Fic: It's Always Open Season On Princesses- Epilogue
Title: It's Always Open Season On Princesses
Spoilers: Through Season 2
Word Count: 4459 ( For a grand total of 122,136 words. Holy crap.)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, although I understand the show-running job is up for grabs.
***********
“Do you want to stop somewhere for coffee?”
Annie opened her mouth to answer him and instead gave him a long, ugly yawn. When she could finally control herself, she covered her mouth self-consciously.
“So, that’s a ‘yes’, right?” Jeff asked in mock sincerity and Annie rolled her eyes in response. “Annie, I really don’t think anyone would care if we slept a couple more hours.” He shot her rather convincing pouty expression over the roof of his car and could tell from her expression that she was starting to crumble. “Come on, no one will miss us.”
Us.
The word didn’t stick in his throat the way he thought it would. No, it actually felt good. Liberating even. After all of the purposeful misdirection and game-playing, it really had been as easy as being honest with her.
Who would have thought?
“Jeff,” Annie chastised him with an obvious air of affection, “Pierce is being sent home this afternoon from the hospital and we need to be at his house for the party.” She punctuated the statement with another yawn.
“We’re having a party?” he asked. “You miss everything when you don’t have a phone in this group. I think we are going to need to have an intervention with Shirley soon if this baking thing doesn’t stop.”
Annie raised her eyebrows teasingly at him. “She’s fine. And maybe if you wanted to stay in the loop you shouldn’t have decided to send your phone out for a swim.” She grinned at him in the morning sun and Jeff couldn’t help returning the gesture. When she smiled at him like that, his impulse was to give her whatever she wanted. This clearly meant that she couldn’t ever figure that out. How dangerous would that be?
When he’d woken up that morning, there had been a split second of panic that had spread through his chest. That moment of confusion with his surroundings had eased at the mere sight of Annie, curled up on her side next to him. She had looked so small in his bed. But he knew now without a doubt, even if he’d been trying to convince himself otherwise for a long time, that Annie was definitely a grown woman.
“Jeff?” Annie called, pulling him out of his daydream before it had even begun. He glanced up at her quizzical face. “I said ‘what are you thinking about?’” She smiled at him and Jeff could detect the barest hint of nerves there.
He slid his sunglasses down his nose and shot her a look that made her blush instantly. He loved that he didn’t even have to say anything to make that happen. “Yeah,” he agreed as she glanced away, seemingly embarrassed at the slightest hint of their budding physical relationship. “Are you blushing?” he teased her lightly.
“Jeff,” she whined back at him and he smiled even wider as he unlocked the doors of his car and they climbed in. He watched her settle into her seat and fasten her seat belt before smoothing her skirt down demurely over her thighs. When she finally cottoned onto the fact that he was watching her, Annie turned to him with a curious expression. “What?” Jeff simply shook his head, trying not to grin at the fidgety, over-achieving female who had somehow ended up his girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
Oof.
He’d never been one to be overtly positive about life in general, instead always choosing to find the negative aspects of every scenario and working them out before they bit him in the ass. His motivational speeches that his friends had come to expect from him were not his feelings, but more a way to keep them calm and happy in the face of any problems. Even as Jeff allowed his seatbelt to engage, his brain shot twenty different scenarios through his head, all of them ending in Annie breaking up with him. There was a greater than likely chance that he could still mess this up entirely. But he felt better about life in general whenever she was around. And realizing ahead of time that he could ruin everything was half the battle. “So, coffee?” he asked Annie as he backed out of his parking space.
She nodded. “I’m a little tired.” Yawn. “I don’t want anyone to notice.”
Yawn.
“Notice what?” Jeff cracked when she finally closed her mouth again. “No, I think you’re playing this whole sleepy thing very subtly.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Try not to drool on the leather seats. Again.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry. “I was a little distracted from sleeping last night.”
He nodded. “I noticed, what with you waking me up to have sex with you.”
“Jeff!” Annie squealed, her cheeks turning pink.
“Believe me,” he countered. “I’m not complaining, Annie.”
They sat in comfortable silence as the Lexus made its way toward the nearest Starbucks drive-through. “So,” she said slowly. “Are we telling everyone?” Her clear nervousness at the thought made Jeff cough through a smirk.
“I don’t think we’re really going to have to,” he answered honestly and Annie furrowed her brow. “Annie, yesterday at this time, you weren’t even speaking to me. How good of an actress do you think you are?”
The young woman opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. “So, you really think I’m that obvious?”
“Yes,” Jeff responded lightly. “But they’re going to know eventually anyway.”
“Fine,” she answered with an edge to her voice. “We’ll just see how cool I can be.”
Jeff glanced over at her. “So, you’re going to lie to your friends all day to prove a point?”
“You bet your cute butt I am,” was her reply.
“You think I have a cute butt, huh?” he grinned at her and Annie gave him a one-shouldered shrug, refusing to meet his eye. “You do know they’re going to ask regardless of whether they know we’re a couple, right?”
“Maybe,” Annie conceded. “But I kind of want to just have it be mine, ours for a while without having to hear all of their thoughts on it.” She frowned worriedly over at him. “Does that make me a bad friend?”
“No,” he answered easily. “It makes you a sane human.” Annie sighed. Her phone chirped from inside of her bag and she reached in to dig for it.
“It’s Rich,” she said a moment before she answered it. “Hey, Rich.” She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. “Isn’t it a little late to be calling?” Pause. “What? What are you doing in London?” Jeff glanced over at her troubled expression. “Rich….Rich! I know.” Annie’s face softened. “Yeah, he told me.” Pause. “Last night.”
Did that stupid weasel call to rat him out? When he was the one in cahoots with the evil queen? “What is he telling you?” Jeff asked.
