mouth open. he hadn't bothered to put on any clothes and he's scratching idly at flecks of eduardo's dried come on his stomach.

eduardo feels his mouth go dry.

he's the most beautiful thing that eduardo has even seen.

"you're stuck with me forever now," eduardo says. he runs his fingers across the pale line of his collarbones and then down his chest, along his sternum. he touches the sharp cut of mark's hips and then his half-hard cock.

mark whimpers, mug clattering on the marble counter as he sets it down.

he grips the countertop, knuckles white with strain, as eduardo drops to knees in front of him.

mark ends up having to call his assistant to tell her he'd be a couple hours late to work.

.

"i really can stay home today," mark tells him as they dry off from a shower and get dressed.

"no, it's okay," eduardo says as he pulls on a button-down. it's slightly wrinkled from travel but he doubts mark will care or even register the little imperfections. mark reaches over and starts buttoning it for him, fingers tracing his bare skin before he covers it up. "i was actually hoping to come with you, if that's alright?"

"you want to come to the facebook offices?" he asks. he sounds surprised but then, eduardo can't really blame him. the last time he'd been in the offices, the scene had been pretty-explosive, to say the least.

"yeah, i do," eduardo says. "i want to see it. i'd like to see what you've done with the place."

"you know," mark starts slowly. "it wasn't just me. i mean, chris and dustin have been there. and the employees as well. and it couldn't have even gotten off the ground without you-even if facebook is doing great without you as cfo. you're the very first person who believed in it. you know i mean that, right?" his words are speeding out his mouth by the end.

"i know, mark," eduardo tell him, running a hand through mark's hair. "now finish getting dressed. do you have any breakfast food downstairs?"

"um, some granola bars and maybe some brown bananas? i had a few oranges but i had to throw them away because they went all grey and blue. i had some yogurt too but then it started to smell. i should look into investing in research about prolonging the shelf life of dairy products."

eduardo laughs. he rubs mark's cheekbone and kisses the space just below it, "i'll meet you downstairs in a bit then."

he grabs two granola bars from a cupboard and two bruised but acceptable bananas from a bowl on the counter. he quickly eats his and hands mark his own as they leave the house. "you can eat while i drive," eduardo says.

.

it's only when he pulls into mark's allotted parking space that he realizes just how anxious he is. mark's already unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door but eduardo can't seem to move his hands from the perfect ten-and-two position.

he stares at the building in front of him. it looks so unassuming-you would think a modern company worth billions of dollars would be located in some slick skyscraper in new york city, los angeles, or chicago.

mark opens his door and reaches over to unbuckle his seatbelt. "come on," he says. he takes hold of eduardo's wrist and pulls him out of the acura.

"you know, i don't think i ever said sorry for destroying your laptop."

"don't be," mark tells him. "i think it probably deserved it."

eduardo looks down at his hands trembling slightly and goes to shove them into his pockets. mark captures them and offers a reassuring squeeze and a kiss on his knuckles. "it'll be fine," he states simply. "let's go."

there are three people working the front desk and security. mark doesn't even have to flash his work id to get through. the perks of being ceo and practically living in the offices, eduardo thinks.

the receptionist must recognize him. eduardo sees her eyes widen and her mouth open slightly as he fills out the visitors' log. mark is telling someone that eduardo is to be allowed in at any time and to have an id made for him if necessary.

"you know i don't actually work here, right?" he says. "i never really did."

"but you're on the masthead, aren't you? and you'll have to suffer through shareholder meetings now." and then one of the guards is opening the glass doors for them.

eduardo remembers slamming through them and marching towards mark. he thinks he'd never been so furious and so hurt before in his life.

mark traces the fragile bones of eduardo's wrist, the line where the timer used to be, and grabs his hand. "we can go to my office first."

the offices are humming with activity when they first step in but a heavy silence starts to spread as soon as people begin to notice mark's arrival with eduardo.

"oh my god," he can hear someone breath out.

"wait, who's that?"

eduardo is suddenly conscious of the fact that there are several purple love bites showing above his collar. and that mark is holding his hand.

the whispering increases but mark doesn't notice or chooses not to pay attention to it. he lifts their clasped hands and gestures to a back wall. "that's the office wall."

it's too far to read but eduardo likes the lively mix of colors. he's pretty sure he sees some of dustin's handwriting in glittery pink ink with letters at least a half-foot tall. speak of the devil.

dustin and chris are walking towards them. eduardo tugs mark to a stop.

