Fic: The Physiology of the Human Heart 2/2

Feb 10, 2011 15:41


Okay, so this whole posting thing didn't go well at all.

Sorry.

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Part 2 )

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Comments 46

actual_corrine February 10 2011, 23:11:44 UTC
This was so good! I was spellbound. You have nothing to be nervous about, because you are seriously talented.

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elsiesnuffin February 13 2011, 01:38:19 UTC
Thank you so much for reading! I'm really happy that you liked it :)

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shopgirl909 February 11 2011, 01:26:22 UTC
DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. This is SO good. A few things though.

In part one you say, "because a moment later her is literally rolling his eyes." HUH?

Also in part one, "unable to get out that she was him his English Literature book he‘d left in the study room" HUH? again.

Later in part one, "she feels one of his hand" shouldn't she feel one of his HANDS?

And in part two, "Tor prove that he can’t,"

Seriously though, AWESOME story. I will be saving it and I cannot wait to read more stories from you.

Wow, so good.

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elsiesnuffin February 13 2011, 01:39:29 UTC
That's what I get for letting my brother beta for me :(

Thanks for reading though!

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petrichor_fizz February 11 2011, 01:34:56 UTC
This was beautiful, I welled up and everything. Definitely keep it up.

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elsiesnuffin February 13 2011, 01:40:11 UTC
I'm glad you liked it.

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juliet_demarcus February 11 2011, 01:58:06 UTC
That was so enjoyable. I felt you really had all of the character voices down perfectly! I loved the progression between Jeff and Annie...you made it all very natural for who each of them are I think. Excellent work!

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elsiesnuffin February 13 2011, 01:41:25 UTC
Thanks! It was the characterization that had me nervous, so I'm glad you thought I handled it. Phew!

Really appreciate your taking the time to read this :)

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avaritia_90 February 11 2011, 02:24:26 UTC
I love this story, no joke, it's officially in my top five favorite community fics. You basically just wrote the most perfect Jeff/Annie story.

Also?His Disney Kink? Made me snort juice up my nose, it burned, but I was giggling too hard to care.

((Bonus Love+Awesome points for sneaking Craig Ferguson in there.))

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elsiesnuffin February 13 2011, 01:44:47 UTC
I used to work with a guy who legitimately had this particular kink, and I thought it was the perfect thing for Jeff to be really ashamed of, because it adds a whole other level to his anxiety around Annie in general.

Also, Craig Ferguson is awesome.

Thank you for reading!

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