Annie held up a finger to quiet him. “Well yeah, but….you like him.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “I know that, but it was his job.” She chuckled lightly and Jeff clenched his jaw. Even after everything, the thought of her talking to Rich made him kind of crazy. It was slightly comforting to know that it was a hate for the doctor himself and not some misplaced jealousy over Annie though. “No, it’s all….” Annie turned to glance affectionately at Jeff, which he caught out of the corner of his eye. “Everything is good here.” Pause. “Yeah, he’s coming home from the hospital today.” Long pause. “I….I think you should go for it, Rich.” She grinned widely and Jeff bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from demanding to know what they were talking about. The secrets and the lying and the game-playing were done now. He might have problems trusting people in general, but not her.
Not anymore.
Annie hung up her phone and turned to him, practically beaming. “Rich is going to be staying in Italy indefinitely.”
Jeff’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?” She nodded. “Huh. I gotta say, I didn’t really see that coming.”
“You should see them together,” Annie replied. “They’re really cute.”
“What was the rest of that?” Jeff asked as lightly as he could.
“Oh, he just wanted to warn me about Pierce and Camilla and Sergio and …you.”
He frowned. “I’m insulted at being lumped in with that group.”
“What was it like kissing her?” Annie asked with a wrinkled nose.
“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me.” Jeff pulled up to the window and ordered. “And it was terrifying. Like making out with one of those hot dogs that stay on the rollers all day at the gas station.”
“Ew,” Annie giggled before taking a sip of her coffee. “So, we’re not telling everyone today? That we’re…..”
Jeff stopped himself from purposely being obtuse. He didn’t think she would find the humor in that at this juncture. “If you want to tell them, you should tell them.”
“You don’t want to?” she asked.
Jeff turned onto Pierce’s street. “I just don’t think it’s any of their business. And after the last month of every one of them butting into our lives, I don’t want to give any of them the satisfaction.” He glowered. “Especially Pierce.”
Giving him a long furtive glance, Annie frowned and took another sip. “I thought you and Pierce talked everything out.”
“We did,” Jeff answered, his eyes staying on the road.
“And?”
He sighed. “And he may genuinely like you, but he still put both of us in the middle of a very large game of chicken with his shrew of an ex-wife.”
“His heart was in the right place,” Annie defended weakly.
Jeff pulled into Pierce’s circular drive and put the car in park. “I don’t get it, Annie. You refuse to trust me ninety percent of the time and yet give him the benefit of the doubt at every turn.” He turned in his seat to face the young woman. “What gives?”
She frowned to herself for a moment. “When Pierce disappoints me, it doesn’t matter as much to me.” Staring down at her hands, she continued softly. “I don’t love him.”
Crap.
Jeff had told himself that he was protecting her from…well, him this entire time. But truly, the person he’d been protecting was himself. Not from Annie. No, that idea was laughable. Years of not stacking up, of never being important to another person had made him at the very least gun shy when it came to intimacy. Annie knew all of this, knew everything about him, and she still loved him. Trusted him, when he had never really given her any reason to. He opened his mouth.
“I went to the airport.”
“Huh?” Annie asked eloquently.
Jeff mentally kicked himself. He knew it needed to be said, but he had been planning on waiting a little longer to drop this particular piece of information into her lap. “I was at the airport the day you left.” Annie’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open in shock. “I went to the airport. With a bag.”
She swallowed. “And?”
“And I chickened out,” he replied with a shrug.
Her eyes stayed on his face for a long time, simply sizing him up. Jeff fought the urge to distract her from her own thought process. “Why did you come to the airport?” Annie finally asked, and he could tell she was scared of what the answer might be.
He pulled his sunglasses off of his face and held her gaze for a moment. “Because I wanted to go with you.”
“Really?” Annie asked as she visibly melted.
“I mean,” Jeff qualified slowly. “I’m not going to lie here and tell you that I must have been in love with you the entire time.” Annie’s face fell. “I have been working a long time at convincing myself that I didn’t feel anything for you and trying to desensitize myself to the….” He paused and grinned. “To the Annie of it all.” Annie’s mouth quirked up on one side. “I didn’t get on the plane with you because I was sure that whether or not you knew it, I was not what you wanted.”
“And now?” she persisted.
“I’ve decided to trust your judgment.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. “It’s usually pretty good, after all.”
One small cold hand landed on his and he met her gaze. “Thank you for telling me, Jeff.” She smiled encouragingly at him and Jeff felt himself relax.
He jerked his head in the direction of the immense house. “Let’s get this over with.”
They walked in tandem, carefully not touching, all the way to the front door. It was yanked open at the last second by Shirley. She beamed at them before stepping aside to let them in. “I didn’t expect you two to be so prompt today,” she simpered at them. Taking in the Lexus in the driveway, she turned to glance at the innocently. “Just one car? Did you come together?”
“Yeah,” Annie answered smoothly. “My car is still at the airport, so Jeff gave me a lift this morning.”
Shirley’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly before she was smiling again. “That was nice of him. Annie, Abed is in the kitchen getting the food laid out. Can you give him a hand for a minute while I talk to Jeff?”
Jeff felt a trickle of dread shoot down his spine that caused him to outright shiver. Annie shot him a concerned look and he nodded at her ever so slightly before she disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.
And now Shirley would kill him.
She watched him silently, waiting for him to speak. But Jeff was very good at this game. He smiled at her before stepping further into Pierce’s large living room and taking in the high ceilings. Shirley followed him and looked up at him. “Shirley, I’m not sure what you think this is accomplishing, but I can tell you it’s not working.” She just stared at him. “If you’re going to lecture me, just do it.” She raised her eyebrows. “Threaten me?” Her lips curled up into a small smile. Gently tugging on his shirtsleeve, Shirley reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek before walking into the kitchen. “Shirley?”
Huh.
