Even now, I just wish I could see her. At least we could handle this. She could make me feel so good. I have been so close to crying and I hate it. She doesn't even realize how much it hurt. I know I'm not a pussy, though. I guess this is what happens to a lot of guys. She threatened me like that and I almost halted. I just wish I could be with her ( Read more... )

Well, all day I've been asking myself many different questions, but they were all just to keep my mind off the truth. I know she doesn't care about me as much as I care about her. I hate it, because I want her so much, but I would do so much for her. She's still lying to me. I feel like she's trying to shadow the truth. I love her, but she said the ( Read more... )

Well, Whitley's home, but I don't know if and when I'll see her. It sucks!!! But, yeah...That's all I care about, at the moment.

All I wanna do is see her, but I can't. My eyes keep watering, but I'm still happy, somewhat, because a bit of hope has been rekindled. I love her and I miss her. Now the only question is...Does she love and miss me back? I'm so scared. It's like I'm a six-year-old in a dark room ( Read more... )

Well, I'm tired, hot, and covered by a salty residue left over from the evaporated sweat of a day at work, in the sun. I would normally feel miserable at times such as this, but... I have amazingly exciting news. Whitley and I have been getting along very well, aside from a major fuck up on my end, which I still feel horrible over. I have found her ( Read more... )

I feel so sick. I screwed up so bad, today. Yesterday was such a great day, but I screwed it all up, this morning. I always turn everything to shit. I know she doesn't hate me, but she said that I made her feel like a whore. How can it be any worse than that? I did that to her even when I was trying to be nice. I know that was a little too nice, ( Read more... )

Well, I've got a lot of REALLY personal stuff that I want to say, but I can't, because everyone will read this. It's not bad...For everyone at least, but I'm nervous. This is a place where I should be able to write anything that goes through my mind, but people read it, so it's not very personal. I just wish I could get up the nerve to say what I ( Read more... )

Well, today, I felt really nicely. I kept thinking about Whitley, but in a different way. The way where you smile because you're excited to see someone. I feel bad for asking her not to kiss me, but I just feel so easy to get. I guess I am. Even so, over the summer, she'll meet some guy and feel for him. He'll be what I was. It bothers me, because ( Read more... )

Well, up until a few moments ago, I felt like shit. Now, this song by Skinlab is making me feel good. I guess the big news is that I'm trying not to smoke tonight. Then, I'll try tomorrow...And so forth. Colleen helped me realise some things lastnight, and this weekend, I broke in the fact that I'm single. And, I was thinking about it, today. I ( Read more... )

Today was a good day. My dad woke me up at 9:30, which would normally be late enough, but not on this day. I'm fucking exausted from going non-stop this weekend. Anyway, I slithered out of bed around quarter-til-ten and got all dressed and good for work. I worked in the yard until around 1 and went to Ashley's pool party. Holy shit, she's got a ( Read more... )