SPN gen fic - Smoke Damage - PG13 gen - John, Dean and Sam pre-series

[eloise_bright]

So, I've been trying desperately to work on my Asylum con fic - I have an idea, but I'm so exhausted with RL work I can barely string a coherent sentence together. And then the muse decided she wanted some Dean h/c. John POV. With added angst

Comments

[dotfic]

This hurts to read, in a good way. I love how you got into John's head here, and how you captured Dean's stoicness, but with his vulnerability raw and in plain sight.

[eloise_bright]

Thank you. Although the muse moved in this direction, this was tricky to write - trying to show but not tell John's worry and Dean's vulnerability.

[sylvanwitch]

You've done such a beautiful job of elucidating the subtle complexities of the Winchester family dynamic, particularly between John and Dean. The dialogue is terse and realistic, so much in-character that I can hear their individual voices. Sam's accusing worry is such a perfect expression of his dual focus in the family that we can easily see the man he's to become, the young man who argues with his father even over Dean's still body. And Dean's hurt, his pride, his fear of being less than what his father expects, is also very delicately handled here. Nothing is overdone. It's all pitch perfect. Bravo!

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. The more I write the dynamics of this family, the trickier I find it. They just don't verbalize their feelings at all, so it has to be shown through gesture, body language, or if all else fails, tight introspective POVs.

I'm so glad it rings true to you, as I'm finding that I'm second guessing my writing a lot.

[kellifer_fic]

This is completely awesome.

[eloise_bright]

Thank you!

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. John POV is always fun to write.

[daisybalance]

So wrenching - your John-voice gets me every single time.

[eloise_bright]

Thanks. I miss John so much - I wish we'd been given more of him on screen. *sighs*