That had gone eerily well, actually.
Jeff started to follow her to the kitchen when the front door opened behind him. He turned in time to see a wheelchair-bound Pierce being pushed into the house by Troy. Britta followed behind them, carrying a bunch of helium balloons.
“-just don’t see why we couldn’t have stopped off,” Pierce was complaining.
“Pierce,” Britta snapped. “You just had cancer surgery; we were not going to stop off for cigars.”
“I have some candy cigarettes,” Troy whispered, bending close to the old man’s ear. “Just don’t tell Britta.”
The blonde noticed Jeff and gave him a smile that he returned. “You’re here,” she stated.
“How was the trip from the hospital?” he smarmed at her and Britta rolled her eyes.
“It was like driving two kids home from soccer practice,” she answered. “I kind of want to slap both of them right now.”
“Aw,” Jeff said. “You’re gonna be a great mom.”
“Jeff,” Pierce spoke up and Jeff looked down at him. “What are you doing here?” At the sound of Pierce’s voice, Shirley came rushing in from the kitchen with Annie and Abed on her heels. “What are all of you people doing in my house? Are you robbing me?”
“You were supposed to text me when you were leaving the hospital, Britta.” Shirley spoke through gritted teeth, her smile never moving.
Britta held up her phone. “Dead battery.”
“Surprise welcome home party,” Abed answered Pierce. “Shirley made cake.”
“Does it have eggs and flour?” Britta asked. “Because I’m vegan and gluten-free now.”
Shirley glared at the blonde. “Just eat the damn cake,” she said in a low tone. Flipping personalities instantly, she smiled over at Annie. “This is kind of a welcome home party for Annie and Jeff too, isn’t it?”
Annie exchanged a quick glance with Jeff before smiling. “That’s not necessary, Shirley. This is Pierce’s party.”
“Damn right it is,” he piped up from his wheelchair.
“We’re just glad to be home,” Annie continued, earning a small smile from Jeff.
“I would like a word alone with Annie,” Pierce stated and all eyes went to the young brunette. Except for Jeff, who let his eyes land on the old millionaire. He met Jeff’s gaze for a moment before looking over at Annie. “It will just take a minute.”
“Uh,” Shirley floundered for a moment. “Of course. Everybody, can you come help me get the snacks ready in the kitchen?” Without waiting for a response, the mother of three made her way back toward the kitchen, pushing Jeff along with her. He protested silently for a moment before letting the woman direct him to the next room. Once the door had swung shut, Jeff was pressed against it.
“What do you think he’s saying to her?”
Troy shrugged. “Maybe he’s sending her somewhere else now. Like Tibet.”
“Maybe he’s asking her to dress up and nurse him back to health,” Britta suggested. Jeff shot her a dirty look. “What, like that isn’t a possibility with him?”
“Troy and I have to go set up the media room for the viewing,” Abed announced before nodding at his friend. He turned to Jeff. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Thanks, Abed.” Jeff answered sincerely. Abed merely blinked at him before following Troy out of the room. He turned to face Britta and Shirley. “So…..” He raised his eyebrows. “What kind of cake did you make?” He could tell from Britta’s expression that the question would be flying out of her mouth any moment now. He braced himself for it.
Before the blonde could take him to task, Annie pushed the swinging door open slowly and entered the kitchen. Jeff studied her carefully, but she clearly wasn’t meeting his eye. “What did he say?” he asked her as nonchalantly as he could manage. She gave him a small, reassuring smile but stayed silent. “Annie?”
“I guess there is something Abed has set up for us to watch in the media room?” Annie questioned, taking the bowl of snack mix that Shirley handed her. Jeff frowned at her before taking a stack of small plates and a handful of plastic forks and followed Annie down the hall to the media room.
Seriously, what had Pierce said? It was killing him not knowing what the old crazy man had said to Annie. She would have to tell him eventually, wouldn’t she? Why was she keeping this from him? After he’d been so honest with her about dumping her at the airport like a sack of hot garbage. Okay, well that didn’t make him sound too good actually. But that didn’t change the fact that Pierce could tell her anything he wanted to, whether or not it was true. Jeff had tried very hard to remember everything, every secret he’d been keeping from her, and every secret everyone had been keeping from her. What had he said to her?
No.
He wasn’t going to obsess about it. This wasn’t the time or the place. He would wait until they left and then ask her.
“Seriously,” Jeff said in a hushed tone as he stepped into the media room. “What did he say to you? Did he say something about me?”
Annie gave him a strange look. “Don’t worry about it, Jeff. I’ll tell you later.” With that, she turned and walked away from him. She wasn’t being rude, just dismissive. And secretive. Hadn’t they had enough of the secrets?
Pierce rolled himself into the room, followed by Shirley and Britta.
Here went nothing.
Oh god.
“Annie and I are seeing each other,” Jeff stated, pointing needlessly to the woman across the room, whose jaw dropped immediately.
“Uh, duh doy!” Pierce replied with a roll of his eyes. Jeff stared at each of his friends in turn. They all gave him knowing looks. How was this not surprising to anyone else?
“Now that he’s gotten that off of his chest, can we watch this thing?” Britta asked, completely ignoring him.
“Wait,” Jeff said loudly, raising his hands into the air. “Nobody cares? After everything that happened? Everything I’ve been through?”
“We do have lives of our own,” Shirley sassed him with a nod before taking a spot on the couch. Britta collapsed next to her. Jeff frowned and walked over to sit beside Annie.
“I don’t get it,” he said to no one in particular before glancing at the brunette. She was looking at him as if he had lost his mind.
“Way to be cool, Jeff.” She smirked. “I can’t believe you were worried about me.”
“You want someone to make a scene about it? Go tell the dean,” Shirley suggested and Annie chuckled and reached over to touch fingertips with the woman. When Jeff shot Annie an incredulous look, she raised her eyebrows at him.
