Haven't been here in a couple of years. I just spent a bit of time reading past entries and it's weird to think that at some point, I was the person who wrote all of that. I seemed to always have been going through some kind of emotional turmoil. For the past while I've been balanced and calm. I made a lot of mistakes and hurt a lot of people when ( Read more... )

It's a Friday night and I've chosen to stay home. I think this is the first Friday in a very long time where I decided to do nothing. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Growing up is a strange thing to do. When I was little I had this whole idea of what growing up would be like and it's nothing like how I imagined. It's kind of ( Read more... )

A lot has changed since April. Although not always easy, they have been healthy changes ... healthy for my mind and soul. I've revisited a lot of the past and have realized that there are some things I can fix and others I have to leave alone. I've learned who is good for me and who isn't. Those who are not good for me I have left behind and have ( Read more... )

i don't know what i'm feeling tonight but it's along the lines of, not needed.

Who thought I would have a problem? I won't admit it to anyone who can help because I don't want help but I do but I'm not ready to face myself. I'll hide for now and see what happens. Winter blues have settled in. I am so fucking nostalgic sometimes it's sickening.

what just happened?

I never forgave you, I don't think I will. I'm OK with that.

The absolute best part is when I stop giving shits and fucks. I round them up in a group and throw them away in memory of you because I am sick of being a good friend to people who can't be a good friend to me. I am sick of people not being able to handle hearing what they are doing wrong and instead of accepting responsibility, tell me something I ( Read more... )

They teach you how to love and teach you how to forgive but most importantly they teach you that for every bad person, there is another good one waiting to be in your life. Waiting to love you exactly how you should be loved. More importantly, it teaches you how to open yourself up again. To risk it with someone new because no two people are the ( Read more... )

Forgive but don't forget. When you forget, it's deemed as OK. When you forget, you strike up old friendships/relationships that ended for a reason. Reasons that are important to keeping your dignity in check. Reasons that mean something, that you can't just get over because it happened for a reason and those reasons become embedded in you, in your ( Read more... )