"wardo," dustin calls. eduardo sighs. he doesn't know why he thought dustin would ever learn and follow the rule about inside voices. "it's great to see you! the four founders of facebook or facewarts or um, hogbook together again!"

while dustin starts a debate with himself about the proper mash-up of facebook and hogwarts, chris arches his eyebrow and looks pointedly at eduardo's neck. "you two were just talking, right."

eduardo laughs, blushing a bit. "we were, then."

"your mom called me, by the way. she wanted to make sure that you were actually moving to california." god, he'd known that she and chris had been checking up on him since junior year at harvard.

"yeah, i organized it with my work and everything."

"that's great, man," dustin says and hugs eduardo. then he spit-takes and drops his can of coke when he finally notices mark and eduardo's clasped hands and the marks on eduardo's neck.

"dude," he says, far too loud again. "when'd that start happening again?" he presses one of the bruises with a fingertip.

mark tightens his grip on eduardo's hand. "wardo and i are going to my office. he wants to see how things are going with facebook. we'll talk to you later."

there's an explosion of sound that's muffled when mark closes his office door behind them.

"you okay?" mark asks as sits down. he boots up his desktop and takes his laptop out of its carrying case.

eduardo smiles a little. "yeah, although i'm pretty sure i don't want to know what all dustin's saying to everyone out there right now." whatever it is, he can see that wild gesturing is involved. also, chris has his face cradled in his palm.

he walks around mark's office, looking at his few knick-knacks. he walks past the chairs in front of the desk and leans against the mahogany, next to mark.

there's a few small photos stuck around the base of mark's imac. eduardo sees mark's family, one or two pictures from what must have been office parties. there's a photo where he's shaking hands with bill gates and a second one with steve jobs. then he sees a photo from harvard. chris or dustin must have taken it.

it's a picture of the both of them sleeping in mark's tiny twin bed. mark's wrapped protectively around eduardo, one of his arms being used as a pillow and the other hand pressed over eduardo's heart.

"i've never seen this before," eduardo says. he traces the line of their bodies.

"chris gave it to me awhile ago. um, after the two of you started back at harvard again. i think he was annoyed that i kept asking about you. so he sent me a bunch of pictures from before. i think he wanted me to get up the nerve to talk to you again."

"it's a nice photo," eduardo tells him. "i'd like a copy."

mark nods and tilts his head up for a kiss. when he finally pulls away from mark's lips, eduardo notices a flurry of movement in the main offices.

"you do know that your office is made of glass walls and all your blinds are up? everyone just saw that. they know now," he tells mark.

"please," mark says. "as if the handholding and hickeys and dustin hadn't done it already. i like to think that my employees aren't idiots."

eduardo smiles and resettles his hip against mark's desk as mark starts to show him various things around the site. mark's shoulder is warm under his hand.

he's reminded of the early days at harvard-before facebook, sean parker, frozen accounts, point-zero-three percent, a smashed laptop, and lawsuits.

then mark turns to rub his cheek against the inside of eduardo's wrist and kiss the delicate skin there.

eduardo thinks this is much better.

the end.

and since i didn't write enough already, have a little coda.

(plz say no sexay timez goin on rite nw

received: 09:12:04pm, august 15, 200-

eduardo sighs as he reads the text. he doesn't even need to look at the caller id to know who sent it. he swears that dustin only texts like this with him because he knows that eduardo has to struggle to read and understand it.

we're planning on watching a movie.

sent: 09:13:53pm, august 15, 200-

.

gud. we r outsid. open ur dor.

received: 09:14:03pm, august 15, 200-

"dustin and chris are here," he calls to mark in the kitchen as he walks to the front door.

"i bought enough food for four," mark tells him.

eduardo opens the door. he can't help but smile a little at dustin's wide grin and chris's long-suffering expression. "come on in, mark bought enough chinese food for all of us."

"awesome, so what're we watching?" dustin asks as he grabs his usual tub of lo mein.

mark folds himself in next to eduardo and rests his head on his shoulder as the dvd starts to play.)

idek. so, i hope the fic was okay. :D i've never written anything near this long before in my life. i think my 'failboats in love' playlist was one of the few things that kept me going. you don't want to know how many times i listened to sondre lerche's 'to be surprised' and the yeah yeah yeahs's 'modern romance' and 'poor song' while writing this. but man, i feel like i could've written a few thousand more words about what was going on in mark's mind. still i hope his thoughts managed to come across even though the fic was from eduardo's pov. thanks for reading! ♥

02.10.11 − 02.28.11