“What?” she defended. “That’s true.”
The lights dimmed. “These are the fruits of everyone’s labor over the past month,” Abed stated as he stood in front of the large television screen. Without another word, he stepped aside and the credits began to roll.
Jeff leaned over toward Annie and whispered to her. “What did Pierce say to you?”
She gave him the barest of smiles and leaned up to his ear to respond quietly. “He apologized and said he thought you really loved me, even if you never got around to telling me yourself.” Jeff pulled away, shocked. Glancing over at Pierce, he met the man’s gaze and nodded. Pierce mirrored his action and Jeff smiled to himself. He had a sneaking suspicion that Pierce wouldn’t be enrolling in Greendale for fall semester. Something told Jeff he would be living halfway around the world by then.
Annie’s gasp caused Jeff to look at the screen, where his ‘Community College Chronicles’ counterpart was in his apartment, lifting weights and looking in a mirror. There was a knock at the door and Annie’s counterpart stepped in and-
Wait.
What the hell?
When the lights came back on seventy-three minutes later, there was nothing but silence in the room. Annie’s outraged squeak was the first noise to be emitted as she stood quickly. “Abed!” she whined. “Why did you do this?”
“Was it accurate?” Shirley asked, turning to the couple.
Jeff’s eyes were still large and unblinking. “Accurate enough.”
“This is what you’ve been working on?” Britta asked. “You were making a movie about them?”
“Sorry, Britta.” Abed cocked his head to the side. “The Troy and Britta subplot ended up on the cutting room floor.” Britta’s mouth dropped open in shock and she looked at Troy suspiciously. His eyes widened and a huge fake grin spread across his face in the next instant.
“Did you tell him?” Britta hissed loudly without moving her lips.
“No,” Troy answered in the same fashion.
Jeff leaned toward Annie. “Does she know we can all still hear her?”
“Maybe she’s practicing a new ventriloquist act?” she suggested with a shrug and Jeff chuckled.
“I don’t like the way I was portrayed in that movie,” Pierce spoke up gruffly. “I’m not old or weak.” He slumped back into his wheelchair a moment later. “Does anyone have a butterscotch?”
“And why wasn’t I in this more?” Shirley asked. “Just because I’m not playing grab-ass or blackmailing any of you, I get forgotten about.”
“Sorry, Shirley.” Abed thought for a moment. “You can be the star of my next film.” With that, he leaned over the table and started cutting the cake.
Shirley got up to help him, mentioning something about wanting to recast for her part and Jeff turned on the couch to face Annie. “So.”
Annie frowned at him her lower lip trembling ever so slightly. “Everyone knows everything?” she asked quietly.
“Looks like it.”
She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, looking stricken. “Oh,” she groaned. “That is so embarrassing.”
“Annie,” Jeff stated with a grin. “I’m kind of a catch. I mean, look at me. I’m pretty adorable.” He cocked his head to the side, willing her to smile at him. When her mouth finally quirked up on one side, Jeff felt as if he’d accomplished something great. A plate of cake was shoved in between them and Jeff looked up to see Abed gazing down at them curiously. He stood as Annie accepted the plate from Abed. “Do I want to know how you figured all of that out? Were you having us tailed?” Abed shook his head. “Then how did you manage to make what was basically one long re-enactment of the last month?”
“Maybe he just wanted us to be together?” Annie suggested with a small smile.
“That’s not it,” Abed clarified with a shake of his head and Annie’s smile faded. “Years of television watching has made me pretty adept at seeing things before other people can. Were you guys the original choice for coupledom in our group? No, but you’re far more interesting.” He took a bite of cake and chewed it in quietly. “It wasn’t a matter of working to get you two together because I want you to be together. It was more just a matter of tracking something that was inevitable and trying to speed the process up slightly.”
Annie stood as well, now face to face with the film maker. “Why would you do that?”
“I’ve already told you Annie. I don’t like relationship drama, and the faster we can get past this kind of stuff, the faster we can get back to fun adventures. For instance, I’m thinking about building a time machine.” Abed looked between the two of them as he chewed.
“It was a good movie, Abed.”
“Thanks,” Abed replied. “I’m thinking about entering it in some festivals in the fall. You guys will have to sign a release though.”
Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Can I get a producing credit on it?”
“Sure,” Abed answered.
“Then have fun at Sundance.”
Abed nodded at them before walking over to join Troy and Britta, who were seemingly in the middle of a pretty involved conversation. Jeff watched them for a moment, trying to read their lips when he felt a small hand slide against his. He glanced down and smiled at the sight of Annie’s fingers interlocking with his own. When he met her gaze, she smiled sweetly up at him.
“I’m kind of tired,” she stated softly. “Can we go home now?”
He squeezed her hand.
“We can definitely go home now.”
***
I can't believe I actually finished this thing! I have put together a soundtrack album for the fic. Here's the link to that entry:
It's Always Open Season On Princesses- The Album
I could never thank you guys enough for reading this thing and seeing it all the way to the end. This has been a very emotional journey for me for the last twelve months, and you have been extremely supportive. I'd like to give shout-outs to stephanierb who has been the most involved in the actual story itself. From the very beginning, she was always the one who was asking questions and picking up on subtleties I was putting it. To teruel_a_witch for being my awesome brain twin in so many ways. She was my first and most vocal cheerleader and if it hadn't been for thinking she would like it, I probably never would have started it in the first place. And finally, to supercapo. I don't know how to explain how much of you is in this story. I feel your fingerprints all over it. My brain twin may be why I started this, but if not for your persistence, I never would have finished.
Thank you so much everyone. I could keep typing away to try and prove how much you guys have meant to me, but it would just be more words. I can't express the feeling in my chest right now, but it is because of you guys. You're amazing.
