It’s 12:00 and he’s gone. Like clockwork I’m sobbing in the living room, contemplating if digging a sharp object into my skin will help at all. Instead I think I’m going to make the decision to take medication, I’m so tired of all of this. The thoughts, the feelings, the mood swings. Even the thought of him staying home gives me no solace, I just ( Read more... )

Is no one talking anymore? I’m hurt, he’s hurt, BlueBelle sleeps. How do I snap out of this. How do I forgo these hurt feelings? I’m not strong enough to be the bigger man here. Can I go back to bed now?

Step by step we work towards improvement ( Read more... )

Anxiety is a bitch.

Remember that time I was happy? When Ryan came home at 4:00 ( Read more... )

It’s an up and down day. I’m good. I’m fighting small anxieties. At least I can say that the anxieties are small.. that’s a blessing at least. I’m still scared everyday this surgery has shaken me. I need to strengthen myself.. it’s hard. I’m scared to exert myself.
Why does he leave me alone?

I was telling her ( Read more... )

“It’s happening, this day; just another reminder of it all ( Read more... )

“Let’s do this the right way,” she said to her self. There was no response, but inside, just like always, she knew what the right thing would be. Here is the story, a bit paraphrased, a bit crazy, and full of the hurts we have all felt, hurts she never wanted to feel again ( Read more... )

Changes when you meet those special people.