i write all these things in my notebook, and i realize no one will ever read them. and then i go back to them and they seem so contrived and annoying. but one sticks out, always. and i thought maybe i should share it ( Read more... )

i don't know how to feel about this. i don't know if this is good. this could be a slippery slope and me settling. i don't really like him, and i'm using him to ignore the pain you left me with. this isn't right. this isn't good. this isn't what i want.

but i know i won't stop it...

i want to puke.

i know it's bad. i know. but don't you reaize some of us aren't strong. when i do it, i don't do it to be part of the crowd, i don't do it for fun ( Read more... )

the long day is over. the night is ebbing and morning is on the horizon ( Read more... )

there are so many things in my life that i have to be happy about and so many people in my life i appreciate. things are looking up.

Leaf by Leaf page by page ( Read more... )

do you remember when we would swing away? when we would go barefoot and just let the wind rush over our exposed skin, tickling our senses and making our hair stand on end? when we would go as fast as we could just to get a breeze to feel some relief from the heat of summer? we would lay in the grass and play with the blades, or stare at the sky, ( Read more... )

i thought last night was going to be amazing. i thought it would be different and better than last time. i was hoping for a time like the few minutes we spent on stu's couch. for those few moments i felt so strongly that i was part of something full of love and support. all i wanted was to be part of something ( Read more... )

i'm sick....and tired...and just over it. things are changing, people who i've always had there to support me are leaving and it hurts to think there won't be any more impromptu hang sessions ( Read more... )

things have been so.....below average. i expected everything to be the same and completely static. but when you came back i realized that everything had changed. and it's always going to be changing and no matter how much we want it, it can never be how it was. and that scares me and makes me agnry and sad because i love you and i wish it could ( Read more... )