Keep each other safe. Keep faith. Goodnight.
Spoilers: Through Season 2
Word Count: 4459 ( For a grand total of 122,136 words. Holy crap.)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, although I understand the show-running job is up for grabs.
***********
“Do you want to stop somewhere for coffee?”
Annie opened her mouth to answer him and instead gave him a long, ugly yawn. When she could finally control herself, she covered her mouth self-consciously.
“So, that’s a ‘yes’, right?” Jeff asked in mock sincerity and Annie rolled her eyes in response. “Annie, I really don’t think anyone would care if we slept a couple more hours.” He shot her rather convincing pouty expression over the roof of his car and could tell from her expression that she was starting to crumble. “Come on, no one will miss us.”
Us.
The word didn’t stick in his throat the way he thought it would. No, it actually felt good. Liberating even. After all of the purposeful misdirection and game-playing, it really had been as easy as being honest with her.
Who would have thought?
“Jeff,” Annie chastised him with an obvious air of affection, “Pierce is being sent home this afternoon from the hospital and we need to be at his house for the party.” She punctuated the statement with another yawn.
“We’re having a party?” he asked. “You miss everything when you don’t have a phone in this group. I think we are going to need to have an intervention with Shirley soon if this baking thing doesn’t stop.”
Annie raised her eyebrows teasingly at him. “She’s fine. And maybe if you wanted to stay in the loop you shouldn’t have decided to send your phone out for a swim.” She grinned at him in the morning sun and Jeff couldn’t help returning the gesture. When she smiled at him like that, his impulse was to give her whatever she wanted. This clearly meant that she couldn’t ever figure that out. How dangerous would that be?
When he’d woken up that morning, there had been a split second of panic that had spread through his chest. That moment of confusion with his surroundings had eased at the mere sight of Annie, curled up on her side next to him. She had looked so small in his bed. But he knew now without a doubt, even if he’d been trying to convince himself otherwise for a long time, that Annie was definitely a grown woman.
“Jeff?” Annie called, pulling him out of his daydream before it had even begun. He glanced up at her quizzical face. “I said ‘what are you thinking about?’” She smiled at him and Jeff could detect the barest hint of nerves there.
He slid his sunglasses down his nose and shot her a look that made her blush instantly. He loved that he didn’t even have to say anything to make that happen. “Yeah,” he agreed as she glanced away, seemingly embarrassed at the slightest hint of their budding physical relationship. “Are you blushing?” he teased her lightly.
“Jeff,” she whined back at him and he smiled even wider as he unlocked the doors of his car and they climbed in. He watched her settle into her seat and fasten her seat belt before smoothing her skirt down demurely over her thighs. When she finally cottoned onto the fact that he was watching her, Annie turned to him with a curious expression. “What?” Jeff simply shook his head, trying not to grin at the fidgety, over-achieving female who had somehow ended up his girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
Oof.
He’d never been one to be overtly positive about life in general, instead always choosing to find the negative aspects of every scenario and working them out before they bit him in the ass. His motivational speeches that his friends had come to expect from him were not his feelings, but more a way to keep them calm and happy in the face of any problems. Even as Jeff allowed his seatbelt to engage, his brain shot twenty different scenarios through his head, all of them ending in Annie breaking up with him. There was a greater than likely chance that he could still mess this up entirely. But he felt better about life in general whenever she was around. And realizing ahead of time that he could ruin everything was half the battle. “So, coffee?” he asked Annie as he backed out of his parking space.
She nodded. “I’m a little tired.” Yawn. “I don’t want anyone to notice.”
Yawn.
“Notice what?” Jeff cracked when she finally closed her mouth again. “No, I think you’re playing this whole sleepy thing very subtly.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Try not to drool on the leather seats. Again.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry. “I was a little distracted from sleeping last night.”
He nodded. “I noticed, what with you waking me up to have sex with you.”
“Jeff!” Annie squealed, her cheeks turning pink.
“Believe me,” he countered. “I’m not complaining, Annie.”
They sat in comfortable silence as the Lexus made its way toward the nearest Starbucks drive-through. “So,” she said slowly. “Are we telling everyone?” Her clear nervousness at the thought made Jeff cough through a smirk.
“I don’t think we’re really going to have to,” he answered honestly and Annie furrowed her brow. “Annie, yesterday at this time, you weren’t even speaking to me. How good of an actress do you think you are?”
The young woman opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. “So, you really think I’m that obvious?”
“Yes,” Jeff responded lightly. “But they’re going to know eventually anyway.”
“Fine,” she answered with an edge to her voice. “We’ll just see how cool I can be.”
Jeff glanced over at her. “So, you’re going to lie to your friends all day to prove a point?”
“You bet your cute butt I am,” was her reply.
“You think I have a cute butt, huh?” he grinned at her and Annie gave him a one-shouldered shrug, refusing to meet his eye. “You do know they’re going to ask regardless of whether they know we’re a couple, right?”
“Maybe,” Annie conceded. “But I kind of want to just have it be mine, ours for a while without having to hear all of their thoughts on it.” She frowned worriedly over at him. “Does that make me a bad friend?”
“No,” he answered easily. “It makes you a sane human.” Annie sighed. Her phone chirped from inside of her bag and she reached in to dig for it.
“It’s Rich,” she said a moment before she answered it. “Hey, Rich.” She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. “Isn’t it a little late to be calling?” Pause. “What? What are you doing in London?” Jeff glanced over at her troubled expression. “Rich….Rich! I know.” Annie’s face softened. “Yeah, he told me.” Pause. “Last night.”
Did that stupid weasel call to rat him out? When he was the one in cahoots with the evil queen? “What is he telling you?” Jeff asked.
Annie held up a finger to quiet him. “Well yeah, but….you like him.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “I know that, but it was his job.” She chuckled lightly and Jeff clenched his jaw. Even after everything, the thought of her talking to Rich made him kind of crazy. It was slightly comforting to know that it was a hate for the doctor himself and not some misplaced jealousy over Annie though. “No, it’s all….” Annie turned to glance affectionately at Jeff, which he caught out of the corner of his eye. “Everything is good here.” Pause. “Yeah, he’s coming home from the hospital today.” Long pause. “I….I think you should go for it, Rich.” She grinned widely and Jeff bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from demanding to know what they were talking about. The secrets and the lying and the game-playing were done now. He might have problems trusting people in general, but not her.
Not anymore.
Annie hung up her phone and turned to him, practically beaming. “Rich is going to be staying in Italy indefinitely.”
Jeff’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?” She nodded. “Huh. I gotta say, I didn’t really see that coming.”
“You should see them together,” Annie replied. “They’re really cute.”
“What was the rest of that?” Jeff asked as lightly as he could.
“Oh, he just wanted to warn me about Pierce and Camilla and Sergio and …you.”
He frowned. “I’m insulted at being lumped in with that group.”
“What was it like kissing her?” Annie asked with a wrinkled nose.
“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me.” Jeff pulled up to the window and ordered. “And it was terrifying. Like making out with one of those hot dogs that stay on the rollers all day at the gas station.”
“Ew,” Annie giggled before taking a sip of her coffee. “So, we’re not telling everyone today? That we’re…..”
Jeff stopped himself from purposely being obtuse. He didn’t think she would find the humor in that at this juncture. “If you want to tell them, you should tell them.”
“You don’t want to?” she asked.
Jeff turned onto Pierce’s street. “I just don’t think it’s any of their business. And after the last month of every one of them butting into our lives, I don’t want to give any of them the satisfaction.” He glowered. “Especially Pierce.”
Giving him a long furtive glance, Annie frowned and took another sip. “I thought you and Pierce talked everything out.”
“We did,” Jeff answered, his eyes staying on the road.
“And?”
He sighed. “And he may genuinely like you, but he still put both of us in the middle of a very large game of chicken with his shrew of an ex-wife.”
“His heart was in the right place,” Annie defended weakly.
Jeff pulled into Pierce’s circular drive and put the car in park. “I don’t get it, Annie. You refuse to trust me ninety percent of the time and yet give him the benefit of the doubt at every turn.” He turned in his seat to face the young woman. “What gives?”
She frowned to herself for a moment. “When Pierce disappoints me, it doesn’t matter as much to me.” Staring down at her hands, she continued softly. “I don’t love him.”
Crap.
Jeff had told himself that he was protecting her from…well, him this entire time. But truly, the person he’d been protecting was himself. Not from Annie. No, that idea was laughable. Years of not stacking up, of never being important to another person had made him at the very least gun shy when it came to intimacy. Annie knew all of this, knew everything about him, and she still loved him. Trusted him, when he had never really given her any reason to. He opened his mouth.
“I went to the airport.”
“Huh?” Annie asked eloquently.
Jeff mentally kicked himself. He knew it needed to be said, but he had been planning on waiting a little longer to drop this particular piece of information into her lap. “I was at the airport the day you left.” Annie’s eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open in shock. “I went to the airport. With a bag.”
She swallowed. “And?”
“And I chickened out,” he replied with a shrug.
Her eyes stayed on his face for a long time, simply sizing him up. Jeff fought the urge to distract her from her own thought process. “Why did you come to the airport?” Annie finally asked, and he could tell she was scared of what the answer might be.
He pulled his sunglasses off of his face and held her gaze for a moment. “Because I wanted to go with you.”
“Really?” Annie asked as she visibly melted.
“I mean,” Jeff qualified slowly. “I’m not going to lie here and tell you that I must have been in love with you the entire time.” Annie’s face fell. “I have been working a long time at convincing myself that I didn’t feel anything for you and trying to desensitize myself to the….” He paused and grinned. “To the Annie of it all.” Annie’s mouth quirked up on one side. “I didn’t get on the plane with you because I was sure that whether or not you knew it, I was not what you wanted.”
“And now?” she persisted.
“I’ve decided to trust your judgment.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. “It’s usually pretty good, after all.”
One small cold hand landed on his and he met her gaze. “Thank you for telling me, Jeff.” She smiled encouragingly at him and Jeff felt himself relax.
He jerked his head in the direction of the immense house. “Let’s get this over with.”
They walked in tandem, carefully not touching, all the way to the front door. It was yanked open at the last second by Shirley. She beamed at them before stepping aside to let them in. “I didn’t expect you two to be so prompt today,” she simpered at them. Taking in the Lexus in the driveway, she turned to glance at the innocently. “Just one car? Did you come together?”
“Yeah,” Annie answered smoothly. “My car is still at the airport, so Jeff gave me a lift this morning.”
Shirley’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly before she was smiling again. “That was nice of him. Annie, Abed is in the kitchen getting the food laid out. Can you give him a hand for a minute while I talk to Jeff?”
Jeff felt a trickle of dread shoot down his spine that caused him to outright shiver. Annie shot him a concerned look and he nodded at her ever so slightly before she disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.
And now Shirley would kill him.
She watched him silently, waiting for him to speak. But Jeff was very good at this game. He smiled at her before stepping further into Pierce’s large living room and taking in the high ceilings. Shirley followed him and looked up at him. “Shirley, I’m not sure what you think this is accomplishing, but I can tell you it’s not working.” She just stared at him. “If you’re going to lecture me, just do it.” She raised her eyebrows. “Threaten me?” Her lips curled up into a small smile. Gently tugging on his shirtsleeve, Shirley reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek before walking into the kitchen. “Shirley?”
Huh.
That had gone eerily well, actually.
Jeff started to follow her to the kitchen when the front door opened behind him. He turned in time to see a wheelchair-bound Pierce being pushed into the house by Troy. Britta followed behind them, carrying a bunch of helium balloons.
“-just don’t see why we couldn’t have stopped off,” Pierce was complaining.
“Pierce,” Britta snapped. “You just had cancer surgery; we were not going to stop off for cigars.”
“I have some candy cigarettes,” Troy whispered, bending close to the old man’s ear. “Just don’t tell Britta.”
The blonde noticed Jeff and gave him a smile that he returned. “You’re here,” she stated.
“How was the trip from the hospital?” he smarmed at her and Britta rolled her eyes.
“It was like driving two kids home from soccer practice,” she answered. “I kind of want to slap both of them right now.”
“Aw,” Jeff said. “You’re gonna be a great mom.”
“Jeff,” Pierce spoke up and Jeff looked down at him. “What are you doing here?” At the sound of Pierce’s voice, Shirley came rushing in from the kitchen with Annie and Abed on her heels. “What are all of you people doing in my house? Are you robbing me?”
“You were supposed to text me when you were leaving the hospital, Britta.” Shirley spoke through gritted teeth, her smile never moving.
Britta held up her phone. “Dead battery.”
“Surprise welcome home party,” Abed answered Pierce. “Shirley made cake.”
“Does it have eggs and flour?” Britta asked. “Because I’m vegan and gluten-free now.”
Shirley glared at the blonde. “Just eat the damn cake,” she said in a low tone. Flipping personalities instantly, she smiled over at Annie. “This is kind of a welcome home party for Annie and Jeff too, isn’t it?”
Annie exchanged a quick glance with Jeff before smiling. “That’s not necessary, Shirley. This is Pierce’s party.”
“Damn right it is,” he piped up from his wheelchair.
“We’re just glad to be home,” Annie continued, earning a small smile from Jeff.
“I would like a word alone with Annie,” Pierce stated and all eyes went to the young brunette. Except for Jeff, who let his eyes land on the old millionaire. He met Jeff’s gaze for a moment before looking over at Annie. “It will just take a minute.”
“Uh,” Shirley floundered for a moment. “Of course. Everybody, can you come help me get the snacks ready in the kitchen?” Without waiting for a response, the mother of three made her way back toward the kitchen, pushing Jeff along with her. He protested silently for a moment before letting the woman direct him to the next room. Once the door had swung shut, Jeff was pressed against it.
“What do you think he’s saying to her?”
Troy shrugged. “Maybe he’s sending her somewhere else now. Like Tibet.”
“Maybe he’s asking her to dress up and nurse him back to health,” Britta suggested. Jeff shot her a dirty look. “What, like that isn’t a possibility with him?”
“Troy and I have to go set up the media room for the viewing,” Abed announced before nodding at his friend. He turned to Jeff. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“Thanks, Abed.” Jeff answered sincerely. Abed merely blinked at him before following Troy out of the room. He turned to face Britta and Shirley. “So…..” He raised his eyebrows. “What kind of cake did you make?” He could tell from Britta’s expression that the question would be flying out of her mouth any moment now. He braced himself for it.
Before the blonde could take him to task, Annie pushed the swinging door open slowly and entered the kitchen. Jeff studied her carefully, but she clearly wasn’t meeting his eye. “What did he say?” he asked her as nonchalantly as he could manage. She gave him a small, reassuring smile but stayed silent. “Annie?”
“I guess there is something Abed has set up for us to watch in the media room?” Annie questioned, taking the bowl of snack mix that Shirley handed her. Jeff frowned at her before taking a stack of small plates and a handful of plastic forks and followed Annie down the hall to the media room.
Seriously, what had Pierce said? It was killing him not knowing what the old crazy man had said to Annie. She would have to tell him eventually, wouldn’t she? Why was she keeping this from him? After he’d been so honest with her about dumping her at the airport like a sack of hot garbage. Okay, well that didn’t make him sound too good actually. But that didn’t change the fact that Pierce could tell her anything he wanted to, whether or not it was true. Jeff had tried very hard to remember everything, every secret he’d been keeping from her, and every secret everyone had been keeping from her. What had he said to her?
No.
He wasn’t going to obsess about it. This wasn’t the time or the place. He would wait until they left and then ask her.
“Seriously,” Jeff said in a hushed tone as he stepped into the media room. “What did he say to you? Did he say something about me?”
Annie gave him a strange look. “Don’t worry about it, Jeff. I’ll tell you later.” With that, she turned and walked away from him. She wasn’t being rude, just dismissive. And secretive. Hadn’t they had enough of the secrets?
Pierce rolled himself into the room, followed by Shirley and Britta.
Here went nothing.
Oh god.
“Annie and I are seeing each other,” Jeff stated, pointing needlessly to the woman across the room, whose jaw dropped immediately.
“Uh, duh doy!” Pierce replied with a roll of his eyes. Jeff stared at each of his friends in turn. They all gave him knowing looks. How was this not surprising to anyone else?
“Now that he’s gotten that off of his chest, can we watch this thing?” Britta asked, completely ignoring him.
“Wait,” Jeff said loudly, raising his hands into the air. “Nobody cares? After everything that happened? Everything I’ve been through?”
“We do have lives of our own,” Shirley sassed him with a nod before taking a spot on the couch. Britta collapsed next to her. Jeff frowned and walked over to sit beside Annie.
“I don’t get it,” he said to no one in particular before glancing at the brunette. She was looking at him as if he had lost his mind.
“Way to be cool, Jeff.” She smirked. “I can’t believe you were worried about me.”
“You want someone to make a scene about it? Go tell the dean,” Shirley suggested and Annie chuckled and reached over to touch fingertips with the woman. When Jeff shot Annie an incredulous look, she raised her eyebrows at him.
“What?” she defended. “That’s true.”
The lights dimmed. “These are the fruits of everyone’s labor over the past month,” Abed stated as he stood in front of the large television screen. Without another word, he stepped aside and the credits began to roll.
Jeff leaned over toward Annie and whispered to her. “What did Pierce say to you?”
She gave him the barest of smiles and leaned up to his ear to respond quietly. “He apologized and said he thought you really loved me, even if you never got around to telling me yourself.” Jeff pulled away, shocked. Glancing over at Pierce, he met the man’s gaze and nodded. Pierce mirrored his action and Jeff smiled to himself. He had a sneaking suspicion that Pierce wouldn’t be enrolling in Greendale for fall semester. Something told Jeff he would be living halfway around the world by then.
Annie’s gasp caused Jeff to look at the screen, where his ‘Community College Chronicles’ counterpart was in his apartment, lifting weights and looking in a mirror. There was a knock at the door and Annie’s counterpart stepped in and-
Wait.
What the hell?
When the lights came back on seventy-three minutes later, there was nothing but silence in the room. Annie’s outraged squeak was the first noise to be emitted as she stood quickly. “Abed!” she whined. “Why did you do this?”
“Was it accurate?” Shirley asked, turning to the couple.
Jeff’s eyes were still large and unblinking. “Accurate enough.”
“This is what you’ve been working on?” Britta asked. “You were making a movie about them?”
“Sorry, Britta.” Abed cocked his head to the side. “The Troy and Britta subplot ended up on the cutting room floor.” Britta’s mouth dropped open in shock and she looked at Troy suspiciously. His eyes widened and a huge fake grin spread across his face in the next instant.
“Did you tell him?” Britta hissed loudly without moving her lips.
“No,” Troy answered in the same fashion.
Jeff leaned toward Annie. “Does she know we can all still hear her?”
“Maybe she’s practicing a new ventriloquist act?” she suggested with a shrug and Jeff chuckled.
“I don’t like the way I was portrayed in that movie,” Pierce spoke up gruffly. “I’m not old or weak.” He slumped back into his wheelchair a moment later. “Does anyone have a butterscotch?”
“And why wasn’t I in this more?” Shirley asked. “Just because I’m not playing grab-ass or blackmailing any of you, I get forgotten about.”
“Sorry, Shirley.” Abed thought for a moment. “You can be the star of my next film.” With that, he leaned over the table and started cutting the cake.
Shirley got up to help him, mentioning something about wanting to recast for her part and Jeff turned on the couch to face Annie. “So.”
Annie frowned at him her lower lip trembling ever so slightly. “Everyone knows everything?” she asked quietly.
“Looks like it.”
She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, looking stricken. “Oh,” she groaned. “That is so embarrassing.”
“Annie,” Jeff stated with a grin. “I’m kind of a catch. I mean, look at me. I’m pretty adorable.” He cocked his head to the side, willing her to smile at him. When her mouth finally quirked up on one side, Jeff felt as if he’d accomplished something great. A plate of cake was shoved in between them and Jeff looked up to see Abed gazing down at them curiously. He stood as Annie accepted the plate from Abed. “Do I want to know how you figured all of that out? Were you having us tailed?” Abed shook his head. “Then how did you manage to make what was basically one long re-enactment of the last month?”
“Maybe he just wanted us to be together?” Annie suggested with a small smile.
“That’s not it,” Abed clarified with a shake of his head and Annie’s smile faded. “Years of television watching has made me pretty adept at seeing things before other people can. Were you guys the original choice for coupledom in our group? No, but you’re far more interesting.” He took a bite of cake and chewed it in quietly. “It wasn’t a matter of working to get you two together because I want you to be together. It was more just a matter of tracking something that was inevitable and trying to speed the process up slightly.”
Annie stood as well, now face to face with the film maker. “Why would you do that?”
“I’ve already told you Annie. I don’t like relationship drama, and the faster we can get past this kind of stuff, the faster we can get back to fun adventures. For instance, I’m thinking about building a time machine.” Abed looked between the two of them as he chewed.
“It was a good movie, Abed.”
“Thanks,” Abed replied. “I’m thinking about entering it in some festivals in the fall. You guys will have to sign a release though.”
Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Can I get a producing credit on it?”
“Sure,” Abed answered.
“Then have fun at Sundance.”
Abed nodded at them before walking over to join Troy and Britta, who were seemingly in the middle of a pretty involved conversation. Jeff watched them for a moment, trying to read their lips when he felt a small hand slide against his. He glanced down and smiled at the sight of Annie’s fingers interlocking with his own. When he met her gaze, she smiled sweetly up at him.
“I’m kind of tired,” she stated softly. “Can we go home now?”
He squeezed her hand.
“We can definitely go home now.”
***
I can't believe I actually finished this thing! I have put together a soundtrack album for the fic. Here's the link to that entry:
It's Always Open Season On Princesses- The Album
I could never thank you guys enough for reading this thing and seeing it all the way to the end. This has been a very emotional journey for me for the last twelve months, and you have been extremely supportive. I'd like to give shout-outs to stephanierb who has been the most involved in the actual story itself. From the very beginning, she was always the one who was asking questions and picking up on subtleties I was putting it. To teruel_a_witch for being my awesome brain twin in so many ways. She was my first and most vocal cheerleader and if it hadn't been for thinking she would like it, I probably never would have started it in the first place. And finally, to supercapo. I don't know how to explain how much of you is in this story. I feel your fingerprints all over it. My brain twin may be why I started this, but if not for your persistence, I never would have finished.
Thank you so much everyone. I could keep typing away to try and prove how much you guys have meant to me, but it would just be more words. I can't express the feeling in my chest right now, but it is because of you guys. You're amazing.
Keep each other safe. Keep faith. Goodnight.